为您找到与英语故事短文搞笑幽默相关的共200个结果:
学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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一些幽默的英语对话,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些两人英语幽默对话,希望大家会细化你这些幽默英语。
I Wasn't Asleep
When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"
"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.
"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."
"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car."
我没有睡着
当一群妇女上车之后,车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了,他担心这个人会坐过站,就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他,说:“先生,醒醒!”
“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。
“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”
“我知道,我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, Mr.Tomposon and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.
英格兰,不满18岁是不允许到酒馆喝酒的,一天汤普森在他儿子18岁生日那天,带着他去了酒馆。
A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.
爸爸,你太严格了,以前你从不带我来这里。
B:Because you were not old enough.
因为你还不够大。
A:I see.
我知道。
(After half an hour.半小时以后。)
B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.
汤姆,现在我给你上一课。你必须注意永远不要喝得过多。
A:Can I know when I have had enough?
我怎么才能知道我喝够了呢?
B:Well,I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.
听着,你看见酒馆那头的两盏灯了吗?当那儿的灯变成四盏的时候,你就喝够了,该回家了。
A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.
可是,爸爸,我只看见那儿有一盏灯呀。
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语小故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
Whenever my husband, Ben, does minor work on the car,he invites our six-year-old grandson, Jake,to help.
每当我丈夫贪,给汽车进行大检修时,他总是叫我们六岁的孙子杰克来帮助.
One day,Jake's Daddy asked him, "What does Grandpa pay you for all that help you give him?"
有一天,杰克的爸爸问他:“你帮爷爷干了那么多的活,他给了你点什么?”
Hands on hips,Jake Looked at his Daddy in the eye and replied,"Grandpa pays me attention.”
杰克双手放在屁股上,紧盯着爸爸的眼睛,回答说:“爷爷给了我足够的重视.”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来轻松一刻英语幽默故事,希望大家喜欢!
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂, 先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home
earlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It's me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”
一天,放学以后,老师对他的学生们说:“明天上午,如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题,我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天,老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟,他非常生气的问:“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说:“先生,是我,现在我可以回家了,再见!”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说:“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说,它不够好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会,然后说:“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用,我想你若接受了我的小说,就可以留下邮票啦。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中幽默英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter Melissa, wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and, to my dismay, Melissa sat down in the front row.
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady," he said, "I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. Not once in that time has anyone come to my class just because he or she wanted to. The child may stay."
一天下午,在我和一位教授说话的时候,我两岁的女儿玛丽莎转到了附近的一个教室里。那儿正在上数学课。更糟的是玛丽莎还居然坐在了前排的座位上。
当我走进去想把她抱出来时,上课的教授拦住了我。她说:“这位女士,我在这所大学里已经教了20多年的微积分。在这期间从未有人是出于自愿来到我的课堂,这个孩子可以呆在这里。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A cop pulled a car over on the highway for speeding.
警察在高速上拦下一辆超速的车。
When he asked for the driver's license, the driver argued, "Speeding? But officer, I was only trying to keep a safe distance between my car and the car in back of me."
当他要驾驶员的驾照时,驾驶员辩称,“超速,但是警官,我刚才只是想和我后边的车保持安全距离。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
母亲:弗雷迪,你的脸怎么是红的?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止打架。
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
母亲:这件事做得棒。谁和谁在大家呢?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
弗雷迪:我和杰基·史密斯。
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些幽默简单英语小故事给大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语故事!
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
艾伦在城市里的一家公司上班。他工作非常辛苦,他期盼着假期。
He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices."
他经常去海边度假,但是有一年他在报纸上看到了一则广告:“享受乡村生活。在唯利屋农场度假数周,可享受:美味佳肴、新鲜空气、骑马、散步、垂钓。价格便宜!”
"This sounds like a good idea." he thought, "I'll spend a month at Willow Farm. I'll enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They'll make a change from sitting by the seaside."
“这听起来真是一个好主意。”他想,“我要在唯利屋农场度假一个月。我要享受骑马,散步和垂钓的乐趣。这将带来和坐在海边不一样的情趣。”
Four days later he returned home.
四天后他回来了。
"What's wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. "Didn't you enjoy country life?"
“唯利屋农场怎么了?”他的朋友问道。“难道乡村生活无趣吗?”
"Country life was fine," Alan said. "But there was another problem."
“乡村生活倒是挺好的,”艾伦说。“但是有另一个问题。”
"Oh, what?"
“噢,是什么呢?”
"Well, the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast lamb for dinner."
“喔,在那里的第一天,一头羊死了,我们的晚餐是烤羊肉。”
"Fresh meat is the best."
“新鲜肉类真不错。”
"I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner."
“我知道,但是第二天一头牛死了,我们的晚餐时烤牛肉。”
"Lucky you!"
“真幸运!”
"You don't understand," Alan said. "On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner."
“你不知道,”艾伦说。“第三天一头猪死了,我们的晚餐时烤猪肉。”
"A different roast every day." Jack exclaimed.
“每天都有不同的烤肉。”杰克感叹道。
"Let me finish," Alan said. "On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn't dare stay for dinner!"
“让我说完,”艾伦说道。“第四天农夫死了,我不敢留下了吃晚餐!”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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当压力大山大时,阅读英语笑话不失为一种很好的减压方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默减压英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。教授有点不悦,对他说道:“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。”
"Yes,”said Landon,"he couldn’t help it,for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样。教授先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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