为您找到与英语笑话大全爆笑简短翻译相关的共200个结果:
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来--然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着。
Why are you so happy? someone yelled. You missed!
你为什么这么高兴?有人嚷道,你没击中!
Ah, replied the swordsman, you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father.
啊,剑手答道,你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着,是的--但他永远也做不成爸爸了。
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A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
一个家伙正在看报纸,他的妻子走到他身后,用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
He asks, What was that for?
他问道:这是为什么?
She says, I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it.
她说:我在你口袋里发现了一张写有‘Betty Sue’的纸条。
He says, Jeez, honey, 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I bet on. She shrugs and walks away.
他说:哎呀,亲爱的,‘Betty Sue’是我赌的那匹马的名字。
Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
她耸了耸肩,走了。 三天后他正在看报纸,妻子走到他身后,又用一只煎锅敲他的后脑勺。
He asks, What was that for?
他问:这又是为什么?
She answers, Your horse called.
她答道:你的马打电话来了。
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A gentleman walks into a store and asked for a pair of gloves.
″Cloth or leather﹖″ asked the salesperson.
″Makes no difference? ″replied customer.
″What color﹖″ asked the clerk.
一位先生走进一家商店要买副手套。
“您是要布的还是皮的?”售货员问。
“没什么区别。”这位顾客回答。
“那您要什么颜色的呢?”售货员又问。
″Any?″ he responded.
″Size﹖″
″Give me whatever you prefer?″ the gentleman said? slightly exasperated. ″My wife will be back tomorrow to exchange them.″
“什么颜色都成。”他回答。
“号码呢?”
“您就随便给我拿一副吧,”这位顾客有点不耐烦了,“反正我太太明天都会来换的。”
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An old couple went into a restaurant and ordered something to eat: one Coca Cola and one portion of French fries. The old man sat down and the woman, his wife, sat opposite him, and he began to divide the Coca Cola into two glasses, half for him and half for his wife.
有一对老夫妇到速食店去,叫了一罐可乐和一份薯条。然后他们面对面坐下来,那位老先生先把可乐分成两杯,一杯给他自己,另一杯给他太太。
He divided all the French fries half-and-half. He gave half to his wife and kept half for himself. Then he began to eat and drink,and the woman just drank but didn't eat.
接着他又将薯条分成两份,一份给他太太、一份给自己。然后他开始吃薯条、喝可乐,但是他的太太只是喝可乐,不吃薯条。
There was a young man who was standing next to the table and wondering why the old man had divided everything in half, and he thought that maybe they didn't have any money. He said to the old couple, "Okay, I can buy you one more portion; you don't have to share like that."
一个年轻人刚好站在旁边,看到老先生把每样食物都分成两半,觉得很奇怪,他想或许他们没有钱,便跟老夫妇说:‘我可以再买一份给你们,你们就不用这样分了。’
So the old man explained, "No, no, no, we have been married for forty years and we always share everything. Whatever we have, we share half and half. Don't worry, but thank you, anyhow."
老先生解释说:‘不、不!我们结婚四十年了,一直都是分享每件事物,什么东西都是一个人分一半。不用担心我们,不过还是谢谢你的好意。
But then after a while, he saw that the woman wasn't eating eat, and only the man ate, and he asked, "Why aren't you eating?" And the wife said, "Today it's his turn to use the teeth."
过了一会儿,他看只有老先生吃着薯条,老太太没吃,便问老太太:‘你为什么都不吃呢?’老太太说:‘今天轮到他用牙齿。’
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A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked:" Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack.
一个小贩在路边卖瓦盆,他一边敲一边唱:“瓦盆圆又圆,结实又好看,光听这声音,就知不一般。”敲着敲着,“啪啦”一声,把盆敲烂了。
Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments without extra trouble into paddy fiel(稻田) , but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off easily:" How the deuce can you throw them into my field? They'll impede(阻碍) my growing crops!"
围观的人一阵哄笑。他顺手把碎片扔进了稻田里,谁知人群中一个老农不干了:“你怎么能往我地里扔?这不影响我种田吗?”
The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."
卖瓦盆的小贩连忙辩解:“不要紧,瓦片见水一会儿就粉了。”
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Bogota, Colombia - Police in the northeastern Colombian city of Arauca said Tuesday that they had detained a donkey named Pacho after a motorcyclist crashed into the animal and suffered serious injuries. "When there are road accidents and serious injuries, the vehicles involved are always impounded," said Diana Rojas, spokeswoman for the Arauca city police department. "We had to impound both the donkey and the motorcycle and put them at the disposal of investigators so they can decide what to do with them and whether to release them," she said.
哥伦比亚首都波哥大市:周二,哥伦比亚东北部阿劳卡市的警方说,一个骑摩托车的人撞上了一头驴子而且受了重伤,他们已拘留了这头名叫帕奇欧的驴子。“当发生交通事故并有人受重伤时,事故所涉及车辆都要被扣留,”阿劳卡市警方的女发言人狄阿娜-罗哈斯说道,“我们不得不把驴子和摩托车都扣了,将它们交给调查人员处理,以便他们可以决定如何处置以及是否释放它们。”
Pacho’s owner, Nelson Gonz lez, said no one should blame the donkey for Sunday’s crash. "Neither the donkey nor I were responsible because I was in front and the motorcyclist saw me," Gonzalez told RCN television.
帕奇欧的主人纳尔逊-岗萨雷兹说,不该把上周日发生的碰撞事故归咎于那头驴子。“驴子和我都没有责任,因为我当时是在前面,摩托车手看见我了。”岗萨雷兹对RCN电视台的记者说。
The motorcyclist remained in the hospital on Tuesday. The donkey, whose legs were hurt in the crash, is being held at a pound in Arauca till the investigation is concluded.
摩托车手周二时还在医院里,而那头驴子的腿在事故中也受了伤,目前它被关在阿劳卡市的动物待领所,直到调查结束它才能被放出来。
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One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions.
一天,父亲与小儿子一块儿回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。
Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?"
他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?”
"Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
“唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。”
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
“可是,爸爸,”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
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笑话篇幅短小,故事情节简单而巧妙,往往出人意料,给人突然之间笑神来了的奇妙感觉,取得笑的艺术效果。大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象,具有讽刺性和娱乐性。下面一起来看看一些爆笑的英语短笑话吧。
1.Workman:“Mr.Brown,I should like to ask for a smallrise in my wages. I have just been married.” Employer:“Very sorry,my dear man, but I can't helpyou. For accidents which happen to our workmen outside thefactory we are not responsible.”
工人:“布朗先生,我想请您给我加一点工资。我刚刚结了婚。” 雇主:“非常抱歉,老兄,但是我无能为力。对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。”
2.George comes from school on the first of September."George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother."I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too....."
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。“乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?” 妈妈问。“妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。”
3.Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!
Mrs. Smith: But you must put an advertisement in the papers!
Mrs. Brown: It's no use, my little dog can't read.
布朗夫人:哦,
亲爱的,我把珍爱的小狗给丢了!
史密斯夫人:可是你该在报纸上登广告啊!
布朗夫人:没有用的,我的小狗不认识字。”
4It's not my fault
Mother (reprimanding训斥,谴责 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.
Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.
不是我的错
妈妈(正教训她的女儿):你不该拽猫的尾巴。
女儿:妈,我只是握着猫尾巴,它自己在拽。
5The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”
6On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they would not have to stand on their toes all the time.
在观看完芭蕾舞表演回家的路上,幼儿园老师问学生的观后感。班上最小的女孩说,她希望舞蹈演员可以长得更高一点儿,那么他们就不用整天踮着脚尖了。
7Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?
Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.
母亲问她年幼的儿子:宝贝,今天老师教了你些什么?
儿子骄傲地说:什么都没教,妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几,我告诉她等于三。
8Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, "Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam."
"Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite." Mother replied.
"Then I do hope I'll fail the other subjects in my dream tonight," Tom said.
在期末考试之前,汤姆告诉他的母亲:“妈妈,我昨天晚上做了一个梦,梦见我通过了今天的考试。”
“不要相信梦,亲爱的。据说梦中的经历通常与现实相反。”妈妈答道。
“那么,我真希望在今晚的梦中,我的其他功课都不及格。”汤姆说。
9A small boy leading a donkey passed by an Army camp. A couple of soldiers wanted to have some fun with the lad(少年,小伙子) . What are you holding onto your brother so tight for, sonny? asked one of them.
So he won't join the army, the youngster replied without blinking an eye.
一个小男孩牵着头驴子穿过部队营房。两名士兵想跟小家伙开个玩笑:小孩,你把你哥哥牵得这么紧干什么?
这样,他就不会去参军了。小家伙眼都不眨地回答道。
10Teacher: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have?
Student: Big hands.
老师:如果我左手上有7个桔子,右手上有8个桔子。那么我有什么?
学生:大手。
11When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?
杰克给人鞠躬,飞快地一点头,就算完了。大家都怪他不懂礼貌。于是便有好心的人教他说,下次鞠躬的时候,你就在心里数:一月、二月、……一直数到十二月为止,然后再直起身来。这样,礼节就周全了。
第二天,杰克见到他的叔叔,他便如法炮制。这躬鞠得太久,叔叔吃了一惊,赶紧逃开了。杰克抬头一看,其叔早已不知去向,他便问过路人:我叔叔几月走的?
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笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。下面一起来看一下英语爆笑笑话吧。
老师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My father's the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasn't impressed, "Well, that's nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My father's the one who killed it!"
维尔和比尔在争吵,谁的爸爸是更强壮的一个。维尔说:“你知道太平洋吗?那个坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比尔不屑地说:“那没什么。你知道死海吗? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
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笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。下面一起来看一下英语爆笑笑话吧,包你爆笑一下午~
1、The Fish Net
Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?
A lot of little holes tied together with strings. replied the little girl.
鱼网
你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安? 老师发问道。
把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。 小女孩回答道。
2、The New Teacher
George comes from school on the first of September.
George, how did you like your new teacher? asked his mother.
I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said that two and four were six too.....
新老师
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗? 妈妈问。
妈妈,我不喜欢,因为她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。
2英语笑话带翻译
《律师、宝马和胳膊》
一个律师打开他的宝马车门,突然一辆汽车驶过来把门撞飞了,警察赶到现场,律师正痛苦地抱怨毁坏了他心爱的宝马。
“警察同志,看看他们把我的车弄的!!!”律师哀怨地说。
“你们律师真是物质至上,我很不舒服!”警察反驳说,“你这么关心你可恶的宝马,你可能没有注意到你的左胳膊也没了。”
律师终于注意到了血淋淋的左肩膀,“天哪,我的劳力士手表在哪儿?”
A lawyer opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.
"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!!!", he whined.
"You lawyers are so materialistic, you make me sick!!!" retorted the officer, "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!!!"
《狗住旅店》
一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信,“我非常希望带着我的狗,它很干净很有教养,你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”
旅馆主人立即回了封信,“我经营旅馆很多年了,狗从没偷过毛巾,床单, 餐具,或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它,狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆,如果它为您担保,也欢迎您来。
A man wrote a letter to a small hotel he planned to visit on his vacation: "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"
An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. And I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."
交通事故
A man was driving to work when a truck ran a stop sign ... hit his car broadside, and knocked him cold. Passerbys pulled him from the wreck and revived him. He began a terrific struggle and had to be tranquilized by the medics. Later, when he was calm, they asked him why he struggled so. He said, "I remember the impact, then nothing. I woke up on a concrete slab in front of a huge, flashing 'Shell' sign. And somebody was standing in front of the 'S.'
有个人开车行驶在上班的路上,一辆卡车闯红灯从侧面撞上了他的车,当时他就不省人事了。路旁的行人把他从车里拉出来并唤醒他。刚一醒过来,他就拼命的挣扎着,最后不得不用了药物才让他镇静下来。过了一会儿,他平静了,别人问他为什么要这么恐怖的挣扎,他说:“被撞之后我就什么都不知道了,当我醒过来,我发现我躺在了路边,前面是一个巨大的广告牌上面闪烁着‘壳牌’,但是有个人挡住了那个“S。”
The Monkey
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。”
A Present 凯特的礼物
Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.
凯特:妈妈,你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?
妈妈:不知道,宝贝,是什么呀?
凯特:一把漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈:可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。
凯特:不,你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。
咒语
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.
一个男人找到一个巫婆,要求她解开一条困扰了自己40年的咒语。
The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you."
巫婆说:"或许我可以做的到,但你必须一字不落地告诉我下咒的时候说的那句咒语。"
The old man says without hesitation - "I now pronounce you man and wife."
男人毫不犹豫的答道:“‘我现在宣布你们成为夫妇。’”
我当时还不缺钱
Looking very unhappy, a poor man entered a doctor's consulting-room.
"Doctor," he said, "you must help me. I swallowed a penny about a month ago."
"Good heavens, man!" said the doctor. "Why have you waited so long? Why don't you come to me on the day you swallowed it?"
"To tell you the truth, Doctor," the poor man replied, "I didn't need the money so badly then."
一个看起来很难受的穷人走进大夫的诊室。
"大夫!"他说,"帮帮我!一个月前我吞了一分硬币!"
"天哪,"大夫说,"早干嘛去了?你当时怎么不来看?"
"实话告诉您吧,大夫,"穷人说,"我当时还不缺钱!"
The Nice Wedding Gift
We attended the wedding of an acquaintance's son. Because we did not know the young man or his bride, we decided to send them a practical household gift, a fire extinguisher. Apparently, the couple mass-produced their thank-you notes because we received a card saying: "Thank you very much for the nice wedding gift. We look forward to using it soon.
我们参加了一个熟人的儿子的婚礼。由于我们都不认识那个年轻人和他的新娘,所以我们决定送给他们一个实用的全家礼----一个灭火器。很明显,这对新人大批量制作了他们的感谢信,因为我们收到了一张卡片,上面写着:“非常感谢您的漂亮的结婚礼物,我们期待着不久就用到它。”
A: How ‘bout we try my new “snuff ball” pitch?
A: 试试我新的必杀球怎么样?
B: What’s that?
B: 怎么做的?
A: First, I remove “a pinch ” from between my cheek and my gums…
A: 首先,先把球放在我的脸颊和牙齿中间······ ······
B: That’s enough, I don’t wanna hear the rest
B: 够了,饿哦不想听后面的了。
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笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。大家想快乐每一天吗?一起来看一下这些英语爆笑笑话吧~
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small crowd standing on a corner.
The rookie rolled down his window and said, "Let's get off the corner, people." A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner...NOW!" Intimidated, the group of people began to leave, casting puzzled stares in his direction.
Proud of his first official act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good," chuckled the veteran policemen, "especially since this is a bus stop!"
一名新警察与老警察开着警车第一次出去巡逻。 他们得到命令去疏散一群闲逛的人,于是他们开车去了那条街,看到路口站着一群人。
新警察摇下窗户:“大家注意了,快离开这里。”人们看了他几眼,没理他。他喊起来:“离开这里,马上离开!”大家都不知道怎么回事,但是在他的威胁下还是离开了。
新警察对他第一次执行公务的结果很满意,对老警察说:“我干得怎么样?”“你做得很好,”老警察笑着说,“尤其是在公共汽车站。”
1、Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
老师:为什么你天天早晨都迟到?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
汤姆:每当我经过学校的拐角处,僦看见一个牌子仩写着"学校----慢行".
2、Two Birds 两只鸟
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
Teacher: Please tell us.
老师:请说说看。
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
3、The Fish Net 鱼网
"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"
"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗,安?" 老师发问道。
"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.
"把很多小孔用绳索栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。
4、The New Teacher 新老师
George comes from school on the first of September.
9月1日, 乔治放学回到家里。
"George, how did you like your new teacher?" asked his mother.
"乔治,你喜欢你们的新老师吗?" 妈妈问。
"I didn't like her, Mother, because she said that three and three were six and then she said.
"妈妈,我不喜欢,由于她说3加3得6, 可后来又说2加4也得6。"
that two and four were six too....."
5、A physics Examination 一次物理考试
Once in a physics examination, Nick finished the first question very soon, while his classmates
在一次物理考试时,当同学们都还在苦思冥想时,尼克很快就答好了第一个题目。
were thinking it hard.The question was: When it thunders why do we see the lighting first, then
这个题目是:为什么在打雷时,我们总是先看到闪电后听到雷声?
hear the thunderrolls? Nick's answer: Because our eyes are before ears.
尼克的回答是:由于眼睛在前,耳朵在后。
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笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。下面一起来看一下一些爆笑英语笑话吧。
In music class, the teacher asked Jack: “Please answer me what the oldest musical instrument is.”
音乐课上,老师问杰克:“请回答,世界上最古老的乐器是什么?”
Jack answered unhesitatingly: “It is the accordion.”
杰克坚定地回答:“是手风琴。”
The teacher asked doubtfully: “Why do you say that it is the accordion, yyxhh.com my dear boy?”
老师疑惑地问:“为什么是手风琴呢,英语笑话我可爱的孩子?”
Jack said: “Teacher, don’t you see that the accordion is completely covered by wrinkles.”
杰克说:“老师,您没看见手风琴上全是皱纹吗?”
A blonde went into a pizza parlor(客厅,会客室) . When she said that she'd like a medium pizza, the clerk asked her how many pieces she'd like to have it cut into: six or twelve. Oh, goodness, six please, said the blonde. I don't think I could ever eat twelve.
一位金发女郎走进一家比萨店,她说想要一个中比萨,店员问她希望把比萨切成六块还是十二块。噢,天啊,请帮我切成六块。女郎说,我可不认为我可以吃得下十二块。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑小笑话 带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格,校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸,我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简短幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Several years had passed since I worked for the federal government,but old habits died hard. A cable-television technician had just finished hooking up our service at home and told me he needed the 2185. I hadn't heard about this form before arid asked him," Where can I get that form'2185'"?
我从联邦政府退下来已经好几年了,但有些习惯却很难改掉。一个有线电视的技术工人给我家连接完天线后,对我说他要2185。我以前从没听见这个代号,便问:“我到哪儿能
领到这种表格?”
Looking at me peculiarly, he replied."Ma'am,it's money.$21.85. "
那位工人吃惊地望了我一会儿,说:“夫人,那是钱,21块8毛5。”
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