为您找到与幽默的英语故事相关的共200个结果:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
On their first evening in their new home the bride went in to the kitchen to fix drinks. Five minutes later she came back into the living一room in tears.
在他们成家的头一天晚上,新娘子到厨房去弄点喝的。五分钟后她哭春回到了起居室。
"What’s the matter, my angel'?" asked her husband anxiously.
“我的天使,你怎么了?”丈夫着急地问。
"Oh,Derek!” she sobbed. "I put the ice一cubes in hot water to wash them and now they've disappeared!”
“噢,得里克!”她哭着说,“我把冰块放在热水里洗一洗,可现在它们不见了。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
In England nobody under the age of eighteen is allowed to drink in a public bar. One day, Mr.Tomposon and his son who had his eigh-teenth birthday go to a public bar.
英格兰,不满18岁是不允许到酒馆喝酒的,一天汤普森在他儿子18岁生日那天,带着他去了酒馆。
A:You are so strict that you never took me here before, Daddy.
爸爸,你太严格了,以前你从不带我来这里。
B:Because you were not old enough.
因为你还不够大。
A:I see.
我知道。
(After half an hour.半小时以后。)
B:Now, Tom,1 want to teach you a useful lesson. You must alway s be careful not to drink too much.
汤姆,现在我给你上一课。你必须注意永远不要喝得过多。
A:Can I know when I have had enough?
我怎么才能知道我喝够了呢?
B:Well,I'll tell you.Do you see those two lights at the end o fthe bar?When they seem to have become four, you've had enough and should go home.
听着,你看见酒馆那头的两盏灯了吗?当那儿的灯变成四盏的时候,你就喝够了,该回家了。
A:But Dad,I can only see one light at the end of the bar.
可是,爸爸,我只看见那儿有一盏灯呀。
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默生活英语笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
The teacher arranges to write an article concerning weekend,but Shigemitsu cannot write it up. His classmate Shiratori says: It will do to write out what happened to you on the weekend .Shigemitsu says:I drank the wine on weekend.“ Simple一minded,substitute the study for the drinking."Thus the teacher reads the following composition-I read a half of a book at a stretch on Saturdays evening,after a rest,might as well read the second half,too.But I still wanna read more,I have to buy another book. On the road I meet Shiratori,judging by his red eyes,knowing that he must have read not a few.
老师布置写一篇有关周末的文章,重光葵写不出。他的同学白鸟敏夫说:“把周末发生在你身上的事写出来就是啦。”重光葵说:“周末我喝酒了。”“死心眼,把喝酒改成读书。”于是老师看到了重光葵的这篇作文一星期六的晚上我一口气读了半本书,歇了歇,索性把后半本也读了。可是我还想读,便又买了一本。路上遇到了白鸟敏夫,一瞧他的眼睛,便知他也读了不少。
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman,the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral,but he told his brothers to spare no expense,since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商,另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时,有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们,不要舍不得花钱,一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter,the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director,which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense,“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style,we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久,做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票,他付了帐。从这以后,他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇,于是就写信给其兄弟,想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗,所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些经典幽默英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“Then,” Mother asks.
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”
故事2 十块糖
妈妈问儿子:“吉姆, 如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?” “10块。”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语小故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
Whenever my husband, Ben, does minor work on the car,he invites our six-year-old grandson, Jake,to help.
每当我丈夫贪,给汽车进行大检修时,他总是叫我们六岁的孙子杰克来帮助.
One day,Jake's Daddy asked him, "What does Grandpa pay you for all that help you give him?"
有一天,杰克的爸爸问他:“你帮爷爷干了那么多的活,他给了你点什么?”
Hands on hips,Jake Looked at his Daddy in the eye and replied,"Grandpa pays me attention.”
杰克双手放在屁股上,紧盯着爸爸的眼睛,回答说:“爷爷给了我足够的重视.”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来轻松一刻英语幽默故事,希望大家喜欢!
If there are any idiots in the room,will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher .
喜爱挖苦人的老师说:“如果在这间教室里面有白痴,就请站起来好吗?”。
After a long silence,one rreshman rose to his feet,
沉默了很久之后,有一名新生就站起来了。
"Now then mister ,why do you consider yourself an idiot? "enquired the teacher with a sneer.
老师就以讥笑的口气问他:“喂, 先生,你为什么认为你自己是个白痴呀?”
"Well ,actually I don't,"said the student ,"but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
这名学生说:“ 唉呀,实际上我才不认为我是个白痴呢,而是我很讨厌看着你一个人站在那里啦。”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
Tony just finished the training at the Macdolod.
Tony刚结束在当地的麦当劳餐厅的培训。
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time . his first customer ordered a milkshake
当他第一次站在收银台后工作时他不免有点紧张。他的第一位顾客点了一分奶昔。
" tony , " his manager said , " remember to say ' welcome to mcdonald ' s ' to each customer before they order .
经理说, “记得在客人点餐前要说‘欢迎光临麦当劳’ 。 ”
第二位顾客要了一份芝士汉堡。这一回,经理又走近Tony,说:“记得问每位客人是否要薯条配餐。”
这时,一个戴着滑雪面罩的男子走进餐厅,他走到收银台钱,用枪指着Tony的脑袋说:“把钱全拿出来!”
Tony看了一眼经理,想了下,迅速回答:“请问您是要堂食还是外带?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选英语幽默故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Mrs Williams lived in a small street in London, and now she had a new neighbour.
Her name was Mrs Briggs, and she talked a lot about her expensive furniture, her beautiful carpets and her new kitchen.
"Do you know," she said to Mrs Williams one day, "I've got a new dishwasher. It washes the plates and glasses and knives and forks beautifully."
"Oh? " Mrs Williams answered." And does it dry them and put them in the cupboard, too ?"
Mrs Briggs was surprised. "Well," she answered, "the things in the machine are dry after an hour, but it doesn't put them away, of course."
"I've had a dishwasher for twelve and a half years," Mrs Williams said.
"Oh?" Mrs Briggs answered, "And does yours put the things in the cupboard when it has washed them?"
She laughed nastily. "Yes, he does," Mrs Williams answered."He dries the dishes and puts them away."
威廉姆斯太太住在伦敦的的一条小街上,现在她有了一位新邻居。
这邻居叫布里格斯太太,她对她的高档家具,漂亮地毯和新厨房谈论很多。
“你知道吗?” 有一天她对威廉姆斯太太说道:“我有一台新洗碗机。它洗盘子、杯子和刀叉洗得非常好。”
“哦?”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“它能弄干盘子、杯子和刀叉吗?还可以把它们放进碗柜吗?”
布里格斯太太很吃惊。“ 嗯,”她回答说,“洗碗机里的盘子、杯子和刀叉一小时后就干了,但当然啰,洗碗机不能把它们收起来。”
威廉姆斯太太说:“我有一台洗碗机已经12年半了。”
“哦?”布里格斯太太回答说,“你的洗碗机在洗完盘子、杯子和刀叉后能把它们放进碗柜吗?”她不怀好意地大笑起来。
“是的,他可以。”威廉姆斯太太回答说,“他把碗盘刀叉弄干后就把它们收起来。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home
earlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It's me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”
一天,放学以后,老师对他的学生们说:“明天上午,如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题,我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天,老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟,他非常生气的问:“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说:“先生,是我,现在我可以回家了,再见!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英语幽默小故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A man told his son to take a letter to the post office, buy a three-cent stamp and mail it.
After a while his son returned. The man asked him, "Did you mail the letter?"
His son replied, "Certainly, and I have saved the three cents. I saw many people dropping letters in a box, so when nobody was looking, I dropped mine in too."
有个人叫他的儿子拿一封信到邮局去买一张三分钱的邮票把它寄出去。
过了一会儿他的儿子回来了,他问儿子:“信寄了吗?”
儿子回答说:“当然寄了,我还省了三分钱哩。我看到很多人把信投进了一个箱子,我就趁没人的时候把我的也投进去了。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说:“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说,它不够好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会,然后说:“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用,我想你若接受了我的小说,就可以留下邮票啦。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中幽默英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter Melissa, wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and, to my dismay, Melissa sat down in the front row.
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady," he said, "I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. Not once in that time has anyone come to my class just because he or she wanted to. The child may stay."
一天下午,在我和一位教授说话的时候,我两岁的女儿玛丽莎转到了附近的一个教室里。那儿正在上数学课。更糟的是玛丽莎还居然坐在了前排的座位上。
当我走进去想把她抱出来时,上课的教授拦住了我。她说:“这位女士,我在这所大学里已经教了20多年的微积分。在这期间从未有人是出于自愿来到我的课堂,这个孩子可以呆在这里。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
母亲:弗雷迪,你的脸怎么是红的?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止打架。
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
母亲:这件事做得棒。谁和谁在大家呢?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
弗雷迪:我和杰基·史密斯。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
"You will be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it."
“今天你一定会对我感到满意的,妈妈。”从学校回来的迪克对妈妈说。“我把车费省下来了。我上学没有坐公交车,我跟着公交车一路跑到学校去的。”
"Well," said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more."
“哦,”他的妈妈笑道,“下次你要跟着出租车跑,那样你会省下更多。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看医生:“医生,我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题,只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上,我在这里已经放了20多个屁,但是你并不知道对吧,因为我的屁不臭,而且还没声音。”医生说:“好的,我明白了。吃这个药片,一天三次连续吃七天,下星期你再来。”一星期后老太太来了,“医生,你到底给的我什么药,现在我放屁还是没声音,但是怎么这么臭!”医生说:“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了,现在开始治听觉。”
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当压力大山大时,阅读英语笑话不失为一种很好的减压方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默减压英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。教授有点不悦,对他说道:“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。”
"Yes,”said Landon,"he couldn’t help it,for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样。教授先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”
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