外国最新幽默笑话(汇编4篇)
笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国最新幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
外国最新幽默笑话:场景
Did you hear the one about the ethnic who came home and found his wife between the sheets with another man? Well,he pulls out a gun, saying,“ That’s enough! I’m going to put an end to this once and for all!” Then he puts the gun up to his head.
你有没有听说过有一个人,当他回到家后发现自己的妻子正和另一个男人在鬼混,他立刻拔出手枪喊到:“我受够了!看来今天是要做一个了结了!”说完他将枪口对准自己的头。
The unfaithful wife shouts, "Don’t do it! Don’t do it! Don’t kill yourself !” The enraged ethnic replies, "Shut up, bitch,because you're next!”
这时那个荡妇喊到:“不,不要这样,你可不能自杀呀!”那人听了愤怒地吼道:“闭嘴,泼妇,下一个死的就是你!”
外国最新幽默笑话:初出茅庐的州警
Yesterday, in a county in south Georgia, a young state trooper went to the local magistrate and requested a warrant to arrest someone. The magistrate, doing his job, determined there was insufficient evidence and refused to issue the warrant. The trooper arrested the magistrate for" obstruction of justice.” Upon arrival at the county jail, the sheriff quickly determined what had happened,and refused to lock up the magistrate. The best part was the state patrol post’s leader's response, in a radio interview. "We believe this was just a minor misunderstanding. We have spoken with the trooper, and it won’t happen again.”
昨天,在乔治亚州南部的一个县,一位年轻的州警到当地的法院,他想要逮一个人,希望法官给他开一个逮捕令。那个法官认为没有足够的证据可以证明那个人有罪,所以拒绝签发逮捕令。于是,这名警察便以“妨碍公务”的罪名逮捕了那位法官。可是当治安长官了解了情况以后,便拒绝监禁名法官。然而最精彩的部分还要说是巡警长官的态度了,他在电话采访中说到:“我们相信这完全是个小小误会,我们已经批评了那个巡警,并且保证今后再不会发生类似的事情了!”
外国最新幽默笑话:电话录音
KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…,you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored,and Perspectives is back on the air.
KQED电台在几天前宣布,由于资金紧张,他们将刷掉一个叫做《观察评论》的节目。第二天一大早,唐·爱得华兹从专门记录听众反馈意见的电话录音中听到了一位妇女的留言:“我叫朱莉娅,一个老听众了,听说你们要取消《观察评论》这个栏目,我感到非常气愤!我要考虑收回我的资助,除非你们能恢复……”紧接着是一声急促的刹车声,然后是撞击声和玻璃粉碎的声音,并且伴随着朱莉娅的尖叫声:“天那,你们简直快让我发疯了,刚才我和前面的一辆车追尾了,我挂电话了。”接着便是挂上电话后的滴答声。可怜的朱莉娅,其实资金已经重新运转了,《观察评论》这档节目也重新开播了。
外国最新幽默笑话:沉默誓言
A middle-class man decides to go off and join a monastery, which requires an oath of silence. No speech is allowed except for two words every 5 years, to sum up one’s experiences to the head monk.
一个中产阶级男子决心远离红尘,去当修道士。每个出家的人都必须要立个沉默誓言,那就是每五年只允许说两个字,作为对这一段时间所经历事情的总结。
After the first 5 years,the monk asked him what two words described his experiences and all he said was "HARD BEDS.”
第一个五年过去了,当修道士让他用两个字总结这五年的经历时,那人说道“破床”。
When the next 5-year period came the monk asked how things were and he replied: "BAD FOOD.”
又过了五年,当修道士再次问道他的时候,他回答“猪食”。
After 5 more years,he walked up to the monk and said,"I QUIT!”
第三个五年过后他对修道士说“放弃”。
The monk nodded and muttered,“Yes , this doesn't surprise me. You've been doing nothing but complaining for the past 15 years!”
道十点了点头喃喃地说道:“果不出我所料,这十五年来除了抱怨以外你什么也没有做。”