为您找到与儿童英语笑话相关的共200个结果:
1.Don't Argue with Children
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that a whale swallowed Jonah.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
不要和小孩争论
一个小女孩和她的老师正在谈论有关鲸鱼的事情。
她的老师说:“一头鲸鱼从身体构造的角度看,是不可能吞掉一个人的。因为尽管鲸鱼是一种非常巨大的哺乳动物,可它的嗓子非常小。”
那个小女孩说约拿(一位西伯来先知)就是被鲸鱼吞掉的。
她的老师非常生气,她再次告诉小女孩说:“从身体构造角度来讲,鲸鱼是不可能吞掉一个人的。”
那个小女孩说:“那等我到了天堂,就去问问约拿。”
她的老师问:“那么,假如约拿下了地狱怎么办?”
那个小女孩回答:“如果是那样的话,你就去问他。”
2.The boy and the snails A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
男孩和蜗牛
一个乡下少年到处寻找蜗牛,当他双手都塞满了蜗牛后,就准备点火烤着吃。火点着了,蜗牛也开始感觉到热了,他们纷纷退向坚壳的深处,同时还发出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子听到了蜗牛发出的嘘声,便说:“你们这些连命都快没有的家伙,怎么还能有心情在窝里着火时吹口哨呢?”
3.Best Reward
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."
最好的奖赏
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
4.Be Careful What You Wish For
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
慎重许愿
一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。
庆祝活动中,一位仙女出现了。她说,由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻,因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。
妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声,她的手中出现了一张票。
接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻,害羞地说,“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”
仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”,他变成了90岁。
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A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
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It’s sunny day in spring. Miss Cat is fishing.
这是春天里一个阳光明媚的日子,猫小姐在河边钓鱼。
Suddenly the fishing rod moves. “Great! Oh, it’s so heavy!” Miss Cat says happily.
突然鱼竿动了动。“太棒了!哇,好重啊!”猫小姐高兴地喊着。
The fish is plucked out of the river. “Oh, a big fish! How big the fish is!” She cheers.
鱼被拉出来了。“啊!一条大鱼!这条大鱼可真大呀!”她欢呼道。
But she puts the fish into the river and goes on fishing.
但是她却把鱼放回河里,又继续钓鱼。
At the time, Mr. House goes by and sees it. “What do you set it free?” He asks.
这时候马先生路过,看见这一切,就问她:“为什么你把鱼放了?”
“Because my pot is too small. I can’t cook it,” Miss Cat says.
“因为我的锅太小。我没办法烧这么大的鱼。”猫小姐回答说。
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下面是读文网小编整理的儿童英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Tony and his father are eating dinner.
托尼正和他爸爸一起吃晚餐。
Suddenly Tony asks his father, “Dad, are flies yummy?”
突然,托尼问他的爸爸:“爸爸,苍蝇好吃吗?”
Dad frowns and says, “No, I think it’s yucky. Why do you ask me this question? It’s a silly question.”
爸爸皱眉说:“我想不好吃。你怎么会问这个问题?这可是一个愚蠢的问题。”
But Tony says, “ There was one fly in your plate.”
可是托尼说:“刚才你盘子里有一只苍蝇。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味儿童英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Our university newspaper runs a weekly question feature. Recently, the question was: "Whose autograph would you most want to have, and why?" As expected, most responses mentioned music or sports stars, or politicians. The best response came from a freshman, who said, "The person who signs my diploma."
我们大学的校报开办了一个每周一问的专栏。上周的问题是:“你最想要什么人的签名?为什么?”和预计的一样,大部分的回答都是歌星、体育明星或者政治家。但是,最优秀的答案来自一个一年级新生,他说:“在我毕业证上签字的那个人。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith", the boss replies, "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天,史密斯去见他的客户部领导,“老板”,斯密斯说,“我们家明天要大搞清洁,我老婆需要我回去帮忙清洁阁楼和车库,搬搬挪挪什么的。”“斯密斯啊,你也知道,我们现在人手已经不够了”老板说,“明天的假我是没法给你批了”。“多谢老板,”史密斯说,“我就知道跟着您干准没错”。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选儿童英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.
A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.
"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."
A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.
"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.
"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."
Unconvinced, the trucker implores the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"
The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"
一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭,他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。
一个卡车司机非常同情他们,就提议想给老太太单独点一份。
“没关系的。”老先生说,“我们分享一切。”
几分钟后,卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。
他再次对老先生说,“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”
“她会吃的,”老先生向他保证,“我们分享一切。”
司机不太相信,恳求老太太,“你为什么不吃一点?”
老太太咂咂嘴,“我在等他的假牙。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选儿童英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives himcrazy.
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
我表妹总是从她哥哥的小猪扑满里“借钱”,她哥哥对此事感到很愤怒。
一天,表妹四处寻找,最后竟然在冰箱里发现了扑满。
扑满里有张纸条:“亲爱的妹妹,我希望你能够理解,我的资产现在已被冻结。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语趣味笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
在田纳西州丛林的深处,一个山里人的妻子半夜时分临产,一名医生被叫来帮手接生。
Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.
因为那个地方没有通电,医生把灯笼递给那个快要当爸爸的农夫,说,“把这个高高举着,这样,我好干活”。很快,一名男婴降临到这人世界上。
“Hey there,” said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.
“嘿”,医生说,“别着急把灯笼放下来,我觉得还有一个小孩要生出来。”,果然,没几分钟,医生又接生了一个婴儿,这回是个女孩。“灯笼举高点,不要坐下来,还有”,医生说。
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.
又过了几分钟,第三个孩子降生了。
"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.
“别,别着急放下灯笼,看来,还有一个要出来!”,医生不由得惊叫起来。
The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting them?
山里人挠头抓耳,不明白是怎么回事,于是问医生,“你觉得是不是,这些小家伙看到光所以爬出来了?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语趣味小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
布朗说:“他只有两岁,就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来,我让你看看。”
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
他从书架上拿下一本自然书,把博比抱到膝上,打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。
"What's that, Bobby?"
“博比,这是什么?”
"Horsey, "said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of achimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
“马马,”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片,博比回答说:“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片,博比说:“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片,博比说:“爸爸!”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Little Freddie said to Little Johnny, "My dad's tougher than your dad!"
"Oh yeah?" said Little Johnny, "My dad is so tough, he has lightbulbs for dinner!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, the other night I heard him tell my mom, 'Turn out the light, I wanna eat it!'"
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Johnny divided a piece of pie into two pieces, kept the bigger piece for himself and gave the smallerpiece to his sister.
强尼把一块派一分为二,把大的留给自己,小的给他妹妹。
"Hey," said his sister, "if I'd divided the pie, I would have kept the smaller piece for myself. "
“嘿,如果是我来分那块派,我会把小的留给我自己,”妹妹说
"Well, that's what you got, so what are you complaining about?"
“你不是分到小块的吗,还抱怨什么呢?”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的儿童英语笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑双语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
Mother asked her litter daughter who was reading a book,"What are you reading,dear?”
妈妈问正在读书的女儿:“亲爱的,你读的是什么书?
"I don’t know,”the litter girl answered.
女儿回答道:“我不知道。”
"You don't know? But you were reading aloud,so you must know.”
“你不知道?你不是在朗读吗?你应该知道的。”
"I was reading aloud,mummy,but I wasn't listening,”explained the child.
女儿解释说:“我是在朗读,可我没有听。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it,so he decided not to return with others,but took a later plane home,arriving back at 3 am.
周末,有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道,所以他决定不和别人一起回去,他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家,到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园,挖了一个洞,把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house,dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door,which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol,the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨,他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里,那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上,还住着一位教授,他懂得手语,是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气,他带了一把手枪,把教授叫醒,然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000,I’m going to kill him,”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend,and his friend replied in sign language,“I hid in my backyard,under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元,我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said,“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now,children,"said she,"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please,teacher:said a small boy,:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please,teacher,I went to see her yesterday,and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her,‘Granny, I’m going home’,and she said,‘Well,I'm glad!’”
“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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想边看英语笑话边学英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语小笑话图片带翻译,欢迎大家阅读学习!
Can I take the last piece of cake?
我可以拿走最后一块蛋糕吗?
The moment it gets real tense at the Apocalypse
那一刻才是世界末日真正的紧张
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