为您找到与英文短小笑话相关的共200个结果:
从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来愚人节英文笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Hotheaded Naked Ice Borer1995: Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.
1995年愚人节。探索杂志著名野生动物学家Aprile Pazzo博士在南极洲发现了一种新生物:热性裸体凿冰虫。这种生物的头上有盘状骨头,血液丰富,温度很高,因此能够穿透冰层。他们以此来捕食企鹅。 Pazzo博士同时声称,经过详细调查,这种动物与1837年南极探险家Philippe Poisson的失踪有关:“对这种虫来说,他可能长得像企鹅。”探索杂志上还从来没有哪篇文章得到如此多的读者反馈。
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的愚人节英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文小笑话精选精选,希望大家喜欢!
Once asimpleton’s wife told him to buy some ice.
Two hourslater, he didn’t come back. She wanted to know why he didn’t come back and wentout to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watchingthe ice melting.
“What’s thematter?” She asked him. “Why don’t you bring it in?”
“I saw the icewas wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry.” Thesimpleton answered.
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来愚人节英文笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。
塔可钟快餐公司说他们买下了美国费城独立厅的大钟,并重命名为塔可自由钟。愤怒的市民打电话给费城的国家历史公园,要求确认这个消息。几小时后塔可钟快餐公司承认这只是个玩笑。当天最乌龙的事件还不在此。白宫记者会秘书Mike McCurry被问到这件事时,随机应变回答说,林肯纪念碑也被卖了,现在被命名为福特水星汽车纪念碑。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement
community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be
moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有 65 岁的话,
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西
或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英文笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one, use your hat."
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的,”他妈妈安慰说:“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪?”
“我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英文小笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A man was telling a story to his son, a four-year-old boy. The boy noticed a lock of gray hair on his father's head and asked: "Why are some of your gray, papa?"
"Papa will get a gray hair every time his little boy is naughty," said his father, thinking to take the advantage of this opportunity to give him a moral lesson.
The boy thought for a moment, and then naively said: "Oh, I see why my grandpapa has a lot of gray hair on his head. I think he must have had very naughty boys."
有个人给他的儿子,一个4岁的男孩讲故事。小男孩注意到他父亲的头上有一缕白发,就问道:“爸爸,你的头发怎么是白的?”
他的父亲想趁机给他上一堂教育课,就回答说:“爸爸的小男孩每顽皮一次,爸爸头上就会长出一根白头发。”
小男孩沉思了一下,就天真地说:“哦,我知道爷爷为什么有那么多白头发了。我想他的儿子们一定也非常顽皮。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英文笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don“t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?
父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话,以供大家阅读。
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英文爆笑笑话, 希望对大家有帮助。
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house, only a few huts made of wood, or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes,”he said.“Rain is coming, and wind.Then there will be snow for two days, but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me,”he said,“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied,“I heard it on the radio.”
有两个人在美洲一个非常荒凉偏僻的地区旅行。好多天来,他们连所房子也没看到,只看见几个木棚子和皮帐篷。一天,他们遇到一个靠猎取兽皮谋生的印第安老人。他们发现他懂得他们的语言,就和他聊了一会儿。其中一个人问他,能否告知近几天的天气如何。 “哦,行啊”,他说。“就要下雨了,还要刮风。接着还得下两天雪。这以后,就是大晴天了。” “这不是太神奇了吗?”一个旅行者对他的朋友说。“这些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密,比我们有科学知识的人知道的还多。他们并没有被现代文明所迷惑。”接着他转向印第安老人: “请问,”他说,“你是怎么知道这一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道:“我是从无线电里听来的。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英文笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
“You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?” he began. The children nodded yes. “Well, talking to God is
like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though.”
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, “What's his number?”
每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面,然后给他们讲一个故事。一天,他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义,带来了一台电话机。
“你们和别人在电话里交谈,并没有看到电话线另一端的人,对吗?”他开始问道。孩子们点头称是。“好的,和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端,虽然你看不见他,但是他正在聆听你的心声。”
就在这时,一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道:“那他的电话号码是什么?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英文幽默笑话中文翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb:
Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the
proverb, too?"
一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。
“没有关系,”一位先生说,“不用害怕,你知道这条谚语吗:‘吠狗不咬人。’”
“啊,我是知道,可是狗也知道吗?”
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下面小编给大家整理的英文爆笑笑话六篇,希望大家会喜欢。
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"两便士"
"不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童幽默英文笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director's office.
What is the meaning of this? the director asked. When you applied for the job, you told us you had five years' experience. Now we discover this is the first job you ever held.
Well, the young man said, in your advertisement you said you wanted somebody with imagination.
一个年轻人在被雇用几个星期后,被叫到人事经理的办公室。
这是什么意思?经理问,当你申请这份工作时,你告诉我们有五年工作经验,现在我们发现这其实是你的第一份工作。
嗯,年轻人回答,你们的广告上说需要找一个有想象力的人嘛。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中简单英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.
The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."
"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
在一个很多人参加的会议中,刚开始演讲者说得非常有趣,但渐渐地,他说得越来越令人厌烦.结果,当会议结束的时候,大会议室里只剩一个人了.
演讲者走过去跟那个人说:”谢谢你,其他人都走了,只有你还在听我说.”
“噢,别客气.”那个人回答说,”我不走,是因为我是下一位演讲者!”
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话6篇,以供大家阅读。
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生,我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答:“哦,是这样,我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话,就别想保住我的工作!”
英文爆笑笑话
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【英文笑话】:承诺或威胁 Promise or Threat
“My friend, I say I had some trouble.” A man said to his friend, “Yesterday I had words with my wife. After that she punched the door and rushed out angrily with the word that she would live with her mother. Please help me. Is this a promise or a threat?”
一名男子跟他朋友说:“我的朋友,我遇到了一些麻烦。昨天我和妻子吵架,她生气夺门而出,并说以后将会和她的母亲一起住。请帮我分析一下这是承诺还是威胁?”
“Do you think there are differences between the two?” his friend asked.
他朋友回答道:“你觉得这两者之间有什么区别吗?”
“Yes, quite a lot. If it is a promise, that means that my wife is sure to be with her mother, and if a threat, that my mother-in-law will move and live with us.
“是的,区别非常大。如果这是一个承诺,那就意味着我的妻子肯定要和她的母亲一起生活,可如果这是一个威胁,那我的岳母就会搬来跟我们一起住了。”
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Every night, after dinner, a man took off for the local tavern. He spent the whole evening there, and arrived home very drunk around midnight each night.
He always had trouble getting his key into the keyhole and getting the door opened. His wife, waiting up for him, would go to the door and let him in. Then she would proceed to yell and scream at him, for his constant nights out, and coming home in a drunken state. But, Harry continued his nightly routine.
One day, the wife was talking to a friend about her husband's behavior, and was particularly distraught by it all.
The friend listened to her, and then said, "Why don't you treat him a little differently, when he comes home? Instead of berating him, why don't you give him some loving words, and welcome him home with a kiss? He then might change his ways."
The wife thought that might be a good idea.
That night, Harry took off again, after dinner. And, about midnight, he arrived home, in his usual condition.
His wife heard him at the door, and quickly went to it, and opened the door, and let Harry in.
This time, instead of berating him, as she had always done, she took his arm, and led him into the living room. She sat him down in an easy chair, put his feet up on the ottoman and took his shoes off. Then she went behind him, and started to cuddle him a little. After a little while, she said to him, "It's pretty late, dear. I think we had better go upstairs to bed, now, don't you think?"
At that, Harry replied, in his inebriated state, "I guess we might as well. I'll be getting in trouble with the stupid wife when I get home anyway!
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