为您找到与趣味英语笑话短文相关的共200个结果:
下面是读文网小编整理的三则经典趣味英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,
“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明,
as mighty as Hercules,
像赫克力士一样强壮,
as brave as Admiral Nelson,
像纳尔逊上将一样英勇,
and as graceful as Nureyev. "
并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。”
"How fortunate we met! "
“很幸运能见到你!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的爆笑趣味英语笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
A Touching Farewell
两个老朋友出外打高尔夫球,
Two old friends were out golfing.
当他们在一处路旁准备开球时,
As they were'preparing to tee off near a road,
一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里,其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前,
a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and
直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。
held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.
“你这样做实在很有礼貌,”他的同伴说道。
"Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner.
“喔,那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。
"Oh, it was the least I could do.
毕竟,到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。
After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "
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幽默笑话,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味的英语笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!
Dentist: Please stop howting.I haven't even touchsd your tooth yet.
牙医:请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。
Patient: I know,but you are standing on my foot!
病人:我知道,可是你正踩着我的脚呀!
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下面是读文网小编整理的一些趣味英语冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚后已久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上,我们正坐在早餐桌旁,我暗示道:“亲爱的,你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”
他放下报纸,眼睛直直地望着我:“因此,你想交换座位吗?
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语趣味笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead." said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, " said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一个男人在街上被出租车撞倒送进了医院。他的妻子站在他的床前对医生说:“我想他伤得很厉害。”
医生说:“恐怕他已经死了。”
听到医生的话,这个男人转动着头说:“我没死,我还活着。”
妻子说:“安静,医生比你懂得多。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来最新英语趣味笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to steer to the airport.
一架飞机正盘旋在西雅图上空,这时飞机上发生电路故障,整个导航系统和联络设备都无法正常运行,再加上乌云和薄雾,驾驶员根本无法判断出飞机的位置和返回机场的路线。
The pilot saw a tall building, flew to- ward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign,and held it in the helicopter' s window. The pilot's sign said, "WHERE I AM?” in large letters.
这时驾驶员看到了一座很高的建筑物,他驶了过去,围着大楼转圈,并用大写字母手写一个条幅,把它贴在飞机的窗户上,“我在哪里?”
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft,drew a large sign,and held it in a building window. Their sign said,"YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.”
大楼里的人很快就给了他答案,同样用大写字母手写一个条幅,并贴在大楼的玻璃窗上:“你在直升飞机里。”
The pilot smiled,waved, looked at his map,determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport,and landed safely.
飞行员笑了笑,对着他们摆了摆手,他又看了看地图,便决定返回西达克机场的路线,并且安全地着陆了。
After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER" sign helped determine their position. The pilot responded, "I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer.”
他们到达地面后,副驾驶员问驾驶员,你是如何根据“你在直升飞机里”这句话来确定他们所在的位置。驾驶员说:“我知道这一定是微软公司的大楼,因为他们给了我一个技术上正确可无任何意义的答案。“
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”
“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”
Then another person cried , “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old. ”
“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”
“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”
一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
很多人想买药,那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中,一边收钱,一边递药。
然后当围观的人多起来时,那人举起一个小瓶子。
“听着,女士们,先生们,”那人喊道,“这就是你们一直想要的药。
消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶,就会长生不老。”
“女士们,先生们,”那人接着说道,“对这种神奇的药,我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元,我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧,朋友们,只花10美元,你们就能长生不老。”
人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
一人喊道:“如果这药能使人长生不老,你为什么不吃?”
接着另一人叫道:“是哇,你看上去至少60岁。”
“谢谢,先生,谢谢,”那人回答,“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
听到他的话,人群中发出一阵笑声,但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她,“他已329岁了,这是真的吗?”他问。
“别问我,”助手说,“我只为他工作了150年。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话英语,欢迎大家阅读!
Daughter:Why are some of your hairs white,Mom?
Mom:Well,every time that you do something wromg and make me cry or unhappy,one of my hairs turns white.
Daughter:Mom,how come all of grandma’s hairs are white.
女儿:妈妈,你为什么有好几根白头发?
妈妈:每次你做错了事,惹我生气或是流泪,我就会有根头发变白。
女儿:妈妈,为什么外婆的头发都是白的。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话三则英语,欢迎大家阅读!
Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife."
两个朋友在纽约市汽车中心总站的一家咖啡厅里吃午饭。 他们注意到一个男人独自坐在邻桌。当服务员小姐走向他时,无意中听到她问那个男人:“你是在等一位个子很高,很瘦,留长发,皮肤很白的金发女人吗?” 那人回答说:“在我生活的长远规划中,我是在等。但是今天,我却是在等我的妻子。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话精选英语,欢迎大家阅读!
The school girl was sitting with her feet streched far out into the aisle, and was busily chewing gum, when the teacher espied her. "Mary!" called the teacher sharply. "Yes, Madam?" questioned the pupil, "Take that gum out of your mouth and put your feet in!"
一个女学生坐在座位上,嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖,脚却伸到课桌间的走道里,被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事,老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来,把脚放进去。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
The landlady said to the hard-up author: "When will you pay arrears(拖欠,滞付) of room rent?"
The author replied: "I will pay you as soon as I receive the check that the publisher will send me if he accepts the novel that I am about to start writing when I have found a suitable subject and the necessary inspiration. "
房东太太对手头拮据的作家说:“你欠交的房租什么时候付清呀?”
作家回答说:“等我找到了合适的主题,也有了必要的灵感,就立即着手写一本小说。只要出版商接受了,他就会给我送来支票。我一收到支票,马上就付清所欠的房租。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
The English author, Richard Savage, was once living inLondon in great poverty. In order to earn a little money he hadwritten the story of his life, but not many copies of the bookhad been sold in the shops, and Savage was living from hand tomouth. As a result of his lack of food he became very ill, but after a time, owing to the skill of the doctor who had lookedafter him, he got well again.
英国作家理查德·萨维奇一度在伦敦过着贫困潦倒的生活,为了赚几个钱,他曾写了有关他自己生平的故事。但是这部书在书店里并没有卖出几本,萨维奇过着朝不保夕的日子。由于缺乏食物,他病得很厉害。后来,由于给他治疗的那个医生的高明医术,他才又恢复了健康。
After a week or two the doctorsent a bill to Savage for his visits, but poor Savage hadn't anymoney and couldn't pay it. The doctor waited for another month and sent the bill again. But still no money came. Afterseveral weeks he sent it to him again asking for his money. Inthe end he came to Savage's house and asked him for payment, saying to Savage, “You know you owe your life to me and Iexpected some gratitude from you.”
过了一两个星期之后,医生给萨维奇送来了一张讨要诊费的帐单,但是贫穷的萨维奇没有钱来偿付。医生等了一个月后又送来了帐单,但仍然未索回分文。几个星期之后,他又送来帐单要钱。最后,医生本人来到了萨维奇的家中,对他说:“你明白,你是欠我一条命的,我希望你有所报答。”
“I agree,” said Savage, “that I owe my life to you, and toprove to you that I am not ungrateful for your work I will givemy life to you.”
“是的,”萨维奇说,“我是欠你一条命,为了向你证明我对你的诊治不是不报答,我将把我的命给你。”
With these words he handed to him two volumes entitled,The life of Richard Savage.
说着这番话,萨维奇递给医生两卷书,名叫《理查德·萨维奇的一生》。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童英语趣味小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。
"The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
布朗说:“他只有两岁,就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来,我让你看看。”
He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
他从书架上拿下一本自然书,把博比抱到膝上,打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。
"What's that, Bobby?"
“博比,这是什么?”
"Horsey, "said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of achimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"
“马马,”博比回答。 他又指了一张老虎的画片,博比回答说:“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片,博比说:“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片,博比说:“爸爸!”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味笑话英语带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.
一位未曾有过作战经验的将军非常惶恐,因为第二天将有个战役要面对。
Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that Wellingtonhad always dressed in red for battle,
为了寻找灵感,他翻查了历年来伟大将领的档案,发现威灵顿将军每次战斗中都身穿红色衣服,
so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
万一他被射伤的话,他的士兵也不会发现。
Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他传了副官进来并指示手下做了一条深褐色的裤子。
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的趣味笑话英语带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味笑话英语翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.
有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作,一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜
"Sir, we don't sell half heads of anything. "
“先生,我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”
"Well, I insist; 1 0nly want half a head. "
“哎呀,我就买半颗,我只要半颗。”
"I'll ask the manager. "
“我要问问经理才行。”
The young man walked to the manager's office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager,
那名年轻人走到经理的办公室,不知道那位顾客尾随着他,他对经理说道:
"Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage. "
“经理,有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”
Turning and noticing the customer, he quickly added,
他转身发现那名顾客,立刻又补充说:
"And this gentleman wants the other half. "
“而这位先生要买另一半。”
Later, the manager took the young man aside and said,
稍后,经理把他拉到一旁说道:
"That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I'll keep you in mind. "
“年轻人,你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人,如果有较高的职位空缺,我会记得你的。”
Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager's spot had become vacant in the company's store in Edmonton.
几个星期之后,经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个襄理的职位空缺。
"Edmonton!" blurted out the young man. "Why, there's nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey playersi"
“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来,“那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”
"Young man , my wife happens to come from Edmonton! "
“年轻人,我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”
"No kidding, sir; what posltion does she play?"
“真的吗?经理,那她是打哪一个位置呢?”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的趣味笑话英语翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.
一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。
"How did it go?" asked his colleagues.
“这次打猎顺利吗?,’同僚问道。
"Oh , it was very disappointing," replied the surgeon.
“喔,实在太令人失望了,”外科医生答道。
"I didn't kill a thing. In fact, I'd have been better off staying here in the hospital. "
“我什么也没猎杀到,实际上,还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No,Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的,先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好,让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶,在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled,"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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