为您找到与幽默风趣的英语故事相关的共202个结果:
幽默故事,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来风趣幽默的英语故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜,一名警察去一个经常有人闹事的酒吧门口巡逻,为了避免有酒后驾车的情况发生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了,他看见一个家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出来,一下摔在路边,随后又用钥匙试着开了五辆车的门才找到他自己的车。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐进车里,好几分钟他又都是在摸着那些钥匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
这时人们都从酒吧出来并且开车走了。最后他也发动了车子准备开走,
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已经等这个机会很久了,他打开灯,把司机从车里拉出来,给他宣读了他所享有的法定权利,然后作了酒精的测试。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
测试的结果是零,
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察问他是为什么,
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司机说:“今晚他们派我当诱饵。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, Mr.Tomposon and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.
英格兰,不满18岁是不允许到酒馆喝酒的,一天汤普森在他儿子18岁生日那天,带着他去了酒馆。
A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.
爸爸,你太严格了,以前你从不带我来这里。
B:Because you were not old enough.
因为你还不够大。
A:I see.
我知道。
(After half an hour.半小时以后。)
B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.
汤姆,现在我给你上一课。你必须注意永远不要喝得过多。
A:Can I know when I have had enough?
我怎么才能知道我喝够了呢?
B:Well,I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.
听着,你看见酒馆那头的两盏灯了吗?当那儿的灯变成四盏的时候,你就喝够了,该回家了。
A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.
可是,爸爸,我只看见那儿有一盏灯呀。
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman,the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral,but he told his brothers to spare no expense,since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商,另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时,有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们,不要舍不得花钱,一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter,the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director,which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense,“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style,we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久,做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票,他付了帐。从这以后,他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇,于是就写信给其兄弟,想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗,所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语小故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
Whenever my husband, Ben, does minor work on the car,he invites our six-year-old grandson, Jake,to help.
每当我丈夫贪,给汽车进行大检修时,他总是叫我们六岁的孙子杰克来帮助.
One day,Jake's Daddy asked him, "What does Grandpa pay you for all that help you give him?"
有一天,杰克的爸爸问他:“你帮爷爷干了那么多的活,他给了你点什么?”
Hands on hips,Jake Looked at his Daddy in the eye and replied,"Grandpa pays me attention.”
杰克双手放在屁股上,紧盯着爸爸的眼睛,回答说:“爷爷给了我足够的重视.”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来轻松一刻英语幽默故事,希望大家喜欢!
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂, 先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
Tony just finished the training at the Macdolod.
Tony刚结束在当地的麦当劳餐厅的培训。
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time . his first customer ordered a milkshake
当他第一次站在收银台后工作时他不免有点紧张。他的第一位顾客点了一分奶昔。
" tony , " his manager said , " remember to say ' welcome to mcdonald ' s ' to each customer before they order .
经理说, “记得在客人点餐前要说‘欢迎光临麦当劳’ 。 ”
第二位顾客要了一份芝士汉堡。这一回,经理又走近Tony,说:“记得问每位客人是否要薯条配餐。”
这时,一个戴着滑雪面罩的男子走进餐厅,他走到收银台钱,用枪指着Tony的脑袋说:“把钱全拿出来!”
Tony看了一眼经理,想了下,迅速回答:“请问您是要堂食还是外带?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默风趣英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Mr.Brown lives in a small town, but then he gets a job in a big city and moves there with hiswife and his two children. On the first Sunday in their new home, Brown takes his new car out of the garage and washes it. A neighbor comes by. When he sees Brown's new car, the neighbor stops and looks at it for a minute. Then Brown turns and sees him.
The neighbor says, "That's a nice car. Is it yours?" "Sometimes." Brown answers.
The neighbor is surprised. "Sometimes?" he says. "What do you mean?"
"Well," answers Brown slowly, "When there is a party in the town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there is a football game somewhere, it belongs to my son, Joe. When I've washes it, and it is really nice and clean, then it belongs to my wife. And when it needsgas, it's mine."
布朗先生居住在一个小城镇里,但后来在城里找到了工作并和他的妻子,两个孩子搬到了城里。在他搬到新家的第一个星期天,布朗先生把他的小汽车从车库里开出来进行冲洗。一位邻居经过。当他看见布朗先生洗车是,这位邻居停下来看了一会儿。接着布朗先生转过身看见了他。
邻居说:“这辆车真漂亮,是你的吗?”“有时候是。”布朗先生回答。
这位邻居很吃惊。“有时?”他说:“什么意思?”
“哦,”布朗先生慢慢地说:”当城镇有聚会时,它属于我的女儿——简。当哪里有足球赛是,就属于我的儿子——乔。当我洗刷好湖,车看起来确实干净漂亮,它就属于我妻子。当需要汽油时,它这时就属于我了。“
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默风趣英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A sailor was the only survivor of the shipwreck.
He had to stay on a desert island for three years.
One day he was very pleased to find a ship anchored in the day. When a small boat cameashore, an officer handed him a bunch of newspaper and said, "The captain suggests you read what's going on the world, and then tell us if you want to be rescued."
一个水手是船只失事后唯一的幸存者。
他不得不在一个荒岛上待了三年。
有一天他非常高兴地看到一艘大船停泊在海湾了。有一只小艇驶到岸边来,一个军官把一捆报纸递给他,对他说:“船长建议你看看这些报纸,了解世情后再告诉我们,你想不想被解救。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home
earlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It's me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”
一天,放学以后,老师对他的学生们说:“明天上午,如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题,我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天,老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟,他非常生气的问:“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说:“先生,是我,现在我可以回家了,再见!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英语幽默小故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A man told his son to take a letter to the post office, buy a three-cent stamp and mail it.
After a while his son returned. The man asked him, "Did you mail the letter?"
His son replied, "Certainly, and I have saved the three cents. I saw many people dropping letters in a box, so when nobody was looking, I dropped mine in too."
有个人叫他的儿子拿一封信到邮局去买一张三分钱的邮票把它寄出去。
过了一会儿他的儿子回来了,他问儿子:“信寄了吗?”
儿子回答说:“当然寄了,我还省了三分钱哩。我看到很多人把信投进了一个箱子,我就趁没人的时候把我的也投进去了。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说:“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说,它不够好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会,然后说:“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用,我想你若接受了我的小说,就可以留下邮票啦。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中幽默英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter Melissa, wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and, to my dismay, Melissa sat down in the front row.
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady," he said, "I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. Not once in that time has anyone come to my class just because he or she wanted to. The child may stay."
一天下午,在我和一位教授说话的时候,我两岁的女儿玛丽莎转到了附近的一个教室里。那儿正在上数学课。更糟的是玛丽莎还居然坐在了前排的座位上。
当我走进去想把她抱出来时,上课的教授拦住了我。她说:“这位女士,我在这所大学里已经教了20多年的微积分。在这期间从未有人是出于自愿来到我的课堂,这个孩子可以呆在这里。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
母亲:弗雷迪,你的脸怎么是红的?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止打架。
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
母亲:这件事做得棒。谁和谁在大家呢?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
弗雷迪:我和杰基·史密斯。
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当压力大山大时,阅读英语笑话不失为一种很好的减压方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默减压英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。教授有点不悦,对他说道:“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。”
"Yes,”said Landon,"he couldn’t help it,for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样。教授先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”
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考研英语2024备考复习技巧
考研英语分为英语一,英语二。考研英语一和英语二的题型都有英语知识运用、阅读理解和写作。以下是小编为大家收集的关于考研英语2024备考复习技巧的相关内容,供大家参考!
1、考研英语二的总考试时长是180分钟。
2、第一部分的20个选择题,可以安排20分钟。
3、第二部分的A节安排75分钟,B节安排25分钟。预计总时长是100分钟。
4、第三部分的英译汉,安排20分钟。
5、第四部分的Part A安排15分钟,Part B安排25分钟。预计总时长是40分钟。
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硕士研究生考研英语完型填空题及答案(2024)
为了让考研的同学更高效地复习考研英语,小编考研频道已经整理出了2024年考研英语完型填空试题和答案。如果你正在准备考研,不妨了解一下这些资料,希望它们能对你的备考有所帮助。
考研的考场分配根据考生的所在地以及报考学校等进行安排,在职人员考研时,考场一般都会分配在户籍所在地或工作单位所在地。
考研报考同一学校的考生理论上是分配在一个考点,甚至是同一考场的。考研报考同一学校的相同专业和不同专业是一起考试的。因为考研的考点、考场分配是实行统一管理,采取统一分配的原则,便于管理。
考研考场还有另外的分配方法,是划分考研的考场、考点时先按照各省、各市进行统一划分,然后是按照学校进行划分,再次是按照专业进行划分。
总之就是考研考场怎么分配对于考生的影响不大,考生只需要按照准考证所指示的前往指定考点进行考试即可,并且携带相关证件。
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