为您找到与英语冷笑话简短相关的共200个结果:
笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子:那是什么意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
丈夫:开个玩笑!
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下面是读文网小编整理的简短英语演讲稿,欢迎大家阅读!
the footsteps of the XX world expo is getting closer and closer to us, civilized and harmonious call is still ringing in my ears. shanghai, china obtained the right to host the world expo XX, expo XX shanghai china will be a world event, the development of shanghai's new round of golden opportunity, as it is an important embodiment of our national spirit.
world expo is a great influence and a long history of international activities, is the largest gathering of human beings. people from around the world gathered in one place display their products and skills, boast of their hometown and motherland. expo set the culmination of human civilization, which has a unique appeal, make you feel surging.
world expo is a platform, we are the masters. she put up a platform for us to let the world know us; she built a bridge for us, so we better communicate with the world. this platform may let us display self wantonly. we are the masters here, we have to landlord, let guest experience enthusiasm and happiness.
everyone to contribute for the expo, we are no exception, as a living piece of fertile land in pudong's teachers, we are proud and pride. in the vision of a better tomorrow
, we have to do for the world expo will own a wonderful ability, we have through our hands, warm heart and sincerity to practical action to achieve the commitment of shanghai to the world. we should educate the many students: do not throw garbage anywhere, no spitting, no jaywalking ... ..., hello, thank you frequently mention, let the material on this city with the new york comparable to the spiritual civilization. educate our students to exciting XX, willing to shanghai's future by copies of power, if only planted a small tree, participants in the shanghai world expo foreign guests feel: this is a forest city, pollution-free city, ancient and civilized city. better city, better life! until the time of the XX expo, then, we want to become a glorious volunteers, to changing our foreign friends in shanghai and china's long history, a
bout our education for the world expo will contribute their efforts.
we expect the majority of teachers will be great enthusiasm for the world expo into practical action to meet the world expo, the expo will be a total growth, and the city of development, the development of shanghai devote their efforts to advance hand in hand with shanghai.
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信,先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦,那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后,她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的6则英语冷笑话,希望大家喜欢!
The Reason of Being Late
Teacher: Johnny, why are you late for school every morning?
Johnny: Every time I come to the corner, a guidepost says, 'School -- Go Slow'.
迟到的原因
老师:约翰尼,为什么你每天早晨都迟到?
约翰尼:每当我经过学校附近的拐角处,就见路牌上写着‘学校-缓行’。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语演讲稿带翻译简短,希望对大家有帮助。
My name is XXX, I am a middle school student of XXX sschool. I am so glad to be here and tell you something about our school.
We study in a beautiful school,since the day I came here I have began to love her. 我们学习在一个漂亮的校园里,从我第一天起就深深的喜欢上她
Flowers and trees are the most beautiful things in our school.No matter where you are,you can smell the clean air in our school,when you are tired you also can sit on the chail under the big tree.suddenly you will feel so cool,and at that time you must lose youself in enjoying it.
话花朵和大树是学校最美的东西,不论你在哪你都可以闻到学校里空气的清新味道,当你累了,你同样可以做在大树下的椅子上休息,刹那件你会感觉如此凉爽,那时请尽情享受吧!
And there are also many many good teachers in our school,they teach us so carefully in each calss,and when you meet hard problem they won't stop telling until you understand.So we often have good markes in the examnations.
同样学习有许多好老师他们仔细的教我门每堂课,当你遇到困难,他们会停下来告诉你,知道你会为止所以我们总是在期末考试中取得好成绩
Oh sure the students here are the best, we study hard and live together happily,here you never can see we quarry with each other and hit each other because here is a big warm family.
哦,还有,这里的学生也是最棒的,我们努力的学习并且共同生活,再这里你看不到我们争吵,大家因为我们是一个温暖的大家庭
So many things I will say,but the most important thing is that you come here ,I think you must love our school.Because everyone here loves it!
我有很多的话想说,但是组重要的是你能来到我们学习,我想你也一定喜欢我们学习,因为我们每个人都爱他!
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
代课教师试图运用她的心理学知识。开始上课时,她说:“谁觉得自己很愚蠢,请站起来。”小约翰马上站起来了。老师问:“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢,小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢,只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑冷笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"
就在我开始平安夜祷告时,教堂停电了。教堂里的接待人员和我找到一些蜡烛,把它们放在礼堂周围。然后我重返讲道坛,整理了一下笔记后,我说:“刚才我讲到哪儿了?”传来一阵不耐烦的声音:“马上就讲完了!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.
The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"
在电话中交谈 每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面,然后给他们讲一个故事。一天,他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义,带来了一台电话机。
“你们和别人在电话里交谈,并没有看到电话线另一端的人,对吗?”他开始问道。孩子们点头称是。“好的,和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端,虽然你看不见他,但是他正在聆听你的心声。”
就在这时,一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道:“那他的电话号码是什么?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的一些趣味英语冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Having been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, "Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"
Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said, "So, you want to switch seats?"
婚后已久,我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上,我们正坐在早餐桌旁,我暗示道:“亲爱的,你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗?”
他放下报纸,眼睛直直地望着我:“因此,你想交换座位吗?
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下面是读文网小编整理的有趣英语冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
老师: 这儿有两只鸟,一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子,哪只是麻雀吗?
学生:我指不出,但我知道答案。
老师:请说说看。
学生:燕子旁边的就是麻雀,麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简短的英语幽默笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
-- My uncle has 1000 men under him.
-- He is really somebody. What does he do?
-- A maintenance man in a cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
-- 我叔叔下面有1000个人。
-- 他真是一个大人物。干什么的?
-- 墓地守墓人。
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励志,并不是让弱者取代另一个人成为强者,而是让一个弱者能与强者比肩,拥有实力相当的生命力和创造力。励志,即是唤醒一个人的内在创造力。惟有从内心深处展开的力量,用心灵体验总结出的精华,才是一个人真正获得尊严和自信的途径。下面读文网小编为大家带来简短励志英语谚语,欢迎大家阅读!
1、不挑担子不知重,不走长路不知远。
do not pick the burden do not know, do not go long way i do not know far.
2、一心想赶两只兔,反而落得两手空。
want to catch two rabbits, but ended up with empty hands.
3、鸟惜羽毛虎惜皮,为人处世惜脸皮。
the bird feather xi xi tiger skin, weirenchushi cherish skin.
4、入山不怕伤人虎,只怕人情两面刀。
the mountain is not afraid of hurting the tiger, knives.
5、只有千里的名声,没有千里的威风。
only trinidad's reputation, not thousands of miles.
6、该放手时就放手,得饶人处且饶人。
to let go, lenient wherever it is possible.
7、伶俐人一拨三转,糊涂人棒打不回。
a wise man of three, who was not confused.
8、当家才知盐米贵,出门才晓路难行。
alone knows salt rice, go out to know the road is difficult.
9、药农进山见草药,猎人进山见禽兽。
in order to see into the mountain herbs, the hunter into the mountains to see the animals.
10、碾谷要碾出米来,说话要说出理来。
grain to grind rice, to tell me to speak.
11、狗咬人,有药治;人咬人,没药医。
the dogs have medicine to cure; one bite, myrrh medicine.
12、一时强弱在于力,万古胜负在于理。
a strong force is eternal, is the outcome of science.
13、一好遮不了百丑,百好遮不了一丑。
a good cover can not be a hundred ugly, good cover not a ugly.
14、万句言语吃不饱,一捧流水能解渴。
000 words do not have enough to eat, a handful of water to quench their thirst.
15、天不生无用之人,地不长无名之草。
heaven is not a useless man, the grass is not long.
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默冷笑话翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A husband and wife, both 91, stood before a judge, asking for a divorce. "I don't understand," He said, "Why do you want a divorce at this time of life?"
The husband explained, "Well, you see, we wanted to wait until the children died."
有一个丈夫和妻子都是91岁,他们站在法官面前,要求离婚。“我不明白,”法官说,“你们为什么到了这把年纪还要离婚?”
丈夫解释道:“嗯,你是知道的,我们想要等到孩子们都死了。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简短幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Several years had passed since I worked for the federal government,but old habits died hard. A cable-television technician had just finished hooking up our service at home and told me he needed the 2185. I hadn't heard about this form before arid asked him," Where can I get that form'2185'"?
我从联邦政府退下来已经好几年了,但有些习惯却很难改掉。一个有线电视的技术工人给我家连接完天线后,对我说他要2185。我以前从没听见这个代号,便问:“我到哪儿能
领到这种表格?”
Looking at me peculiarly, he replied."Ma'am,it's money.$21.85. "
那位工人吃惊地望了我一会儿,说:“夫人,那是钱,21块8毛5。”
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一些有趣的英语故事,能够吸引少儿阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些少儿英语简短小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Jake was always sick. He repeatedly got infections—mostly colds or the flu—from patients. He considered himself lucky to be alive, considering what he’d read about deadly bacteria and viruses that were developing immunity to all the latest drugs. A hospital is a dangerous place. He wanted out of the hospital, but he had nowhere to go. He was no spring chicken. The pay, benefits, and hours were good. His schedule regularly included three- or four-day weekends.
But, he was just going through the same motions, day after day. He was at the top of the ladder for an orderly. There were no other jobs that he could qualify for, unless he wanted to go to school for several years to become a tech or a registered nurse. But those jobs would mean working in a hospital. He wanted out.
He wished he had stayed with his old job as an assistant pro at Brookside Golf Course. The pay was low and the benefits were few, but the game of golf was his passion. He loved teaching the game to others. He was a happy man when he worked at the golf course—the freshly mowed green grass, the blue sky, the white clouds. Not a sick person in sight—only healthy people, enjoying themselves. Why had he quit that job, he wondered over and over. Ten years ago, he must have had a good reason, but he sure couldn’t remember what it was now. His life was now a constant regret about the poorest decision he had ever made.
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有目标的人生才有方向,有规划的人生才更精彩。还想欣赏更多励志名言的话,就不要错过下面读文网小编为大家带来的简短英语励志名言句子,欢迎大家学习阅读!
1、一份耕耘,份收获,努力越大,收获越多。
no pains, a harvest, the greater the effort, the more harvest.
2、生前的赞扬往往虚假,死后的议论常常真实。
lifetime praise often false, after the discussion is often true.
3、我们必须拿我们所有的,去换我们所没有的。
we must take all of us, for we don't have.
4、有志者自有千计万计,无志者只感千难万难。
aspirants have thousands thousands, no minds only feeling extremely difficult.
5、很多人失败的原因不是钱太少,而是钱太多。
a lot of people are the cause of the failure is not so little money, but money too much.
6、没有一颗珍珠的闪光,是靠别人涂抹上去的。
no spark of a pearl, is to rely on others to apply.
7、相信自己,相信伙伴。把握先机,容易成功。
believe in yourself, believe that partner. grasp the opportunities, easy to success.
8、对于最有能力的领航人风浪总是格外的汹涌。
for the most capable pilot of the winds and waves are always very rough.
9、从未遇到过艰险的人,是不需要什么但量的。
never encountered dangerous people, it is not need anything but the amount of.
10、善待他人,体谅他人,热爱生命,努力生活。
when you're good to others, considerate of other people, love life, and strive to life.
11、路,是自己走出来的;机会是自己创造出来的。
road, is his own come out; opportunity is created.
12、成功从不会放弃任何人,只有你放弃成功罢了。
success never give up on anybody, only you give up success.
13、有目标的人生才有方向,有规划的人生才更精彩。
have goals in life have a direction, there is plan of life is more wonderful.
14、不向前走,不知路远;不努力学习,不明白真理。
don't go, don't know road far. don't study hard, don't know the truth.
15、积极思考造成积极人生,消极思考造成消极人生。
cause a positive life, positive thinking negative thoughts lead negative life.
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青春像只唱着歌的鸟儿,已从残冬窗里闯出来,驶放宝蓝的穹窿里去了。想收藏更多名人名言,就不要错过下面读文网小编为大家带来简短英语名人名言,欢迎大家阅读欣赏!
1、当一个人用工作去迎接光明,光明很快就会来照耀着他。——冯学峰
When a man use work to welcome the light, the light will soon come over him.
2、种瓜得瓜,种豆得豆。种下优惠的友情,得到仁惠的友情。——郭沫若
As you sow, so shall you reap. Plant a favorable friendship, get RenHui friendship.
3、最不会叹息的人是最年轻的人,句子大全http://Www.1juzI.coM/是有时间调整生活的人。——杜·伽尔
The most won't sigh people is one of the most young people, is the person who has time to adjust the life.
4、你因成功而内心充满喜悦的时候,就没有时间颓废。——弗兰克·迈耶
Your heart with joy, with success, there is no time to decadent.
5、忠诚可以简练地定义为对不可能的情况的一种不合逻辑的信仰。——门肯
Loyalty can be neatly defined as of a possible illogical belief.
6、我们可以由读书搜集知识,但必须利用思考把糠和麦子分开。——富斯德
We can read books by gathering knowledge, but must use thinking to separate bran and wheat.
7、过分冷静的思考缺乏感情的冲动,也必然使人的心理变态。——瓦西列夫
Too calm thinking about the lack of emotional impulse, psychopaths must also make a person.
8、给青年人最好的忠告是让他们谦逊谨慎,孝敬父母,爱戴亲友。——西塞罗
Give young people the best advice is to let their humility cautious, show filial obedience parents, love relatives and friends.
9、毫无经验的初恋是迷人的,但经得起考验的爱情是无价的。——马尔林斯基
No experience of first love is charming, but stand the test of love is priceless.
10、成功就是当洋溢的生命力突然冲决堤坝而汇入一条合适的渠道。——何怀宏
Success is when overflow vitality suddenly burst dam and into an appropriate channels.
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