为您找到与外国幽默笑话相关的共200个结果:
下面是读文网小编整理的外国英语幽默笑话精粹,欢迎大家阅读!
Son: Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?
儿子:妈妈,如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶,你会怎么办?
Mum: I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!
妈妈:我要揍他,还不让他吃晚饭就去睡觉!
Son: Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !
儿子:好了,你准备好拖鞋吧,爸爸刚把那只花瓶摔碎了。
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Henry was from the United States and he had come to London for a holiday.
亨利是个美国人,他到伦敦来度假。
One day he was not feeling well, so he went to the clerk at the desk of his hotel and said,"I want to see doctor. Can you give me the name of a good one?"
有一天他感到身体不舒服,于是走到旅馆服务台对服务员说:“我想看病,你能给我推荐一位好医生吗?”
The clerk looked in a book and then said , "Dr. Kenneth Grey , 61010."
服务员查阅了一下本子,然后说:“肯尼思·格雷医生,61010。"
Henry said,"Thank yon very much. Is he expensive?"
亨利说:“非常感谢,他收费贵吗?”
"Well, "the clerk answered, "he always charges his patients two pounds for their first visit to him, and one pound and 50 pennies for later visits."
“喔,”服务员回答说:“他对初诊患者收费两英镑,复诊收费一点五英镑。”
Henry decided to save 50 pennies, so when he went to see the doctor, he said,"I've come again,doctor."
亨利想节省五十便士,所以他去看病时对医生说:“我又来了,医生。”
For a few seconds the doctor looked at his face carefully without saying anything.
医生仔细端详着他的面孔,几秒钟没说话。
Then he nodded and said,"Oh,yes. "He examined him and then said, "Everything's going as it should do. Just continue with the medicine I gave you last time."
然后点点头说:“哦,是的。”给他做完检查以后,医生说:“病情发展正常。继续服用上次我给你开的药吧。”
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Annie: Mum,do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?
安妮: 妈妈,你知道你过生日我会送你什么礼物吗?
Mum: No,dear,what is it?
妈妈: 亲爱的,我猜不出来,是什么东西呀?
Annie: A nice teapot.
安妮: 一个漂亮的茶壶。
Mum: But I’ve got a nice teapot.
妈妈: 可我有一个很好的茶壶了。
Annie: No, you haven'l. I've just dropped it!
安妮: 不,你没有。我刚把它掉在地上摔破了。
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Student A: When do people talk least?
学生甲: 人们在什么时候说话最少?
Student B: In February.
学生乙: 在二月。
Student A: Why?
学生甲: 为什么呢?
Student B: Because February is the shortest month of a year.
学生乙: 因为二月是一年中最短的一个月。
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
An older lady gets undressed and starts to get into the bathtub. She gets about halfway into the tub and thinks, "Was I getting into the tub or getting out?”
一个上了年纪的女人脱了衣服准备去洗澡。她刚把一只脚迈进浴缸就想:我是打算进去呢?还是正要出去?
She calls out, "Bernice! Was I getting into the bathtub or getting out?"
她大声喊:“伯尼斯!我这是正要去洗澡还是打算要出来呢?”
Bernice says, "Well I don’t know. I' 11 have to come up and look.” Bernice starts walking up the stairs to the bathroom, gets halfway up and thinks to herself, “Was I going up the stairs or down? " She calls out "Sally! Was I going up or down the stairs?”
伯尼斯说:“我不知道,我这就上去看看。”伯尼斯开始往楼上的浴室走,走到一半时想到:我这是要上楼呢还是下楼?她大喊:“莎莉!我这是要上楼呢还是要下楼呢?”
Sally, who is just being with Bernice down in the living room calls back,“How should I know?” and thinks to herself, “I' m glad I’m not losing my mind like the other people in this house.”
刚还和伯尼斯在楼下客厅里的莎莉喊:“我怎么知道?”她自己想:我真的很高兴我不像这个屋子里的其它人一样没记性。
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
For a long time Dr. Smith had wanted to get a better job in a certain big modern hospital, and at last he was successful. He was appointed to a particular position, which he wanted,and his wife moved to the house, which they were now to live in. The next day some beautiful flowers were sent to them, with a note,which said,"Deepest sympathy". Naturally,Dr. Smith was angry to receive such an unusual note, and telephoned the shop which had sent the flowers to find what the note meant.
很长时间以来,史密斯先生一直想在一家现代化的大医院找到一份较好的工作,最后他如愿以偿了。他得到了他所想要的一个重要职位,他和他妻子也搬进了他们现在的房子。第二天,他让花店送来了一些美丽的鲜花,上面有一张条子,写道:“最深切的吊慰。”很显然,史密斯先生对接到这样一张条子感到非常气愤,他立刻打电话给送花店的老板问那张条子是什么意思。
When the owner of the shop heard what had happened, he apologized to Dr. Smith for having made the mistake.
商店的老板听到所发生的事情之后,对于他们所造成的错误对史密斯先生表示歉意。
"But what really worried me much more," he added , "is that flowers which ought to have gone to you were sent to a person who had just died, with a card which said, Congratulations on your new position."
“可真正让我更为担心的是”,老板补充道,“应该给你送去的鲜花却被送给了一个刚去世的人,鲜花上的条子写着:祝您高升。”
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
A man walks along a lonely beach. Suddenly he hears a deep voice: DIG!
一个男人孤独的在海滩上散步。突然他听到一个低沉的声音:“挖!”
He looks around: nobody's there. I am having hallucinations, he thinks. Then he hears the voice again: I SAID, DIG!
他环顾周围一个人都没有。他认为他一定是产生了幻觉。然后,他又听到了那个声音:“我说,挖!”
So he starts to dig in the sand with his bare hands,and after some inches, he finds a small chest with a rusty lock.
于是,他开始用双手在沙地上挖,挖了几英寸后他发现了一个小箱子,上面还有一把生锈的锁。
The deep voice says: OPEN!
那个低沉的声音说:“打开!”
0k,the man thinks, let’s open the thing. He finds a rock with which to destroy the lock , and when the chest is finally open , he sees a lot of gold coins.
那个男人决定把那个箱子打开。他找到一块石头敲开了锁。当箱子打开时他看到里面全是金币。
The deep voice says: TO THE CASINO!
那个低沉的声音说:“去赌场!”
Well the casino is only a few miles away, so the man takes the chest and walks to the casino.
那个男人一想赌场只有几英里远,于是就带着那个箱子去了赌场。
The deep voice says: ROULETTE !
那个低沉的声音说:“轮盘赌!”
So he changes all the gold into a huge pile of roulette tokens and goes to one of the tables,where the players gaze at him with disbelief.
他把所有的金币都换成了轮盘赌的筹码,当他走到一个轮盘赌的桌子前,所有的人都用怀疑的目光看着他。
The deep voice says: 27!
那个低沉的声音又说:“二十七!”
He takes the whole pile and drops it at the 27. The table nearly bursts.Everybody is quiet when the croupier throws the ball. The ball stays at the 26.
他把所有的筹码都压在了二十七上。那个赌桌都快放不下了。当那个球在轮盘赌上转动时每个人都安静了下来。最后,它停在了二十六上。
Finally, the deep voice says: This is called BAD LUCK ! My son!
最终,那个低沉的声音说:“我的孩子,这就叫做‘倒霉’!”
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Two hunters hire a small plane to take them to a remote area of Canada. Upon dropping off the hunters,the pilot tells them, "Remember only one moose, because the plane wouldn' t be able to take off with more weight than that.” The hunters go off. A week later when the plane returns to pick them up the two hunters are standing by the lake with two moose.
两个猎人租了一架小型飞机带他们去加拿大的一个偏僻地区。当两个猎人到达目的地下飞机时,飞行员告诉他们说:“记住,飞机只能带一只驼鹿,否则飞机会因为过重而无法起飞。”两个猎
人就这样打猎去了。
The pilot fumes, "I told you guys only one moose, and you' 11 have to leave one because we won’t be able to take off with that much weight.” "Oh, come on,” beg the two hunters, "Last year the pilot let us take two moose on, you’re just a chicken.”
过了一个星期,当飞机返回原地接他们的时候看到他们身边有两只驼鹿。飞行员愤怒地说:“我告诉过你们,只能带一只驼鹿。你们必须丢下一只否则飞机过重无法起飞。”“哦,别这样”,两个猎人哀求道,“去年那个飞行员让我们带了两只驼鹿呢,你胆子也太小了。”
Not wanting to be accused of being a coward,the pilot allows the two to bring both moose on the craft. The plane starts across the lake, straining to take off. The pilot tries and tries to no avail and the plane crashes into the trees at the end of the lake. A while later after coming to one of the hunters gets up and looks at all the scattered debris of the wreck and says, "Where are we?" To which the other hunter replies, "Oh,I’d say about a hundred yards farther than last year.
飞行员怕别人说他是胆小鬼,于是就同意带上两只驼鹿一起走。当飞机穿过一个湖后开始迫降。飞行员用尽办法也无济于事,飞机坠落在湖边的一片树林里。过了不久,一个猎人起身看着
飞机的残骸说:“我们这是在哪?’’另一个猎人回答:“哦,我觉得比去年还远了一百码呢。”
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well,he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
你有没有听说过有一个人,当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混,他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch,because you're next!”
这时那个荡妇喊到:“不,不要这样,你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴,泼妇,下一个死的就是你!”
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笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话,希望大家喜欢!
A farmer purchases an old,run-down, abandoned farm with plans to turn it into a thriving enterprise. The fields are grown over with weeds,the farmhouse is falling apart,and the fences are collapsing all around.
一个农民买了一块破旧荒废的农场,他准备把这块农场变成兴旺的园林。然而目前这块地是杂草丛生,房屋破旧不堪,四周的篱笆也是东倒西歪。
During his first day of work,the town preacher stops by to bless the man’s work,saying, "May you and God work together to make this the farm of your dreams!”
在他第一天工作的时候,城里的一个传教士给他送去了祝福:“愿上帝与你一起实现你的梦想吧!”
A few months later, the preacher stops by again to call on the farmer. I}ok and behold,it’s like a completely different place-the farmhouse is completely rebuilt and in excellent condition,there are plenty of cattle and other livestock happily munching on feed in well-fenced pens,and the fields are filled with crops planted in neat rows.
几个月以后,那个传教士又一次来到农场,快看那,这里与上次相比简直是天壤之别。房屋重新修好了,条件也比以前好多了,成群的牛羊在欢快地吃着青草,地里的庄稼也整整齐齐的排列着。
"Amazing!” the preacher says. "Look what God and you have accomplished together!"
“太神奇了”,传教士惊呼道:“看那,上帝和你一起实现了你的梦想!”
"Yes, reverend,” says the farmer, "but remember what the farm was like when God was working it alone!"
“没错,教士,”那个农民说道:“可你也要记住当初这个农场只由上帝一人支配的时候是个什么样子!”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国风趣幽默笑话,希望大家喜欢!
In the veterinary office where I’m a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes , in fact that’s why we' re here,”she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminder.
我是一家兽医站的技师。当动物到了该注射疫苗的时候,我们就寄出提醒信。一条德国牧羊犬布鲁诺来做每年一次的狂犬疫苗注射。依照州立法律的要求,我们问他的主人,在过去的十天里布鲁诺是否咬了什么人。“噢,是的,实际上这也是我们到这里来的原因。”她回答说。我觉得奇怪,告诉她我们以为他们是因为收到了提醒信才来的。
"We did,” she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card.”
“的确如此,”她解释说。“布鲁诺咬了你们送提醒信的邮递员。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国风趣幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
BBC World Service announcer: "A Palestinian suicide bomber has struck again in the Northern town of Afula in Israel killing at least four people and wounding several more. The Israeli army has responded by. . ."
英国广播公司世界新闻:“一名巴勒斯坦自杀性爆炸者在以色列北部小镇阿夫拉又一次引发爆炸,造成至少四人死亡多人受伤。以色列军队决定对此做出反应……”
Rick, bored, while I worked out his Algebra problem for him: "Can't they catch the guy who's doing all this bombing?
当我给我的儿子雷克做他的代数题的时候,雷克无聊的问我:“他们能抓住做所有这些事的那个人吗?”
Me: "Uh. . . er. . . well, might not be the same guy. I think they might be getting names confused, you know, they got a lot of similar sounding names there一a lot of Mohammad's. "
我说:“这个嘛,也许不是同一个人。我觉得他们也许把名字搞混了。你知道吗?他们有许多人的名字听上去都差不多,都是叫穆罕默德什么的。”
Rick: "Oh.”
雷克:“噢。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国风趣幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
The doctor looked at his tongue, felt his pulse, knocked on and began: "Same old story, my much confinement. Do not deny it patient his chest friend. Too much confinement, Do not deny it. Walk, Walk.”
医生看了一下病人的舌头,摸了摸脉,敲了敲胸部,然后说:“老问题,朋友。活动太少,别不承认。你需要大量的户外锻炼,散步,散步,散步。
“But, doctor. . .”
“可是,医生……”
“Don’t argue with me. I am the doctor. Take my advice, Walk ten times as much as you do now. That’s the only thing that will cure you.”
“别和我争论,我是医生。听我的劝告,走十倍于你现在走的路。这是治愈你的病的惟一方法。”
“But my business…”
“但我的工作……”
"That is just the trouble. Your business! Well, change your business, so that you can get a chance to walk more. What is your business?"
“问题就在这里,你的工作!噢,换个工作,这样你就有机会多走动了。你是干什么的?”
“I'm a letter-tamer.”
“我是一个邮递员。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默笑话,希望大家喜欢!
A distinguished professor was arrested yesterday at Bush Intercontinental Airport in Houston, Texas while trying to board a flight with a calculator, protractor compass, and slide rule. The security crew immediately searched the elderly man when they saw him boarding with a calculator in his hand. A search of his handbag revealed the devices. The man was charged with carrying instruments of math instruction. Further investigation has revealed he is a member of the A1一Gebra terrorist network.
昨天,一位著名的教授在德克萨斯州休斯顿市的布什国际机场被逮捕。这位教授在登机时携带了计算器、量角器、指南针和计算尺等工具。安全检查人员当看见他手中拿着计算器准备登机时迅速搜查了这个老人。在对他的手提包的搜查中发现了上述设备。这个男人将会被指控携带数学教学器具。进一步的调查表明这位教授是一名代数恐怖组织网络成员。
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered: "I am out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirty rope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home.”
在监狱里,一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说:“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候,看到一根脏绳子,以为没人要了,便捡起来带了回家。”
"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home!”
“但是,捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”
"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn’t notice there was an ox at the other end of that rope.”
“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气,“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
Trying to make up for bad behavior, Bill Clinton went to the shopping mall to buy Hillary a gift I’d like to buy some gloves for my wife,” he says eyeing the attractive salesgirl, "but I don't know her size.”
比尔·克林顿为了弥补他所做的坏事,于是就到商场为希拉里买一个礼物。“我想为我的妻子买一双手套,”他看着那个迷人的导购小姐说,“但是我不知道她带什么号的。”
"Will this help?" she asked sweetly, placing her hand in his. "Oh, yes,” he answered. "Her hands are just slightly smaller than yours.”
“我有办法能帮帮你,”那个导购小姐甜甜的说,然后把她的手放到克林顿手上。“噢,太好了,”他回答。“我妻子的手只比你的手小一点。”
"Will there be anything else?" the salesgirl inquired, as she wrapped the gloves. "Now that you -mention it,” Bill replied,"she also needs a bra and panties
“您还想要点什么吗?”那个导购小姐边包装那双手套边问。“既然你问到了,”比尔回答,“她还需要一身内衣。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still,she had no mail,and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again,she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The mailman won’t be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail" The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, `You've got mail.”’
一个金发女郎走出门来检查她的邮箱,她的邻居看见了她。她没有发现邮件,所以她就回到了家里。过了两分钟,这个金发女郎又出来第二次检查她的邮箱,她仍然没有发现邮件,她的邻居看见了有些迷惑。一分钟以后,这个女人又出来第三次检查邮箱,她还是一无所获。这回她的邻居走向前去问她:“邮递员三个小时内是不会来的。你为什么不断的检查你的邮箱呀?”那个金发女郎说:“噢,因为我的电脑总是告诉我‘你有新邮件’。”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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