为您找到与轻松用英语怎么说相关的共200个结果:
幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf,”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了,先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语笑话轻松学带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
After 20 years as a pilot,I became an airport manager and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle,but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said,”Why don't you start flying again?"
开了20多年的飞机后,我被提升为机场经理。但不久我就感到了这项工作的压力。为了放松一下,我想买辆摩托车骑。可家里人说那太危险。我妻子还说:“你为什么不继续去开飞机?”
The next day,as I showed a businessman around the airport,he looked longingly at the planes. "I used to take flying lessons,but my wife made me quit," he lamented."She said it was dangerous.”
第二天,我陪同一个商人参观机场,他紧紧地盯着那些飞机说:“我曾上过飞机课,但我妻子却让我放弃它。”那商人愤愤地说:“她说那太危险。”
"Tell her you want to get a motorcycle,"I advised. My new-found friend now has his pilot's license.
“那你就跟她说你想开摩托车。”我建议他。现在,我这位新结识的朋友已取得了飞机驾驶执照。
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来轻松一刻英语幽默故事,希望大家喜欢!
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂, 先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料martini。
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完,生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了,“呃,老兄,我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题,但你得告诉我,你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答,“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来,那就说明我喝得差不多了,该回家了。”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
Tony just finished the training at the Macdolod.
Tony刚结束在当地的麦当劳餐厅的培训。
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time . his first customer ordered a milkshake
当他第一次站在收银台后工作时他不免有点紧张。他的第一位顾客点了一分奶昔。
" tony , " his manager said , " remember to say ' welcome to mcdonald ' s ' to each customer before they order .
经理说, “记得在客人点餐前要说‘欢迎光临麦当劳’ 。 ”
第二位顾客要了一份芝士汉堡。这一回,经理又走近Tony,说:“记得问每位客人是否要薯条配餐。”
这时,一个戴着滑雪面罩的男子走进餐厅,他走到收银台钱,用枪指着Tony的脑袋说:“把钱全拿出来!”
Tony看了一眼经理,想了下,迅速回答:“请问您是要堂食还是外带?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话三则英语,欢迎大家阅读!
Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife."
两个朋友在纽约市汽车中心总站的一家咖啡厅里吃午饭。 他们注意到一个男人独自坐在邻桌。当服务员小姐走向他时,无意中听到她问那个男人:“你是在等一位个子很高,很瘦,留长发,皮肤很白的金发女人吗?” 那人回答说:“在我生活的长远规划中,我是在等。但是今天,我却是在等我的妻子。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话英语,欢迎大家阅读!
Daughter:Why are some of your hairs white,Mom?
Mom:Well,every time that you do something wromg and make me cry or unhappy,one of my hairs turns white.
Daughter:Mom,how come all of grandma’s hairs are white.
女儿:妈妈,你为什么有好几根白头发?
妈妈:每次你做错了事,惹我生气或是流泪,我就会有根头发变白。
女儿:妈妈,为什么外婆的头发都是白的。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松英语趣味短故事,欢迎大家阅读!
An old man visited a doctor to consult as to what he should do,. The doctor gave him some instructions.
The old man shook his head and started to leave the office. The doctor said: "Sir, you forget to pay me." "Pay you for what?" said the old man. The doctor replied: "For myadvice."
"No, sir, no, sir," the old man replied, "I am not going to take it."
有个老头去找医生咨询,问他该怎么做,医生给他提了一些建议。
老头摇摇头就要离开诊室。医生说:“先生,你忘记了付费了。”“付什么费呀?”老头说。医生回答说:“付咨询费给我呀。”
老头说:“不啦,先生,我没有打算接受你的意见。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话精选英语,欢迎大家阅读!
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
一个女学生坐在座位上,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖,脚却伸到课桌间的走道里,被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事,老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来,把脚放进去。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松生活英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A male crab(螃蟹)met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。 第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。” “哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语轻松幽默故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗?”他责问道。
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
“知道,长官,”司机回答说。
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
“那你为什么不立即靠边停车?”
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
“我本来想这样做的,长官。”那男子回答说,“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了,我是害怕你把她带回来。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味英语故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed,but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards,her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license,but she didri t have one.
一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票,但她在我们这儿没建立帐户。当我问她要证明材料时,她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证,她说她没有。
"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.
“难道你就没带照片的东西吗?”
"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "
“噢,有啊,”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照,“站在后排的那个就是我。”
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我家 dad (爸爸),脾气 bad (坏),让我 sad (伤心难过)。
有只 cat (猫咪),非常 fat (肥胖),专吃 rat (鼠)。
放下 plate (盘子),赶到 gate (门口),已经 late (晚了)。
清晨 wake (醒来),来到 lake (湖边),钓上 snake (蛇)。
撇下 net (网),鱼没 get (得到),衣服 wet (湿了)。
为捉 pest (害虫),从不 rest (休息),本领 best (最棒)。
一只 pig (猪),非常 big (大),把洞 dig (挖)。
没给 tip (尖),把我 lip (唇),装上 zip (拉链)。
一只 kite( 风筝 ) ,颜色 white (白色),被狗 bite (咬)。
学会 ride (骑车),妈妈 pride (自豪)。
清晨 jog (慢跑),带上 dog (狗),踩到 frog (青蛙)。
轻轻 hop (跳),跳上 top (顶部),唱起 pop (流行音乐)。
把眼 close (闭上),用我 nose (鼻子),去闻 rose (玫瑰)。
喝着 coke (可乐),听着 joke (笑话),把腰 broke (扭伤)。
举着 gun (枪),瞄准 sun (太阳),不停 run (跑)。
小小 bug (烦恼),把我 hug (环抱)。
找个 excuse (借口),借车 use (用),遭到 refuse (拒绝)。
假装 mute (哑巴),真是 cute (聪明)。
开着 car (车),向着 star (星星),路途 far (遥远)。
想变 smart (睿智),必须 start (开始),学习 art (艺术)。
一个 driver (司机),掉进 river (河里),生命 over (结束)。
一个 robber (强盗),专抢 rubber (橡胶)。
穿上 shirt (衬衫),脱下 skirt (裙子),扔进 dirt (污垢)。
这只 bird (鸟),总跑 third (第三)。
个子 short (短小),喜欢 sport (运动),跑到 airport (太空)。
拿着 fork (叉),吃着 pork (猪肉)。
一个 nurse (护士),丢了 purse (钱包)。
买只 turtle (龟),颜色 purple (紫色)。
一只 goat (山羊),穿件 coat (外套),上了 boat (小船)。
一片 oat (燕麦),卡在 throat (喉咙)。
燃烧 oil (石油),直到 boil (沸腾),倒进 soil (土壤)。
是否 join (加入),抛起 coin (硬币)。
带上 hook (钩),来到 brook (溪),水面 look (看)。
手拿 book (书),一边 look (看),开始 cook (做饭)。
炎热 noon (中午),跳上 spoon (勺子),飞到 moon (月球)。
一个 fool (傻瓜),掉进 pool (水池),真是 cool (凉爽)。
西瓜 round (圆的),长在 ground (地面),被我 found (发现)。
一只 mouse (耗子) , 穿件 blouse, (衬衫)走进 house (屋子)。
天在 snow (下雪),风在 blow (吹),树在 grow (生长)。
秋风 follow (追随),树叶 yellow (黄色),落到 pillow (枕头)。
不知 cow (牛),近况 how (怎样),去问 now (现在)。
一座 town (镇),不停 down (下沉),快要 drown( 埋没)。
一只 bee (蜜蜂),躲进 tree (树),没人 see (看见)。
悬崖 deep (深),开着 jeep (吉普),莫要 sleep (睡觉)。
抱着 Barbie (芭比),吃着 cookie (饼干) , 看着 movie (电影)。
被我 niece (侄女),摔成 piece( 碎片)。
丢了 glue (胶水),没有 clue (线索),脸气 blue (蓝色)。
手拿 tissue (组织,薄纱),排好 queue (列队)。
一颗 pea (豌豆),掉进 sea (大海),泡壶 tea (茶)。
身体 weak (虚弱 ) ,爬上 peak (高峰),无力 speak( 说话)。
吞进 lead (铅,领导),摸摸 head (头),已经 dead (死了)。
吃着 bread (面包),报纸 spread (展开),开始 read (读)。
不停 train (训练 ) ,没有 pain (付出),哪有 gain (收货)。
把手 raise (举起),老师 praise (赞扬)。
小狗 paw (爪子),那根 straw (稻草,吸管),把画 draw (画,拉)。
坐在 lawn (草坪),学习 law (法律)。
抱着 puppy (小狗),心里 happy (快乐)。
被窝 cozy (舒适),床上 lazy (怠惰的),真是 crazy (疯狂的,着迷的)。
如果 shy (腼腆),不敢 try (尝试),飞机会 fly (飞行)。
不停 cry (哭泣),眼泪 dry (干涸),下锅 fry (油炸)。
很多 day (天),没发 pay (薪水,工资),无话 say (说)。
天空 gray (灰暗),无心 play (玩耍),回家 stay (呆着)。
顽皮 monkey (猴子),捡起 key (钥匙),扔向 donkey (驴,傻瓜)。
为了 honey (亲爱的,宝贝),节省 money (钱,支出)。
有个 boy (男孩),玩着 toy (玩具),心中 joy (喜悦)。
跳进 soy (黄豆,酱油),尽情 enjoy (享受)。
一只 hare (野兔),居然 dare (敢),对我 stare (盯 0 。
困难 share (分担),互相 care (关心),赶走 scare (恐惧)。
天气 fair (转晴,公平),凉爽 air (空气),吹拂 hair (头发)。
崭新 chair (椅子),滚下 stair (楼梯),需要 repair (维修)。
昨天 fire (火,开除),今天 hire (聘请),后天 retire (退休)。
扑灭 fire (大火),真是 tire (疲惫)。
离我 near (近),含着 tear (泪,撕扯),叫我 dear (亲爱的)。
一头 bear (熊,承受),裙子 wear (穿着),采摘 pear (梨)。
一只 deer (鹿),举起 beer (啤酒),大喊 cheers (干杯)。
这个 engineer (工程师),事事 pioneer (先锋)。
洗完 face (脸),系好 lace (带子,花边),参加 race (竞赛)。
吃着 rice (米),加点 ice (冰),口喊 nice (好)。
听听 music (音乐),变变 magic (魔术),吃吃 garlic (大蒜)。
看完 comic (滑稽,喜剧),野外 picnic (野餐)。
动作 quick (迅速),把只 cock (公鸡),藏进 sock (袜子)。
脱下 jacket (夹克),忘记 ticket (车票) , 还在 pocket (口袋)。
同学 each (每),手拿 peach (桃子),来到 beach (海滩)。
观众 watch (观看),激烈 match (比赛),球来 catch (接着)。
天气 sunny (晴朗),身无 penny (一分钱),感觉 funny (滑稽,有趣)。
最快 runner (跑步者) , 成了 winner (胜利者) , 享受 dinner (晚餐)。
拿起 ink (墨),不加 think (考虑),仰头 drink (饮用)。
敌人 tank (坦克,池塘),装上 bank (银行,储库),老天 thank (感谢)。
一首 song( 歌 ) ,歌词 long (长),总唱 wrong (错)。
山路 along (顺着,沿着),跑步 long (过长),身体 strong (强壮)。
像个 king (国王),插上 wing (翼,翅膀),不停 swing (摆动,挥舞)。
美好 spring (春天),歌儿 sing (唱),鲜花 bring (带来)。
一头 fox (狐狸),躲避 ox (牛),藏进 box (盒子)。
忘背 text (文本,课本),绝无 next (下次)。
身体 ill (生病),买来 pill (药),堆成 hill (山)。
一根 needle (针),掉进 noodle (面条)。
饭后 hurry (匆忙),书包 carry (带上),迟到 sorry (对不起)。
我家 parrot (鹦鹉),爱吃 carrot (胡萝卜)
做个 dream (梦),掉进 stream (溪流) , 大声 scream (惊叫)
穿着 dress (礼服),下着 chess (棋) , 结果 mess (糟糕) .
一辆 truck (大卡车),满载 duck (鸭子),一路 luck (顺利)。
碰到 trouble (问题),努力 double (加倍)
小小 age (年纪),读读 page (书,页),提高 wage (工资) .
打开 fridge (冰箱) , 端出 porridge (稀饭) , 扔下 bridge (桥) .
他很 tough (艰难) , 喝酒 enough( 很多 ) ,从不 laugh (笑)。
心中 wish (愿望),钓到 fish (鱼),做成 dish (菜)。
飞机 crash (崩溃,坠毁),烧成 ash (灰烬),损失 cash (现金)。
一个 youth (青年人),张开 mouth (嘴),吹到 south (南边)。
洗完 bath (澡),学习 math (数学)。
我的 mother (妈妈) , 生个 brother (弟弟) , 想要 another (另一个)。
寒冷 weather (天气) , 身披 leather (皮革) , 头戴 feather (羽毛)。
高高 sky (天空),不知 why (为什么),掉下 spy (间谍)。
站在 peak (高峰),对天 speak (说)。
到了 night (晚上),打开 light (灯),保护 sight (视力)。
方法 right (正确),坚持 fight (加油),前途 bright (光明)。
一只 chick (小鸡),动作 quick (快),把我 kick (踢)。
吃饭 quiet (安静,平和),注意 diet (饮食)。
猫吃 mice (老鼠 mouse 的复数),味道 nice (好),想吃 twice (第二次)。
这对 twin (双胞胎),总是 win (赢)!
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗?”他责问道。
“知道,长官,”司机回答说。
“那你为什么不立即靠边停车?”
“我本来想这样做的,长官。”那男子回答说,“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了,我是害怕你把她带回来。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Our four-year-old son speaks English and German, and he has picked up some Cantonese since living in Hong Kong.
One day I was getting ready to take him to a rugby game. His mother, not being a rugby fan, planned a quiet afternoon at home. Our son, however, pleaded.
"Come on, Mommy, you must come."
"I don't understand the game," she replied.
"But it's in English, Mommy!"
我们四岁的儿子说英语和德语,自从到香港居住后,他也能说上几句广东话。
一天我准备带他去看橄榄球比赛。她妈妈不喜欢看橄榄球,为自己安排了一个休闲的下午,我们的儿子求他的妈妈道:
“妈妈,你还是去吧你,应该和我们一起去”
“我不懂这种比赛”她回答。
“妈妈,比赛是用英语讲的。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松英语幽默故事,欢迎大家阅读!
My battery commander and I were interviewing candidates for a position as reconnaissance sergeant in our artillery unit. The selected soldier needed to have keen eyesight, plus the ability to react quickly. During one interview, the commander pointed to a hill about a mile away and asked a young sergeant, "Can you see that hill over there?"
"Yes, sir." he replied.
"Can you see the radio antenna on that hill?" Again, the soldier said that he could. "Well, then," the commander went on, "Can you see that bird sitting on the antenna?"
The sergeant leaned forward and squinted. "No, sir," he said, "but I can hear it is singing."
He got the job.
我和连长在面试我们炮兵部队侦察中士一职的候选人。被选的士兵要求有敏锐的观察力及快速的反应力。在一次面试时,连长指着一英里外的一座小山问一名年轻的中士:“你能看见那座山吗?”
“是的,长官。”他回答道。
“你能看见那座山上的无线电天线吗?”那士兵又说他能。“那么,”连长接着说:“你能看见停在天线上的那只鸟吗?”
那名中士身体前倾,眼睛眯成一条缝。“看不见,长官,”他说,“但我听见它在唱歌。”
他得到了那份工作。
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
His father was surprised.
"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"
"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.
"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"
"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you . "
"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
"Yes, I know, Dad, " Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "
汤姆讨厌上学,总是找借口不去上学。
如果他打喷嚏,他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。
如果他头痛,他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病。
他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多。
在他的确去上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家。
一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了。
他爸爸很惊讶。
“你回来很早,”他爸爸问,“今天学校放学了吗?”
“没有,爸爸,”汤姆说,“还没放学。我提前回来了。”
“你怎么会提前回来了?”爸爸问,“你对老师说什么了?”
“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟,我得回家帮你。”
“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎,”爸爸说,“一个男孩,一个女孩。你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。”
“是的,我知道,爸爸,”汤姆说,“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松英语趣味小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.
"What's in here?" he asked.
"Dirt," the driver replied.
"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."
Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.
A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.
"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.
"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.
Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.
The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."
Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."
一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。
“里面装的是什么?”他问道。
“土。”司机回答。
“把袋子拿出来”,哨兵命令道:“我要检查。”
那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实,口袋里除了土以外,别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。
一周后,那人又来了,哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。
“这次袋子里装的是什么?”他问道。
“土,又运了一些土。”那人回答。
哨兵不相信,对那些袋子又进行了检查,结果发现,除了土以外,仍旧一无所获。
同样的事情每周重演一次,一共持续了六个月。最后,哨兵被弄得灰心丧气,干脆辞职去当了酒吧 侍者。有天夜里,那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧,下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说,“我说,老兄,你要是能帮我一个忙,今晚的酒就归我请客。 你能不能告诉我,那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”
那人俯身过来,凑近侍者的耳朵,裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说:“汽车。”
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