为您找到与讲有趣的笑话英文翻译相关的共200个结果：
下面是读文网小编整理的有趣英语冷笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?
学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。
学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单有趣英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said：“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.”
“Yes,” said Landon,“he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵.老师有点不悦,对他说道：
“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向.亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样.博士先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师.”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来有趣简单英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.?
? As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to ?sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congreg
ation. "All who want to go to heaven，please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be ?seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want
to be with the devil, please rise."?
? Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in ?the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it
looks like you and me are the only ?ones for it."
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站
起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来!”打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正
生气的看着他。?这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人.
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来双语幽默短笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
Richer Allan was so forgetful that sometimes he forgot what he was talking about in the middle of a sentence. His wife has to constantly remind him about his appointments，his classes一even his meals.Since Allan was a professor at a well一known university，his forgetfulness was often an embarrassment. It was not that he was not intelligent，as some critical people，tended to say. He was just very，very absent-minded.
理查德·艾伦非常健忘，以至于有时候他会忘记自己在说什么，因此他的妻子不得不经常提醒他去赴约，去上课—甚至去吃饭。可是作为一名知名大学的教授，艾伦的健忘症却经常让他很难堪。但这并不像一些吹毛求疵的人说的那样是因为他并不聪明，他只不过非常、非常健忘。
One hot summer day，Professor Allan decided to take his children to the beach. The seaside town he planed to visit was about a three一hour train ride away. To make the trip more interesting for his children，he kept the name of the town a secret. Unfortunately，by the time Allan had arrived the train station，the poor forgetful man had forgotten the name of the destination himself. Luckily，a friend of his happened to be in the station. He offered to take care of his children，while Allan went back home to find out where he was going.
在一个炎热的夏日，艾伦教授打算带上他的孩子们到海滩去。去海边小镇大约得坐三个小时的火车。为了让这次旅行更有趣，他一直没告诉孩子小镇的名字。不幸得很，当艾伦到达火车站的时候，这个可怜的健忘的人把目的地忘得一干二净了。不过幸亏他的一个朋友恰好在火车站，于是他帮助艾伦照顾孩子们，而艾伦则回家问问他到底要去哪儿。
The professor's wife was surprised to see him again so soon，but she was amused when she heard what the matter was. She distributed his memory，so she wrote the name of the town on a piece of paper. Satisfied that she had solved the problem，she sent her husband off again. Ten minutes later she was astonished to see him outside the house again. What was the matter now? The professor had forgotten where he had left his children.
教授的妻子见他这么快就回来了，感到非常吃惊，但当她知道事情始末的时候却被逗乐了。她信不过丈夫的记忆力，于是就把小镇的名字写在一张纸上。当解决完问题之后，她满意地目送丈夫又一次离去。但是十分钟之后他又回到了门外，她大吃一惊。现在又怎么了?原来是教授忘了他把孩引门留在哪儿了。
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默双语短笑话精选带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
Applying for my first job，I realized I had to be creative in listing my few qualifications.Asked about additional schooling and training，I answered truthfully that I had spent three years in computer programming classes. I got the job.
在一次求职时，我意识到在列举我所具备的为数不多的条件时，得有点创造性。当问及我是否受过其他的倍训时，我老实地回答说我花了三年时间学计算机程序设计课。我得到了那份工作。
I had neglected to mention that I took the same course for three years before I passed.
我没有提到那门功课我重复学了三年才考及格。
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式，还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says，“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只，还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies，“None，how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says，“If I shoot one，all the other birds will fly away scared，leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只，其他的都吓飞了，篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly，but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯，不全对，但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says，"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone，another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师，我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔，一个用牙咬，一个用嘴吸，你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies，"Well，I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在，他想了很大一会儿，最后回答说:“嗯，我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies，“Actually，it’s the one with the wedding ring，but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话，小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的，虽然你答错了，但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法，下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选，希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music，the teacher asked one of the boys，"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中，老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf，”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了，先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式，下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school，little Dolly, aged ten，was pulled on to her Daddy's knee，and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad，and presently said:
放学回到家里，十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上，她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴，马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp，daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸，你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this，and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother，who was away at school.Later，curious to know how she would tell the news，he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了，他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具，她的哥哥住在学校里。后来，想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的，他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时，他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了，你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候，他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No，Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的，先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好，让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶，在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled，"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑，”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑双语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
Mother asked her litter daughter who was reading a book，"What are you reading，dear?”
妈妈问正在读书的女儿:“亲爱的，你读的是什么书?
"I don’t know，”the litter girl answered.
女儿回答道:“我不知道。”
"You don't know? But you were reading aloud，so you must know.”
“你不知道?你不是在朗读吗?你应该知道的。”
"I was reading aloud，mummy，but I wasn't listening,”explained the child.
女儿解释说:“我是在朗读，可我没有听。”
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电话号码是电话管理部门为电话机设定的号码，一般7--8位数组成。那么你知道电话号码用英语怎么说吗?接下来跟着读文网小编来学习一下电话号码的英文翻译吧。
Memorizing phone numbers
记电话号码的能力
It was a hassle remembering numbers. Now we simply add them to our contacts list. Thatusually works well unless our device is lost, stolen, or damaged.
记数字是个麻烦，现在我们只需将11位的电话号码添加到联系人列表。如果我们的手机不出现丢失、被盗或损坏的情况，这种做法通常还很好用。
No one can be expected to remember all their contact numbers. What we can do is memorize 5of our most important contact numbers. This should include a mixture of family, friends andbusiness.
没有人会记得所有的联系号码。我们能做的就是记住5个最重要的联系号码。应包括家庭、朋友和生意上的联系人的电话号码。
If you're really ambitious you can memorize 5 contacts for each category.
如果你真的想自己记住电话号码，记住每个分组中的5个联系人即可。
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闪电是天空中云层放电时所产生的闪光，还被用以比喻快速。那么你知道闪电用英语怎么说吗?接下来跟着读文网小编来学习一下有关于闪电的英文相关知识吧。
sheet lightning;
片状闪电
chain(ed) lightning;
链状闪电
make a lightning attack;
闪电进攻
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口渴就是口干想喝水，这是人的一个正常的生理反应，那么你知道口渴用英语怎么说吗?下面欢迎大家跟着读文网小编一起来学习口渴的英文相关知识吧。
总是口渴 Always Thirsty
我口渴 I am getting thirsty
感觉口渴 Feeling thirsty
不口渴 not thirsty
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”，在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year，his history professor failed him in his examinations，and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However，his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时，历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而，杰克的父亲决定去见教授，强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy，"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time，I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子，”杰克的父亲说，“您要是让他这次及格，我相信他明年会有很大进步，学期结束时，他一定会考好的。”
"No，no，that’s quite impossible，"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know，last month I asked him when Napoleon had died，he didn't know”
“不，不，那不可能，”教授马上回答，“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的，他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生，请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说，“你不知道，恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松，想放松一下心情的话，那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100，000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it，so he decided not to return with others，but took a later plane home，arriving back at 3 am.
周末，有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道，所以他决定不和别人一起回去，他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家，到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园，挖了一个洞，把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house，dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door，which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol，the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨，他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里，那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上，还住着一位教授，他懂得手语，是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气，他带了一把手枪，把教授叫醒，然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000，I’m going to kill him，”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend，and his friend replied in sign language，“I hid in my backyard，under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元，我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said，“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松，想放松一下心情的话，那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now，children，"said she，"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please，teacher:said a small boy，:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please，teacher，I went to see her yesterday，and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her，‘Granny, I’m going home’，and she said，‘Well，I'm glad!’”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说:‘啊，我很高兴!’”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译，希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this，”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns，for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman，a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的，”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如，要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象，燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean，”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思，”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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想边看英语笑话边学英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语小笑话图片带翻译，欢迎大家阅读学习!
Can I take the last piece of cake?
我可以拿走最后一块蛋糕吗?
The moment it gets real tense at the Apocalypse
那一刻才是世界末日真正的紧张
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