为您找到与英语笑话简单爆笑相关的共200个结果:
读文网网英语栏目为您精选语言地道的英语爆笑笑话,让你开心学英语。
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆:妈妈,我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈:当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着,其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里,”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍,地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净,整个地方都在发光。”“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语简单爆笑笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3岁了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
代课教师试图运用她的心理学知识。开始上课时,她说:“谁觉得自己很愚蠢,请站起来。”小约翰马上站起来了。老师问:“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢,小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢,只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother is admonishing her son.
Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
别太自私
一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。
"听着,约翰,别太自私,让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈,我是让他。我先骑下坡,他再骑上坡。"
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
无礼的问题
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请,参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下,小女孩坐在柔软的草地上,一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕,一边对贵妇人说:你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃,呃,不,他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作,夫人回答说,他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有,孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说,怎么会呢,夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样,当她们到我们家做客的时候,她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:
候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人,当医生传唤他时,
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"
他满面愁容的说:“医生,怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”
"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"
医生回答他說:“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单英语幽默笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去,她立刻将他抱起,头朝下不停地拍打他的后背,他咳出了两枚一角的硬币,她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道: “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币,可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道:“再喂他几枚镍币!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
One morning a fox sees a cock. He think,“This is my breakfast.”
He comes up to the cock and says, “I know you can sing very well. Can you sing for me?” The cock is glad. He closes his eyes and begins to sing. The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox. They cry, “Look, look! The fox is carrying the cock away.” The cock says to the fox, “Mr. Fox, do you understand? The people say you are carrying their cock away. Tell them it is yours. Not theirs.”
The fox opens his mouth and says, “The cock is mine, not yours.” Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
一天早上,一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想:这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来,对他说:“我知道,你能唱得非常好听,你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫:“看,看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说:“狐狸先生,你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的,不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说:“公鸡是我的,不是你们的。”就在那时,公鸡跑到了树底下。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "hey!"
Daughter: "your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸:“爸爸很累啦,你夸我两句吧,你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿:“老郑!”
老爸:“哎!”
女儿:“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的爆笑英语笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话集锦,欢迎大家阅读!
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.
一名参观动物园的游客注意到一名饲养员正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他问是怎么回事,别人告诉他大象死了。
"Fond of him,was he?"the visitor asked.
“他很喜欢那头大象,是吧?”游客问道。
"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."
“并非如此,”那人回答说,“他负责给大象挖墓穴。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him.She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.Wow,she thought,this crab is really special.I can't let him get away.So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset."What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh,honey," he replied,"I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻.她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走.哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了.因此他们立刻结婚了.
第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了.她深感不安.“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的.”
“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多.”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的英语简单幽默笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单有趣英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.”
“Yes,” said Landon,“he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵.老师有点不悦,对他说道:
“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向.亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样.博士先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师.”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field".
老师:改错,“一头公牛牛和公牛正在地里吃草。”
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
学生:一头母牛和公牛正在地里吃草。
Teacher: How?
老师:怎么改的?
Student: Ladies first.
学生:女士优先。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On a family vacation in "Texas,my brother-in-law Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner,he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers When his meal arrived,the first thing Mike noticed was its size.
一次,我们全家到德克萨斯去度假。姐夫迈克,好像是最有活力的旅游者。吃晚饭的时候,他为大家要了吉士汉堡包。当汉堡包被端上来后,迈克注意到的第一件事就是汉堡包的个儿挺大.
"Wow,“he exclaimed,"everything is bigger in Texas !”
“噢,”他喊道:“德克萨斯的每样东西都比其他地方的大。”
As he lifted the burger to his lips,his eyes met the cold stare of a 300-pound waitress.
就在他拿起汉堡要吃的时候,他的眼睛注意到了送汉堡的女服务员那冰冷的眼光。她足有三百镑重。
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