为您找到与英语经典笑话101篇相关的共202个结果:
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Coins in American Currency 美国的硬币
There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).
Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.
Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.
One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬币是按下列币值铸造的:一美分,五美分,十美分,二十五美分,五十美分。
硬币也叫"零钱","小钱",或"银币",虽然它们不再是用银子铸成的。总的说来,硬币是通过大小来识别的,但总有人把十美分搞错,它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按币值的大小顺序排列。
还有一点要说明:你不能伸出手,托出一把纸币和硬币而希望别人从你那里拿走数目正确的零钱。这在任何西方国家都是不好的。
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下面是读文网小编为大家整理的几则经典英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam.""Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied."Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。
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下面是读文网小编整理的三则经典趣味英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
"The man I marry must be as wise as Solomon,
“我要结婚的对象必须要像所罗门王一样聪明,
as mighty as Hercules,
像赫克力士一样强壮,
as brave as Admiral Nelson,
像纳尔逊上将一样英勇,
and as graceful as Nureyev. "
并和苏联芭蕾舞蹈家诺瑞耶夫一样优雅。”
"How fortunate we met! "
“很幸运能见到你!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother is admonishing her son.
Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
别太自私
一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。
"听着,约翰,别太自私,让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈,我是让他。我先骑下坡,他再骑上坡。"
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语经典笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Proctor(exceedingly angry):“So you confess that this unfortunate freshman was carried to this frog pond and drenched?Now what part did you take in this disgraceful affair?”
Soph.(meekly):“The right leg,sir.”
右腿
学监(非常生气):“现在你承认这可怜的新生被扔进这蛙池里,浑身湿透?那么你在这不光彩的事情里扮演了什么角色呢?”
二年级学生(恭顺地):“右腿,先生。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语经典笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
What a world of pathos in this: A barren room, illkempt children, a worn out patient wife, a dissolute husband, and weak.
Mary, you ought to have married a better man.
John, I did.
一个何等沮丧的情景:空荡荡的屋子,脏兮兮的孩子,精疲力竭逆来顺受的妻子,自甘堕落的丈夫,还十分虚弱。
玛丽,你真该和一个好点儿的男人结婚。
约翰,我是这么做了。
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
无礼的问题
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请,参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下,小女孩坐在柔软的草地上,一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕,一边对贵妇人说:你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃,呃,不,他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作,夫人回答说,他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有,孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说,怎么会呢,夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样,当她们到我们家做客的时候,她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料martini。
After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完,生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了,“呃,老兄,我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题,但你得告诉我,你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答,“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来,那就说明我喝得差不多了,该回家了。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语笑话翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A newly deceased sinner had just entered hell, and was being shown around.
一名罪人去世后,刚下地狱就被带往各处走走。
"I'll tell you how it works around here," declared a particularly hideous devil. "You get your choice of three punishments. Here's the first. "
“我将告诉你这里的状况,”一位面目可憎的魔鬼宣布道。“你必须在三种刑罚中选一个,这是第一种。”
The sinner watched in horror as he saw men and women repeatedly being immersed in boiling water.
罪人看见男男女女反复地被浸入沸腾的热水中,吓得目瞪口呆。
"Here's the second. " The poor sinner shuddered as he saw unfortunate people being continually hounded by ferocious beasts and cruel demons.
“再看第二种。”可怜的罪人看到一些不幸的人被凶恶的野兽和残酷的妖怪不停地追赶,吓得直打哆嗦。
“And here's the third. ” A group was standing knee deep in shit and sipping tea.And he joined the group.
“这是第三种。”一群人站在深及膝部的粪池中喝茶。
No sooner had he done so than another devil yelled out
“这个看来还可以,我就选这个。”罪人说着便加入了那群犯人。
"OK, tea time s over. Get back on your heads. "
就在他加入不久,一个魔鬼大声喊道:“午茶时间结束,回到头下脚上倒立的姿势。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的经典幽默英语笑话翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话及翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines,but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result. "
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意,我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter,the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what,folks. We just lost our third engine,but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "
过了一会儿,旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位,你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了,有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point,one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted,"If we lose another engine,we'll be up here all night !"
正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止,如果我们再掉一个引拿,我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes,do you need a partner ?"
“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英语经典小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
My mother and I returned to my parent's house late one evening to find my father,my college-age brother, Steven, and my ten-year-old sister fast asleep. Mom had forgotten her house keys,so we knocked loudly, first at the back door and then the front and side doors. We yelled my father's name over and over, with no answer. The car-horn aroused the neighbors but no one at our house.
有一天晚上,我和妈妈回来得很晚。我们发现爸爸、上大学的哥哥、十岁的弟弟都睡觉了。可是妈妈却忘记带钥匙了。于是,我们就大声地叫门。先是在前门叫,然后又跑到后门去叫,到旁门叫,都没动静。我们大声地喊爸爸的名字,按汽车喇叭,邻居都被吵醒了,但是家里仍无人回答。
We drove into town and phoned home, waking Steven.When we got back,he let us in. Dad was in bed,snoring,with the television on. Mom quietly switched it off.
没办法,我们只好开车进城,从城里往家打电话,这才叫起了哥哥斯蒂文。回家后,他给我们开了门。爸爸在床上鼾声如雷,电视机开着。妈妈轻轻地把它关上。爸爸立刻醒来。“别关电视,”他说:“我在看呢。”
Dad woke right up. "Don't turn that off,"he said. "I'm watching it !"
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it,so he decided not to return with others,but took a later plane home,arriving back at 3 am.
周末,有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道,所以他决定不和别人一起回去,他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家,到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园,挖了一个洞,把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house,dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door,which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol,the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨,他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里,那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上,还住着一位教授,他懂得手语,是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气,他带了一把手枪,把教授叫醒,然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000,I’m going to kill him,”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend,and his friend replied in sign language,“I hid in my backyard,under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元,我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said,“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now,children,"said she,"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please,teacher:said a small boy,:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please,teacher,I went to see her yesterday,and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her,‘Granny, I’m going home’,and she said,‘Well,I'm glad!’”
“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’”
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考研英语2024备考复习技巧
考研英语分为英语一,英语二。考研英语一和英语二的题型都有英语知识运用、阅读理解和写作。以下是小编为大家收集的关于考研英语2024备考复习技巧的相关内容,供大家参考!
1、考研英语二的总考试时长是180分钟。
2、第一部分的20个选择题,可以安排20分钟。
3、第二部分的A节安排75分钟,B节安排25分钟。预计总时长是100分钟。
4、第三部分的英译汉,安排20分钟。
5、第四部分的Part A安排15分钟,Part B安排25分钟。预计总时长是40分钟。
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硕士研究生考研英语完型填空题及答案(2024)
为了让考研的同学更高效地复习考研英语,小编考研频道已经整理出了2024年考研英语完型填空试题和答案。如果你正在准备考研,不妨了解一下这些资料,希望它们能对你的备考有所帮助。
考研的考场分配根据考生的所在地以及报考学校等进行安排,在职人员考研时,考场一般都会分配在户籍所在地或工作单位所在地。
考研报考同一学校的考生理论上是分配在一个考点,甚至是同一考场的。考研报考同一学校的相同专业和不同专业是一起考试的。因为考研的考点、考场分配是实行统一管理,采取统一分配的原则,便于管理。
考研考场还有另外的分配方法,是划分考研的考场、考点时先按照各省、各市进行统一划分,然后是按照学校进行划分,再次是按照专业进行划分。
总之就是考研考场怎么分配对于考生的影响不大,考生只需要按照准考证所指示的前往指定考点进行考试即可,并且携带相关证件。
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