为您找到与英语幽默笑话300篇相关的共202个结果:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来三年级英语幽默小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
I had iust learned to drive and, like most teen-agers,begged at every opportunity to take over the wheel. During a family vacation my father finally allowed me drive on a long,straight stretch on highway.I was in my glory until there was a sudden turn in the road.Caught unaware, I swung too wide and ran into a service station's advertising sign. I stopped the cat and waited for a lecture.
像大多数的青少年一样,我刚学会开车时,总想利用一切开车的机会。有一次家庭外出度假时,我经过请求,爸爸终于允许我在笔直的高速公路止驾驶。我感到十分荣幸,直到开到了一个急转弯,由于转盘转动得太大,车直奔着加油站的广告牌冲去。我停下了车,等着挨训。
My father,always considerate of his children's feelings,turned back to the rest of family and said. "As long as we're here,does anyone need to use the rest room?"
我的父亲总是考虑到孩子哟情绪,转过身对家里的其他人说:“既然我们已经把车开到了这儿,有人想上厕所吗?”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when
the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.
我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。
"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"
我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”
"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"
客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,
"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "
妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”
"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.
“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。
"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”
“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”
At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.
说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语笑话幽默带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
When the burglar broke into a seemingly empty room one night, a voice suddenly shattered the silence ;"I see you,and the saint sees you. "
一位窃贼一天夜里闯进一个好像没有人的空房子。突然寂静中传来一声:“我看见你了,圣人也看见你了。”
The shaken thief took another tentative step.“I see you,”the voice said again:“and the saint sees you.“With that,the burglar shined his flashlight in the direction that the voice was coming from. There,in the circle of light,sat a parrot.
这位惊恐不安的贼又试图再走一步,那个声音又说:“我看见你了,圣人也看见你了。”听到声音,窃绒用手电照着声音所传来的方向。在那边儿,一束灯光下坐着一只鹦鹉。
"Dumb bird,!'the burglar uttered in relief.
“该死的鸟,”窃贼像松了口气似地骂着。
"I see you,”the parrot repeated,”and the saint sees you. "
“我看见你了。”鹦鹉重复地叨唠着:“圣人也看见你了。”
"Shut up,“the man snarled as he turned on a lamp, that's when he saw the menacing Doberman Pinscher sitting beside the parrot's perch,staring at him with glittering eyes.
“闭嘴,”窃贼边开灯,边喊叫着。这时他发现一条眼光咄咄逼人的构坐在鹦鹉旁。
" Sic' em,Saint,"squawked the parrot.
鹦鹉尖叫着:“圣人,扑呀!扑呀!”
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman,the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral,but he told his brothers to spare no expense,since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商,另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时,有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们,不要舍不得花钱,一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter,the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director,which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense,“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style,we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久,做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票,他付了帐。从这以后,他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇,于是就写信给其兄弟,想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗,所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
I was surprised to learn that my 72-year-old mother dared to drive 900 miles in a 12-year-old car to visit me.When asked how she made out,she told me just fine...until her second night. She had filled the gas tank and didn't have the money for a motel room.
当听说我72岁的母亲居然开着12年的旧车行驶了900英里来看我时,我真有些吃惊。在我问她是如何做的时候,她告诉我她一切都好,只是到了第二天晚上,给汽车加油后却没有住旅馆的钱。
"What did you do?"I asked.
“那你怎么办了?”我问道。
" Well,"she began,“I was driving through this small town and feeling very sleepy. A policeman pulled me over and asked if I had been drinking. When I told him no,he wanted to know why I was weaving all over the road,I explained my situation,’‘Follow me,”he ordered.We then drove to a motel where the nice officer paid for my night's lodging.
她说:“嗨,我开到这个镇子时,感到很困,一位警寨叫住了我。他问我是否喝了酒,我说没喝。警察问我为什么开车在路上打晃晃。于是我解释了我的情况。他命令道:“跟我走。”就这样,我们就开到了一个汽车旅馆。警察替我付了住店费。
"As he was leaving,"Mother continued,”he turned to me and said,I Ma'am,the next time you have to visit your daughter,please take another route.'”
妈妈接着说:“他离开时,转过身,冲着我说:‘夫人,你下次要看儿女时,请走另一条路线吧!’”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A woman complained that her husband constantly hung around the house,doing or saying nothing. To please her, he went to see a psychiatrist.“Just lie down on the couch and we'll talk. "the doctor told him. "If you think of something to say, fine. If not,maybe next time.”
一位妇女总是抱怨其丈夫在家里转来转去,无所事是,为了使老婆高兴,他找到了精神病学专家。“你就躺在沙发上,我们来谈谈。”精神病医生告诉他:“如呆你想起什么就说,没有的话,下次再讲也行。”
The guy got himself comfortable and fell fast asleep. At the end of the hour,the doctor woke hirn up and said,"That will be all for today—$100,please. "The patient paid and left.
这位男士舒适地躺在沙发上,很快就入睡了。到了一小时,大夫唤醒了他说:“今天就到这儿吧,请交100元。”病人付了钱之后就走了,从此,那个人每周三、四来就诊。每次,他总是一句话也不说,光是睡觉,而且每次都付钱。第三周,病人来后坐下,然后又跳了起来。
The man came back every Tuesday and Thursday after that. Each time,he fell asleep without saying a word,but paid the fee. The third week, the patient came in,sat down and then jumped right up again."Aha,", marveled the doctor. "Have you thought of something to say?"
“啊哈!”大夫惊喜道,“你想出要说的话了吗?”
"Yes,do you need a partner ?"
“是的,你需要一个助手吗?”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语的幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
As I waited for my luggage at Atlanta's international airport,I noticed a government agent with a dog sniffing for illegal drugs among the crowd of arriving passengers. A woman next to me also saw the animal at work and noted That it was of mixed breed with long shaggy fur.“I thought those police dogs were supposed to be German shepherds,"she said.
在亚特兰大国际机场等行李时,我注意到一名政府官员带着一条狗。那条狗对所有到来的旅客的物品嗅来嗅去,以防止毒品入境。站在我旁边的妇女也注意到了这条在工作的狗是一条长毛的杂种狗.她说:“我觉得那条警犬可能是条德国的牧羊狗。”
Overhearing her comment,the agent replied,“He is, but he's working undercover.”
那名政府官员听到了这句话,回答说:“它确实是牧羊狗,但是它在做侦探工作.”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默笑话精选带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
An aunt of mine kept a hat by her front door,and whenever the doorbell rang,she would put it on. If it was someone she wished to see,she would remark how lucky it was that she had just come in. If it was someone ahe wanted to avoid .she would say how sorry she was,but she was just going out.
我有个姑妈,她总是在前门旁准备一顶帽子。一旦有人按门铃,她就把那顶帽子戴上。如果来的是她喜欢的客人,她就说真是太巧了,她刚外出回来。如果来的是她不想见的客人,她就说对不起,我正要外出。
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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在繁忙的生活中需要英语笑话来放松我们的心情,下面读文网小编为大家带来放松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
The famous Dr. Smith,dean of Medical College,was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to His Majesty the King.”
医学院院长,著名的史密斯博士被任命为国王的私人医生。于是,他自豪地在他任教的班里的教室里的黑板上写下如下通知:“史密斯教授通知他的学生,他已荣任国王陛下的医生。”
When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon,he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”
当他下午回到教室的时候,发现他的通知下面又加了一行字:“愿上帝保佑国王!
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf,”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了,先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No,Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的,先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好,让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶,在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled,"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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考研英语2024备考复习技巧
考研英语分为英语一,英语二。考研英语一和英语二的题型都有英语知识运用、阅读理解和写作。以下是小编为大家收集的关于考研英语2024备考复习技巧的相关内容,供大家参考!
1、考研英语二的总考试时长是180分钟。
2、第一部分的20个选择题,可以安排20分钟。
3、第二部分的A节安排75分钟,B节安排25分钟。预计总时长是100分钟。
4、第三部分的英译汉,安排20分钟。
5、第四部分的Part A安排15分钟,Part B安排25分钟。预计总时长是40分钟。
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硕士研究生考研英语完型填空题及答案(2024)
为了让考研的同学更高效地复习考研英语,小编考研频道已经整理出了2024年考研英语完型填空试题和答案。如果你正在准备考研,不妨了解一下这些资料,希望它们能对你的备考有所帮助。
考研的考场分配根据考生的所在地以及报考学校等进行安排,在职人员考研时,考场一般都会分配在户籍所在地或工作单位所在地。
考研报考同一学校的考生理论上是分配在一个考点,甚至是同一考场的。考研报考同一学校的相同专业和不同专业是一起考试的。因为考研的考点、考场分配是实行统一管理,采取统一分配的原则,便于管理。
考研考场还有另外的分配方法,是划分考研的考场、考点时先按照各省、各市进行统一划分,然后是按照学校进行划分,再次是按照专业进行划分。
总之就是考研考场怎么分配对于考生的影响不大,考生只需要按照准考证所指示的前往指定考点进行考试即可,并且携带相关证件。
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