为您找到与英文爆笑笑话相关的共200个结果:
下面小编给大家整理的英文爆笑笑话六篇,希望大家会喜欢。
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for the price of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no, " said the barber, "I will give you a penny, and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."
卖扫帚的人和理发师
一个卖扫帚的人去一家理发店修面.理发师向他买了一把扫帚.当理发师给他修完面后,问了一下扫帚的价钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"两便士"
"不,不"理发师说,"我只出一便士.如果你认为不够的话,可以把扫帚拿回去."
卖扫帚的人取回了扫帚,随后问修面要付多少钱.
卖扫帚的人说:"我只能给你半个便士,如果你认为不够的话,你可以把胡子再替我装上."
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下面是读文网小编整理的英文爆笑笑话, 希望对大家有帮助。
The Indian Who Could Foretell the Weather Two men were travelling in a very wild and lonely part of America. For days they had not even seen a house, only a few huts made of wood, or tents made of skins. Then one day they met an old Indian who earned his living by trapping animals for heir fur. They found that he knew their language and they had a little conversation with him. One of them asked him if he could tell them what the weather would be like within the next few days. “Oh yes,”he said.“Rain is coming, and wind.Then there will be snow for two days, but after that there will be bright sunshine.” “Is n't that wonderful?” said one man to his friend.“These old Indians know more of the secrets of Nature than we do with all our science. They have not been spoiled by civilization.” Then he turned to the old Indian. “Tell me,”he said,“how you knew all that.” The Indian replied,“I heard it on the radio.”
有两个人在美洲一个非常荒凉偏僻的地区旅行。好多天来,他们连所房子也没看到,只看见几个木棚子和皮帐篷。一天,他们遇到一个靠猎取兽皮谋生的印第安老人。他们发现他懂得他们的语言,就和他聊了一会儿。其中一个人问他,能否告知近几天的天气如何。 “哦,行啊”,他说。“就要下雨了,还要刮风。接着还得下两天雪。这以后,就是大晴天了。” “这不是太神奇了吗?”一个旅行者对他的朋友说。“这些印第安老人深知大自然的秘密,比我们有科学知识的人知道的还多。他们并没有被现代文明所迷惑。”接着他转向印第安老人: “请问,”他说,“你是怎么知道这一切的呢?” 印第安老人答道:“我是从无线电里听来的。”
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话,以供大家阅读。
Unexpected guests were on the way, and my mother, an impeccable housekeeper, rushed around straightening up. She put my father and brother to work cleaning the guest bathroom. Later, when she went to inspect it, she was surprised that the once-cluttered room had been tidied up so quickly. Then she saw the note on the closed shower curtains. It read "Thank you for not looking in the bathtub."
不速之客就在路上,我妈妈,一个完美的家庭主妇,正忙里忙外地整理。她分配给我爸和我哥哥的任务是打扫供客人使用的浴室。一会儿之后,当她去检查的时候,她吃惊了,曾经一度杂乱的房间瞬间就被打扫干净了。接着她看到浴帘上有一张纸条,纸条上写着:“谢谢你没往浴缸里看。”
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话6篇,以供大家阅读。
The patient is adamant. "Doc, I need a liver transplant, a kidney transplant, a heart transplant, a cornea transplant, a spleen transplant, a pancreas trans. . ." "What makes you think you need all these?" Well, replied the patient, "My boss said if I wanted to keep my job I needed to get reorganized."
这个病人显得很坚决。“医生,我需要做肝脏移植、肾脏移植、心脏移植、角膜移植、脾脏移植、胰腺移植和……” “你为什么认为你需要做这么多移植手术?”病人回答:“哦,是这样,我的老板说如果我这个人不重新组装的话,就别想保住我的工作!”
英文爆笑笑话
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下面是读文网小编整理的英文爆笑笑话, 希望大家喜欢。
A wealthy old lady who lived near Dr.Swift used to send him presents occasionally by her servant.Dr.Swift took her presents but never gave the boy anything for his trouble.One day as Swift was busy with his writing, the boy rushed into his room, knocked some books out of their place, threw his parcelon the desk and said,“ my mistress has sent you two of herrab bits.” Swift turned round and said,“My boy, that is not the way to deliver your parcel.Now, you sit in my chair,watch my way of doing it and learn your lesson.” The boy sat down. Swift went out, knocked on his door and waited. The boy said“Come in.” The doctor entered,walked to his desk and said,“If you please sir, my mistress sends her kind regards and hopes you will accept these rabbits which her son shot this morning in her fields.” The boy answered,“Thank you, my boy, Give your mistress and her son my thanks for their kindness and here is two shillings for yourself.” The Doctor laughed, and after that, Swift never forgot to give the boy his tip.
在斯威夫特博士家附近,有一位富有的老妇人,她时常打发仆人给他送礼物。斯威夫特博士接受她的礼物,但从不给小厮任何酬谢。一天,斯威夫特博士正忙着写东西,小厮冲进了他的房间,把书一扒拉,将一个包裹扔在书桌上,说道:“我的女主人送给你两只兔子。” 斯威夫特转过身来说:“孩子,包裹可不是这样送法呀。现在,你坐在我的椅子上,看看我是怎么送的,并要记取这个教训。” 小厮坐了下来,斯威夫特走出去,敲了敲门,等待回音。小厮说“进来”。博士进了门,走到桌旁说道:“先生,我的女主人向您致以亲切的问候,并希望您收下这些兔子,这是她儿子今天早晨在地里打的。” 小厮回答说:“谢谢你,我的孩子。向你的女主人和她的儿子致谢,谢谢他们的关心。这两个先令是送给你本人的。” 博士笑了,打那以后,斯威夫特从没忘记送小费给小厮。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英文爆笑笑话, 希望大家会喜欢。
A pig and a chicken were walking by a church where a gala(欢庆的) charity event was taking place.
Getting caught up in the spirit, the pig suggested to the chicken that they each make a contribution.
"Great idea!" the chicken cried."Let's offer hem1 ham and eggs?"
"Not so fast," said the pig testily2. "For you, that's a contribution. For me, it's a total commitment."
一只猪和一只鸡路过一所教堂,那里有一场盛大慈善活动正在进行着。
在精神上收到触动的猪向小鸡提出建议:他们每个人作出点自己的贡献。
“好主意!”鸡尖叫道,“让我们给腿和鸡蛋吧?”
“着什么急”猪不耐烦地说,“对你来说,是一个贡献,对我来说,这是一个完全的献身。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
无礼的问题
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请,参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下,小女孩坐在柔软的草地上,一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕,一边对贵妇人说:你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃,呃,不,他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作,夫人回答说,他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有,孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说,怎么会呢,夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样,当她们到我们家做客的时候,她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英文笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don“t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?
父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:
候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人,当医生传唤他时,
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"
他满面愁容的说:“医生,怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”
"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"
医生回答他說:“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A bit of advice for those about to retire. If you are only 65, never move to a retirement
community. Everybody else is n their 70s, 80s, or 90s. So when something has to be
moved, lifted or loaded, they yell,"Get the kid."
这里想对将要退休者提一点忠告。如果你只有 65 岁的话,
千万别进退休社区。因为那里人人都七八十岁或者八九十岁了。每当要搬东西,抬东西
或者装东西时,他们就叫喊,“让小的干吧。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
The bus is very crowded.Aman tries to get on,but no one gives way to him.
"Hey,let me get on the bus."the man shouts.
"It's too crowded.You'd better take the next bus."a passenger says to him.
"But you can't go withou me.I'm the driver."the man says.
公共汽车上很拥挤.一位男士想上车,但是没有人给他让路.
"喂,让我上车!"那位男士喊道.
"车太挤了,你最好坐下一辆"车上的一位乘客对他说.
"但是没有我你们走不了.我是司机!"那位男士说道.
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英文小笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A man was telling a story to his son, a four-year-old boy. The boy noticed a lock of gray hair on his father's head and asked: "Why are some of your gray, papa?"
"Papa will get a gray hair every time his little boy is naughty," said his father, thinking to take the advantage of this opportunity to give him a moral lesson.
The boy thought for a moment, and then naively said: "Oh, I see why my grandpapa has a lot of gray hair on his head. I think he must have had very naughty boys."
有个人给他的儿子,一个4岁的男孩讲故事。小男孩注意到他父亲的头上有一缕白发,就问道:“爸爸,你的头发怎么是白的?”
他的父亲想趁机给他上一堂教育课,就回答说:“爸爸的小男孩每顽皮一次,爸爸头上就会长出一根白头发。”
小男孩沉思了一下,就天真地说:“哦,我知道爷爷为什么有那么多白头发了。我想他的儿子们一定也非常顽皮。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英文小笑话精选精选,希望大家喜欢!
Once asimpleton’s wife told him to buy some ice.
Two hourslater, he didn’t come back. She wanted to know why he didn’t come back and wentout to have a look. She saw he was standing in the sun at the gate and watchingthe ice melting.
“What’s thematter?” She asked him. “Why don’t you bring it in?”
“I saw the icewas wet and I was afraid that you would scold me so I’m running it dry.” Thesimpleton answered.
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "hey!"
Daughter: "your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸:“爸爸很累啦,你夸我两句吧,你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿:“老郑!”
老爸:“哎!”
女儿:“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的爆笑英语笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话集锦,欢迎大家阅读!
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.
一名参观动物园的游客注意到一名饲养员正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他问是怎么回事,别人告诉他大象死了。
"Fond of him,was he?"the visitor asked.
“他很喜欢那头大象,是吧?”游客问道。
"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."
“并非如此,”那人回答说,“他负责给大象挖墓穴。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来愚人节英文笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
The Taco Bell Corporation announced it had bought the Liberty Bell and was renaming it the Taco Liberty Bell. Hundreds of outraged citizens called the National Historic Park in Philadelphia where the bell was housed to express their anger. Their nerves were only calmed when Taco Bell revealed, a few hours later, that it was all a practical joke. The best line of the day came when White House press secretary Mike McCurry was asked about the sale. Thinking on his feet, he responded that the Lincoln Memorial had also been sold. It would now be known, he said, as the Ford Lincoln Mercury Memorial。
塔可钟快餐公司说他们买下了美国费城独立厅的大钟,并重命名为塔可自由钟。愤怒的市民打电话给费城的国家历史公园,要求确认这个消息。几小时后塔可钟快餐公司承认这只是个玩笑。当天最乌龙的事件还不在此。白宫记者会秘书Mike McCurry被问到这件事时,随机应变回答说,林肯纪念碑也被卖了,现在被命名为福特水星汽车纪念碑。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来愚人节英文笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Hotheaded Naked Ice Borer1995: Discover Magazine reported that the highly respected wildlife biologist Dr. Aprile Pazzo had found a new species in Antarctica: the hotheaded naked ice borer. These fascinating creatures had bony plates on their heads that, fed by numerous blood vessels, could become burning hot, allowing the animals to bore through ice at high speeds. They used this ability to hunt penguins, melting the ice beneath the penguins and causing them to sink downwards into the resulting slush where the hotheads consumed them. After much research, Dr. Pazzo theorized that the hotheads might have been responsible for the mysterious disappearance of noted Antarctic explorer Philippe Poisson in 1837. "To the ice borers, he would have looked like a penguin," the article quoted her as saying. Discover received more mail in response to this article than they had received for any other article in their history.
1995年愚人节。探索杂志著名野生动物学家Aprile Pazzo博士在南极洲发现了一种新生物:热性裸体凿冰虫。这种生物的头上有盘状骨头,血液丰富,温度很高,因此能够穿透冰层。他们以此来捕食企鹅。 Pazzo博士同时声称,经过详细调查,这种动物与1837年南极探险家Philippe Poisson的失踪有关:“对这种虫来说,他可能长得像企鹅。”探索杂志上还从来没有哪篇文章得到如此多的读者反馈。
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的愚人节英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英文笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
"All the kids make fun of me," the boy cried to his mother, "They say I have a big head."
"Don't listen to them," his mother comforted him, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
"Where's the shopping bag?"
"I haven't got one, use your hat."
“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑,”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的,”他妈妈安慰说:“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了,别哭了,去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪?”
“我没有购物袋,就用你的帽子吧。”
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