为您找到与英语笑话及翻译相关的共200个结果：
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来三年级英语幽默小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers，begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long，straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样，我刚学会开车时，总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时，我经过请求，爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸，直到开到了一个急转弯，由于转盘转动得太大，车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。我停下了车，等着挨训。
My father，always considerate of his children's feelings，turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪，转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿，有人想上厕所吗?”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding，one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said，”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day，”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久，我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾，那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了，免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed，"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何，你那天穿的是什么?’，
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom，"and a good thing，too，as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是，我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no，“said Mom，"you know how it is，a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them，so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢，没有，”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着，许多人只是来看热闹，你从他们身上是分文也得不到的，所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed，and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿，爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下，我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱，也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译，希望大家喜欢!
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention，passengers. We have lost one of our engines，but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately， we will arrive an hour late as a result. "
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时，喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意，我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter，the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what，folks. We just lost our third engine，but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "
过了一会儿，旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位，你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了，有一个引擎我们也能飞，但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point，one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted，"If we lose another engine，we'll be up here all night !"
正在这时，一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止，如果我们再掉一个引拿，我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语笑话幽默带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you，”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that，the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There，in the circle of light，sat a parrot.
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步，那个声音又说:“我看见你了，圣人也看见你了。”听到声音，窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿，一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“该死的鸟，”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
"I see you，”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
"Shut up，“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp， that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch，staring at him with glittering eyes.
“闭嘴，”窃贼边开灯，边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
" Sic' em，Saint,"squawked the parrot.
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人，扑呀!扑呀!”
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman，the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral，but he told his brothers to spare no expense，since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商，另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时，有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们，不要舍不得花钱，一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter，the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director，which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense，“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style，we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久，做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票，他付了帐。从这以后，他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇，于是就写信给其兄弟，想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗，所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out，she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
当听说我72岁的母亲居然开着12年的旧车行驶了900英里来看我时，我真有些吃惊。在我问她是如何做的时候，她告诉我她一切都好，只是到了第二天晚上，给汽车加油后却没有住旅馆的钱。
"What did you do?"I asked.
“那你怎么办了?”我问道。
" Well，"she began，“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no，he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road，I explained my situation,’‘Follow me，”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
她说:“嗨，我开到这个镇子时，感到很困，一位警寨叫住了我。他问我是否喝了酒，我说没喝。警察问我为什么开车在路上打晃晃。于是我解释了我的情况。他命令道:“跟我走。”就这样，我们就开到了一个汽车旅馆。警察替我付了住店费。
"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am，the next time you have to visit your daughter，please take another route.'”
妈妈接着说:“他离开时，转过身，冲着我说:‘夫人，你下次要看儿女时，请走另一条路线吧!’”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house，doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not，maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去，无所事是，为了使老婆高兴，他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上，我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说，没有的话，下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour，the doctor woke hirn up and said，"That will be all for today—$100，please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上，很快就入睡了。到了一小时，大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧，请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了，从此，那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次，他总是一句话也不说，光是睡觉，而且每次都付钱。第三周，病人来后坐下，然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time，he fell asleep without saying a word，but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in，sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,"， marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道，“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes，do you need a partner ?"
“是的，你需要一个助手吗?”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来五年级英语笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
We had invited our friends Bob and Sheila to a special dinner. While my wife，Lee，prepared the meal，I rushed out to buy just the right wine.
我们邀请了朋友鲍博和舍拉来吃晚饭。趁妻子在做饭时，我买了一瓶佐餐葡萄酒。
Everything seemed perfect as we sat down at the dinner table，until I noticed that the ice bucket held an inferior wine.“Honey，“I said，”please bring out the bottle I purchased tonight. Bob and Sheila deserve better than this.“
大家就座了，一切都那么满意，直到我发现放好冰块的酒是一种劣质酒.“亲爱的，”我喊道，“请把我今晚买的酒拿出来。鲍博和舍拉应该喝比这种好的酒。”
"Dear,"Lee replied quietly, "Bob brought the wine.”
“亲爱的，”妻子平静地说:“这酒是鲍博买的。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学生英语幽默笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
While carpenters were working outside the old house I had just bought，I busied myself with indoor cleaning. I had just finished washing the floor when one of the workmen asked to use the bathroom. With dismay I looked from his muddy boots to my newly scrubbed floors. "Just a minute，”
I said，thinking of a quick solution. "I'll put down newspapers. "
木匠工人在我刚买的房子外边干活，我忙着房内的清洁工作。就在我刚擦完地板时，一位工人进来要求用一下洗手间，我看了看他的脏靴子，又看了看新擦的地板，说道:“等一会儿，”我边说边考虑对策。“让我先在地上铺层报纸吧。”
" That's all right，lady，”he responded.”I'rn already trained. "
“没关来的，太太，”他回答说:“我己受过训练了。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语的幽默笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport，I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted That it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur.“I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds，"she said.
在亚特兰大国际机场等行李时，我注意到一名政府官员带着一条狗。那条狗对所有到来的旅客的物品嗅来嗅去，以防止毒品入境。站在我旁边的妇女也注意到了这条在工作的狗是一条长毛的杂种狗.她说:“我觉得那条警犬可能是条德国的牧羊狗。”
Overhearing her comment，the agent replied,“He is， but he's working undercover.”
那名政府官员听到了这句话，回答说:“它确实是牧羊狗，但是它在做侦探工作.”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英语小笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Whenever I drove my old car over 55 miles per hour, it vibrated terribly, so I decided to sell it. My first customer wanted to buy the car，and I battled with my conscience over whether or not to tell him of the vehicle's problem. Finally I did the right thing. Expecting him to drop the deal，I was surprised by his reply.
每当我开车的速度超过55英里时，我那辆旧车就开始剧烈地抖动，所以我决定把它卖掉。当第一位买主来看车时，我犹豫该不该告诉他这车的毛病。最后，我还是决定说实话。我
原以为这下这笔买卖就完了，可是，他的回答却使我吃了一惊。
"That's okay，”he said.”I'm buying this car for my daughter. If she complains about a vibration，I' 11 know she is driving too fast."
“这没什么关来，”他说:“我是在替女儿买车。如果她一旦艳怨车子扦动的事，我就会知道她一定开了快车。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默笑话精选带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
An aunt of mine kept a hat by her front door，and whenever the doorbell rang，she would put it on. If it was someone she wished to see,she would remark how lucky it was that she had just come in. If it was someone ahe wanted to avoid .she would say how sorry she was，but she was just going out.
我有个姑妈，她总是在前门旁准备一顶帽子。一旦有人按门铃，她就把那顶帽子戴上。如果来的是她喜欢的客人，她就说真是太巧了，她刚外出回来。如果来的是她不想见的客人，她就说对不起，我正要外出。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语笑话轻松学带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
After 20 years as a pilot，I became an airport manager and soon found the stress was getting to me. I needed a release and wanted to buy a motorcycle，but my family thought it was too dangerous. My wife said，”Why don't you start flying again?"
开了20多年的飞机后，我被提升为机场经理。但不久我就感到了这项工作的压力。为了放松一下，我想买辆摩托车骑。可家里人说那太危险。我妻子还说:“你为什么不继续去开飞机?”
The next day，as I showed a businessman around the airport，he looked longingly at the planes. "I used to take flying lessons，but my wife made me quit," he lamented."She said it was dangerous.”
第二天，我陪同一个商人参观机场，他紧紧地盯着那些飞机说:“我曾上过飞机课，但我妻子却让我放弃它。”那商人愤愤地说:“她说那太危险。”
"Tell her you want to get a motorcycle，"I advised. My new-found friend now has his pilot's license.
“那你就跟她说你想开摩托车。”我建议他。现在，我这位新结识的朋友已取得了飞机驾驶执照。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式，下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译，希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演，幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说，她希望演员们个子再高点就好了，这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式，下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and，to my dismay，Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午，当我和一位教授谈话时，我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课，使我惊愕的是，莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady，”he said，“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time，not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时，讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人，”他说，“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”，在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year，his history professor failed him in his examinations，and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However，his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy，"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说，“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
"No，no，that’s quite impossible，"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know，last month I asked him when Napoleon had died，he didn't know”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答，“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说，“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松，想放松一下心情的话，那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100，000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it，so he decided not to return with others，but took a later plane home，arriving back at 3 am.
周末，有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道，所以他决定不和别人一起回去，他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家，到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园，挖了一个洞，把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house，dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door，which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol，the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨，他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里，那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上，还住着一位教授，他懂得手语，是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气，他带了一把手枪，把教授叫醒，然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000，I’m going to kill him，”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend，and his friend replied in sign language，“I hid in my backyard，under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元，我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said，“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松，想放松一下心情的话，那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now，children，"said she，"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please，teacher:said a small boy，:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please，teacher，I went to see her yesterday，and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her，‘Granny, I’m going home’，and she said，‘Well，I'm glad!’”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说:‘啊，我很高兴!’”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的，”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean，”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思，”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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想边看英语笑话边学英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语小笑话图片带翻译，欢迎大家阅读学习!
Can I take the last piece of cake?
我可以拿走最后一块蛋糕吗?
The moment it gets real tense at the Apocalypse
那一刻才是世界末日真正的紧张
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