为您找到与风趣幽默的用英语怎么说相关的共200个结果:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默风趣英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Mr.Brown lives in a small town, but then he gets a job in a big city and moves there with hiswife and his two children. On the first Sunday in their new home, Brown takes his new car out of the garage and washes it. A neighbor comes by. When he sees Brown's new car, the neighbor stops and looks at it for a minute. Then Brown turns and sees him.
The neighbor says, "That's a nice car. Is it yours?" "Sometimes." Brown answers.
The neighbor is surprised. "Sometimes?" he says. "What do you mean?"
"Well," answers Brown slowly, "When there is a party in the town, it belongs to my daughter, Jane. When there is a football game somewhere, it belongs to my son, Joe. When I've washes it, and it is really nice and clean, then it belongs to my wife. And when it needsgas, it's mine."
布朗先生居住在一个小城镇里,但后来在城里找到了工作并和他的妻子,两个孩子搬到了城里。在他搬到新家的第一个星期天,布朗先生把他的小汽车从车库里开出来进行冲洗。一位邻居经过。当他看见布朗先生洗车是,这位邻居停下来看了一会儿。接着布朗先生转过身看见了他。
邻居说:“这辆车真漂亮,是你的吗?”“有时候是。”布朗先生回答。
这位邻居很吃惊。“有时?”他说:“什么意思?”
“哦,”布朗先生慢慢地说:”当城镇有聚会时,它属于我的女儿——简。当哪里有足球赛是,就属于我的儿子——乔。当我洗刷好湖,车看起来确实干净漂亮,它就属于我妻子。当需要汽油时,它这时就属于我了。“
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默风趣英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A sailor was the only survivor of the shipwreck.
He had to stay on a desert island for three years.
One day he was very pleased to find a ship anchored in the day. When a small boat cameashore, an officer handed him a bunch of newspaper and said, "The captain suggests you read what's going on the world, and then tell us if you want to be rescued."
一个水手是船只失事后唯一的幸存者。
他不得不在一个荒岛上待了三年。
有一天他非常高兴地看到一艘大船停泊在海湾了。有一只小艇驶到岸边来,一个军官把一捆报纸递给他,对他说:“船长建议你看看这些报纸,了解世情后再告诉我们,你想不想被解救。”
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幽默故事,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来风趣幽默的英语故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.
一天深夜,一名警察去一个经常有人闹事的酒吧门口巡逻,为了避免有酒后驾车的情况发生。
At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.
酒吧打烊了,他看见一个家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出来,一下摔在路边,随后又用钥匙试着开了五辆车的门才找到他自己的车。
Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.
坐进车里,好几分钟他又都是在摸着那些钥匙。
Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.
这时人们都从酒吧出来并且开车走了。最后他也发动了车子准备开走,
The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.
警察已经等这个机会很久了,他打开灯,把司机从车里拉出来,给他宣读了他所享有的法定权利,然后作了酒精的测试。
The test results showed a reading of 0.00.
测试的结果是零,
The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.
于是困惑的警察问他是为什么,
The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"
司机说:“今晚他们派我当诱饵。”
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英语情景对话是练习英语口语的重要阅读材料,那么你想学习一些幽默的两人英语对话吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来两人幽默英语对话,希望对你有所帮助!
Son: Mum ,if someone broke your best. vase what would you do?
儿子:妈妈,如果有人打碎了你最好的花瓶,你会怎么办?
Mum: I'd spank him and send him to bed without any supper!
妈妈:我要揍他,还不让他吃晚饭就去睡觉!
Son: Well,you' d better get the slipper. Dad's just broken it !
儿子:好了,你准备好拖鞋吧,爸爸刚把那只花瓶摔碎了。
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No,Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的,先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好,让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶,在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled,"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf,”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了,先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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在繁忙的生活中需要英语笑话来放松我们的心情,下面读文网小编为大家带来放松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
The famous Dr. Smith,dean of Medical College,was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to His Majesty the King.”
医学院院长,著名的史密斯博士被任命为国王的私人医生。于是,他自豪地在他任教的班里的教室里的黑板上写下如下通知:“史密斯教授通知他的学生,他已荣任国王陛下的医生。”
When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon,he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”
当他下午回到教室的时候,发现他的通知下面又加了一行字:“愿上帝保佑国王!
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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当压力大山大时,阅读英语笑话不失为一种很好的减压方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默减压英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject. You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵。教授有点不悦,对他说道:“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向。亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界。”
"Yes,”said Landon,"he couldn’t help it,for you will recall the fact, doctor, that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样。教授先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来三年级英语幽默小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers,begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long,straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样,我刚学会开车时,总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时,我经过请求,爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸,直到开到了一个急转弯,由于转盘转动得太大,车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。我停下了车,等着挨训。
My father,always considerate of his children's feelings,turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪,转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿,有人想上厕所吗?”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语的幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport,I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted That it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur.“I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds,"she said.
在亚特兰大国际机场等行李时,我注意到一名政府官员带着一条狗。那条狗对所有到来的旅客的物品嗅来嗅去,以防止毒品入境。站在我旁边的妇女也注意到了这条在工作的狗是一条长毛的杂种狗.她说:“我觉得那条警犬可能是条德国的牧羊狗。”
Overhearing her comment,the agent replied,“He is, but he's working undercover.”
那名政府官员听到了这句话,回答说:“它确实是牧羊狗,但是它在做侦探工作.”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes,do you need a partner ?"
“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”
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