为您找到与精彩笑话三则相关的共200个结果:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国最新风趣笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
One day a student was taking a very difficult essay exam. At the end of the test, the professor asked all the students to put their pencils down and immediately hand in their tests. The young man kept writing furiously,although he was warned that if he did not stop immediately he would be disqualified. He ignored the warning, finished the test 10 minutes later, and went to hand the test to his instructor. The instructor told him he would not take the test.
一天,一个学生正在参加一个非常难的论文考试。考试结束了,教授让所有的学生放下铅笔,把他们的试卷交上来。但是他仍旧在不停地写。无论教授怎么警告他,甚至说如果不马上停笔的话就取消他的考试资格。这个学生仍旧在不停地答卷。十分钟后他写完了,但是教授拒绝收他的试卷。
The student asked, "Do you know who l am?"
这个学生问:“你知道我是谁吗?”
The professor said,"No and I don’t care.
教授严肃地回答说:“不,我也不想知道你是谁。”学生继续追问说:“你真的不知道我是谁?”
The student asked again,"Are you sure you don't know who I am?"
教授说不知道。
The professor again said no. So the student walked over to the pile of tests, placed his in the middle,then threw the papers in the air.
然后,这个学生走到那堆试卷前,把他的试卷塞到了那堆试卷的中间,然后把它们全抛向了空中。
"Good.” the student said, and walked out. He passed
“太好了。”学生说完就离开了。他考试通过了。
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来地道英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A lawyer finds himself at the Pearly Gates at the same time as the pope.
一位律师发现他和某教宗一起到达天堂的珍珠门,
Both men are allowed to enter heaven,
两个人都被允许进入天堂。
and the lawyer is ensconced in a magnificent mansion.
律师被安置在一间豪华的别墅,
But he sees that the pope is housed in a far more humble dwelling.
但他却见到教宗被安排住在非常简陋的住所。
Unable to restrain his curiosity,the lawyer asks St.Peter about it.
由于好奇心的驱使,律师问圣彼得其中原委。
“Well, you see,” replies St. Peter, "we have dozens of popes up here, but we-ve never had a lawyer before. "
“哦,你看我们这里有好几十位教宗,可是你却是第一个上天堂的律师呢!”圣彼得答道。
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的地道英语笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来趣味经典双语笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
A man went to the doctor complaining of insomnia.
有一个男的去看医生,诉说着失眠的苦恼。
The doctor gave him a thorough examination,
医生给他做了一次完整的检查,
found absolutely nothing physically wrong with him,
完全找不到他身体有任何毛病,
and then told him,
然后告诉他;
"Listen,if you ever expect to cure your insomnia,you just have to stop taking your troubles to bed with you."
“你听好,如果你希望治疗好你的失眠,你就必须停止把你的烦恼跟着你带上床。”
"I know" said the man, "but I can't.My wife refuses to sleep alone."
这个男的说:“我知道呀,但是我没办法呀,我老婆不肯一个人睡嘛!”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默笑话,希望大家喜欢!
Three stood by the golden gate and St. Peter said,St. Peter said, “sorry,we' re all filled up, so only one of you can come into heaven. So, out of you three, the one who had the most tragic death of all may enter the heaven.”
三个男人站在天堂门外,圣彼得说:“对不起,我们这里已经人满为患你们中只有一个人能够进人天堂。所以,你们三个人当中死得最惨的那个才能进入。”
The first man spoke, "well,I am a newlywed and I tend to get jealous of my wife and her male friends, so I forbid her to see any of them when I was at work. But today I came home early and saw two wine glasses on the coffee table and when I asked my wife what was going on, she blushed and was silent. I searched the entire house for her male friend and finally I spotted someone’s hands grasping the railing on our balcony. In a fit of rage I stomped on the hands until the rascal fell 15 stories down into the bin below. When I realized he was still alive, I unhooked my fridge and throw it over the railing. In the process of doing this, I had a heart attack.”
第一个人说:“我刚结婚不久,很嫉妒我的妻子和他的男性朋友,所以在我上班的时候,我禁止她见任何的男性朋友。但是今天我回家较早,看见咖啡桌上放着两个葡萄酒杯,当我问妻子发生了什么事情的时候,她红着脸不说话。我搜遍了整个屋子想找出那个男人,最后发现有个人的手抓住了我家
凉台的栏杆。我对着那双手就是一阵狂踢,直到那个流氓从十五楼上掉下去,可惜下面正好有一堆纸箱,当我得知他还活着时,就搬起家里的冰箱从阳台上向下砸去,然后就突发心脏病身亡。”
St. Peter replied, "wow, that's too bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“噢,够惨的。下一个?”
The second man began to speak,` I am a window washer and I was minding my own business and washing the seventeenth story windows at an apartment when my safety rope snapped and I began to fa11.I reached out and in a stroke of luck on to a balcony railing on the fifteenth. I was trying to catch my breath and wait it for someone to rescue me when some lunatic started to stomp on my hands until I lost my grip and fell into the bin below. I opened my eye in disbelief only to see a fridge come crashing down onto my head.”
第二个人说:“我是一个窗户清洁工,一天我正在清洗公寓十七楼的窗户,安全带不幸突然崩断,我开始坠落,但幸运的是我抓住了十五楼阳台的栏杆,我屏住了呼吸等着人来救我,突然有个神经病人乱踢我的手,直到我失手掉进下面的一堆纸箱。我睁开眼睛一看,一个冰箱正朝我的头上砸来。”
St. Peter replied: "my, my. . . that is bad. Next?"
圣彼得说:“哎哟,……够惨的。下一个?”
The third man spoke last, "well, I was hiding in the fridge when. . .”
第三个最后说:“哎,我当时正藏在冰箱里,突然……”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英文笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don“t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I”ve saved you a meal, haven“ I?
父亲:噢,杰克,你又睡了一上午。难道你不知道你这是在浪费时间吗?
杰克:我知道,爸爸。可我还给您节省了一顿饭呢,是不是?
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味笑话三则英语,欢迎大家阅读!
Two friends were having lunch at a café in new York's Grand Central Terminal. They noticed a man sitting alone at an adjoining table. When the waitress approached him, they overheard her ask, "Are you waiting to be joined by a tall, thin woman with long, blond hair?" He answered, "In the large scheme of my life, yes, but today I'm meeting my wife."
两个朋友在纽约市汽车中心总站的一家咖啡厅里吃午饭。 他们注意到一个男人独自坐在邻桌。当服务员小姐走向他时,无意中听到她问那个男人:“你是在等一位个子很高,很瘦,留长发,皮肤很白的金发女人吗?” 那人回答说:“在我生活的长远规划中,我是在等。但是今天,我却是在等我的妻子。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选儿童英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
My cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives himcrazy.
One day, she found the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator.
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."
我表妹总是从她哥哥的小猪扑满里“借钱”,她哥哥对此事感到很愤怒。
一天,表妹四处寻找,最后竟然在冰箱里发现了扑满。
扑满里有张纸条:“亲爱的妹妹,我希望你能够理解,我的资产现在已被冻结。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国风趣幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
BBC World Service announcer: "A Palestinian suicide bomber has struck again in the Northern town of Afula in Israel killing at least four people and wounding several more. The Israeli army has responded by. . ."
英国广播公司世界新闻:“一名巴勒斯坦自杀性爆炸者在以色列北部小镇阿夫拉又一次引发爆炸,造成至少四人死亡多人受伤。以色列军队决定对此做出反应……”
Rick, bored, while I worked out his Algebra problem for him: "Can't they catch the guy who's doing all this bombing?
当我给我的儿子雷克做他的代数题的时候,雷克无聊的问我:“他们能抓住做所有这些事的那个人吗?”
Me: "Uh. . . er. . . well, might not be the same guy. I think they might be getting names confused, you know, they got a lot of similar sounding names there一a lot of Mohammad's. "
我说:“这个嘛,也许不是同一个人。我觉得他们也许把名字搞混了。你知道吗?他们有许多人的名字听上去都差不多,都是叫穆罕默德什么的。”
Rick: "Oh.”
雷克:“噢。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松生活英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A male crab(螃蟹)met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately. The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married." "Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走。哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。 第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。” “哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
There seems to be many more widows than widowers in my community. So it was nice to see a couple I know, married 51 years, doing their weekly food shopping together at our local market.
我住的那一带,寡妇似乎要比鳏夫多得多。因此,看到我认识的一对结婚已经51年的夫妇,每周一次一起在当地的商场里采购食品,真让人感到高兴。
He pushed the grocery cart as his wife, shopping list in hand placed each item in- side. When they went to the counter, she discovered that she had forgotten to pick up a package of prunes.
丈夫推着购物车,妻子手里拿着购物单,将每一样东西放进车里。当他们最后快要去结帐时,妻子发现她忘了拿上一盒话梅。
"You get the eggs and milk,”she told her husband. "I' 11 go back for the prunes and then catch up with you.”
“你去拿鸡蛋和牛奶,”她告诉丈夫。“我去取话梅,然后来追你。”
A few minutes later, prunes in hand, she found her husband in conversation with a woman of about her age. She listened to them for a minute as she approached the cart,then tossed in the prunes.
几分钟以后,她手里拿着话梅回来时,发现她的丈夫正在和一个年纪和她差不多的女人谈话。她向购物车走过去,听他们讲了一会儿,然后将话梅丢进车里。
Annoyed, the woman nudged her aside, whispering,"Get lost. He's mine!"
那个女人被激怒了,将她推到一边,低声说道:“走开,他是我的!”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国英语趣味笑话,希望大家喜欢!
A couple who have been married for 20 years is preparing for bed when the following conversation takes place. . .
一对已经结婚20年的夫妇正准备睡觉,然后就有了下面这段对话:
She: "Honey, if I die before you, would you remarry?"
妻子:亲爱的,如果我死在你前面了,你会再婚吗?
He: "That's a morbid question!”
丈夫:这是个可怕的问题。
She: "No, I really want to know.”
妻子:可我真的想知道!
He (pauses to think): "Yes, I suppose after a decent amount of time I might Remarry.”
丈夫:对,我想在你死了相当长一段时间后,我也许会再婚的。
She: "Would she live in our house?"
妻子:那她会住我们的房子吗?
He: "Well, the mortgage is almost paid off一would you really expect me to move?"
丈夫:咱们的抵押贷款已经还清了,难道你真的忍心让我搬家吗?
She: "Would she wear my mink coat?"
妻子:那她会穿我的貂皮大衣吗?
He: "You know I paid幻,500 for that coat- would you really want me to sell it for a loss?"
丈夫:你是知道的,我可是花了3500美元买的这件大衣,难道你真的忍心,由于你的去世就让我把这大衣卖了吗?
She: "Well, would she drive my BMW?"
妻子:那她会开我的宝马吗?
He: "No. Absolutely not. She know how to drive a stick shift!”
丈夫:不,决不会,她不会开手动档的车。
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A naval officer fell overboard. He was rescued by a deck hand. The officer asked how he could reward him.
“The best way, sir,” said the deck hand, “is to say nothing about it. If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in.”
一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。他被一名甲板水手救起。这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。
“最好的办法,长官,”这名水手说,“是别声张这事。如果其他人知道我救了您,他们会把我扔下去的。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
A blonde went outside to check her mailbox, and her neighbor kept an eye on her, she had no mail, so she went back inside her house. Two minutes later, the same blonde went outside for the 2nd time to check her mailbox, and still,she had no mail,and the neighbor was confused. One minute later, again the woman comes outside to check her mailbox for the 3rd time, and again,she had no mail. This time, her neighbor went up to her and said, "The mailman won’t be here for another 3 more hours, why do you keep on checking your mail" The blonde said, "Oh, because my computer keeps on saying, `You've got mail.”’
一个金发女郎走出门来检查她的邮箱,她的邻居看见了她。她没有发现邮件,所以她就回到了家里。过了两分钟,这个金发女郎又出来第二次检查她的邮箱,她仍然没有发现邮件,她的邻居看见了有些迷惑。一分钟以后,这个女人又出来第三次检查邮箱,她还是一无所获。这回她的邻居走向前去问她:“邮递员三个小时内是不会来的。你为什么不断的检查你的邮箱呀?”那个金发女郎说:“噢,因为我的电脑总是告诉我‘你有新邮件’。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默小笑话三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A teacher said to her class:
有个老师问班上的学生:
“Who was the first man?”
“谁是第一个男人?”
“George Washington,”a little boy shouted promptly.
“乔治·华盛顿,”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently.
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢?”老师问道,宽容地微笑着。
“Because,”said the little boy,“he was first in war,first in peace,and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
小男孩说:“因为他是战时第一,和时第一,国人心中第一。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“Well,”said the teacher to him,“who do you think was the first man?”
“那么,”老师对他说,“你认为谁是第一个男人呢?”
“I don't know what his name was,”said the larger boy,“but I know it wasn't George Washington,ma’am,because the history book says George Washington married a widow,so,of course,there must have been a man ahead of him.”
“我不知道他的名字,”大点儿的男孩说,“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿,老师。因为历史书上说,乔治·华盛顿娶了一个寡妇,所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Tommy hated school and was always looking for excuses not to go.
If he sneezed, he asked his mother to write a note saying he had a cold.
If he had a headache, he asked his mother to take him to the doctor during school hours.
He spent more time at home than he did at school.
On the days that he did go to school, he looked for excuses to come home early.
One morning he came home when the lessons were only half finished.
His father was surprised.
"You've come home early," he said. "Is the school closed today?"
"No, Dad, " Tommy said - "It's open. I came home early.
"How did you do that?" his father asked him. "What did you say to the teacher?"
"I told her that I had a new baby brother and that I had to come home and help you . "
"But your mother has had twins," his father said, "a boy and a girl. You've got a baby brother and a baby sister."
"Yes, I know, Dad, " Tommy said. "I'm saving up my baby sister for next week "
汤姆讨厌上学,总是找借口不去上学。
如果他打喷嚏,他就叫他妈妈写个纸条说他感冒了。
如果他头痛,他就叫他妈妈在上课时间带他去看病。
他呆在家里的时间比在学校的时间要多。
在他的确去上学的日子里,他就找借口早点回家。
一天早上他上了一半课就从学校回来了。
他爸爸很惊讶。
“你回来很早,”他爸爸问,“今天学校放学了吗?”
“没有,爸爸,”汤姆说,“还没放学。我提前回来了。”
“你怎么会提前回来了?”爸爸问,“你对老师说什么了?”
“我告诉她我有了一个小弟弟,我得回家帮你。”
“但是你妈妈生了一对双胞胎,”爸爸说,“一个男孩,一个女孩。你有一个小弟弟和一个小妹妹。”
“是的,我知道,爸爸,”汤姆说,“我要等下个星期再说我有个小妹妹了。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A wealthy matron(主妇,保姆) is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric(古怪的) woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and truns the business over to his son. ″Dad,″ says the son, ″there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?″
″Son,″ the father replies, ″I painted the vase.″
一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩花瓶而深感骄傲,以至于竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色,但是谁也不能令那位古怪的妇女满意。
最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那位富婆对他的成果非常满意,油漆匠于是一举成名。
多年以后,他退休了,生意也交给了儿子。“爸爸,”儿子说:“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么完美的?”
“儿子,”父亲回答说:“我漆了花瓶。”
浏览量:3
下载量:0
时间:
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国英语风趣笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
Back in the old Wild West, there were two blond cowpokes, Jeff and Dave. One day, the two were enjoying a strong sasparilla in the local saloon, when a man walked into the bar with an Indian's head under his am.
故事发生在很多年以前的西部,有两位金发牛仔。一个叫杰夫,一个叫大卫。一天,他们两个人正在一个小酒馆里品尝烈性酒,这时一个男的走进了酒馆,腋下还夹了一个印第安人的头。
The barman shakes his hand and says, "I hate Indians; last week the bastards burnt my barn to the ground, assaulted my wife and killed my children.” He then says, "If any man brings me the head of an Indian, I'II give him one thousand dollars.”
酒店老板一边摇手一边说:“我讨厌印第安人,上周那些可恶的家伙把我的谷仓烧为了平地,强暴了我的太太,杀死了我的孩子们,”他接着说:“如果谁能给我带来印度安人的头,我就给他1000美元。”
The two blonds looked at each other and walked out of the bar to go hunting for an Indian. They were walking around for a while when suddenly they saw one; Jeff threw a rock which hit the Indian right on the head. The Indian fell off his horse, but landed seventy feet down a ravine. The two nuts made their way down the ravine where Dave pulled out a knife to claim their trophy.
这两个金发牛仔互相看了看,走出酒馆去寻找印弟安人了。他们走了一段时间,突然看到了一个。杰夫向那个印第安人扔了一块石头,正击中了他的脑袋。印第安人从马上摔了下来,掉到了70英尺深的峡谷里。他们两个人沿着峡谷跑了下去。大卫取出了刀子正准备取下战利品:印度安人的头。
Suddenly, Jeff said, "Dave,take a look at this.” Dave replied, "Not now, I’m busy.”
突然,杰夫说:“大卫,快看那边。”大卫说:“现在不行,我正忙着呢。”
Jeff tugged him on the shoulder and says, "I really think you should look at this.”Dave said,“Look,you can see I’m busy. There’s a thousand dollars in my hand.” But Jeff was adamant. "Please, Dave,take a look at this.”So Dave looked up and saw that standing at the top of the ravine were five thousand red Indians. Dave just shook his head and said, "Oh. . . my …God…we're going to be millionaires!”
杰夫拍着他的肩膀说:“我真的希望你能看一下那边。”大卫说:“你没看见我正在忙吗,我现在手里可是1000美元呢。”可是杰夫坚持说:“大卫,你一定要看看那边。”于是大卫抬起头来看,原来在峡谷的顶上有大约5000个印第安人。他摇着头说:“我的天啊,我们要成百万富翁了。”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间:
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中英语幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
某日,三个男人排队等着进天堂。而显然那一天天堂很忙,所以圣彼得走出来对第一个人说:“今天天堂快满员了,我只能让一个死的最可怜的人进去,来说说你是怎么死的吧。”
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
第一个男人回答说:“这段时间以来我一直都怀疑我的老婆有了外遇,所以今天我就提早回家想要抓她个正着。我回到我位于25楼的公寓,我敢肯定有什么地方不对,但任凭我把房子翻了个底儿朝天也找不到那个男人。终于,当我搜到阳台的时候发现那个奸夫正吊在阳台的栏杆上!我气坏了,开始对他拳打脚踢,可你能相信吗?他居然就是掉不下去!于是我又返回屋里,拿了只锤子出来敲他的手。他终于掉下去了,但他居然只是掉进灌木丛,还是没死!我再也忍受不了了,进屋把冰箱抬了出来、整个儿给他砸下去……他终于死了。而我呢,这时也因为太过愤怒,心脏病发,也死在了阳台上。”
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
“那听起来是够惨的。”圣彼得说,于是让他进去了。
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
轮到第二个男人,圣彼得解释了相同的事,要他说说自己的死亡原因。
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
“今天真是奇怪极了。看,我住26楼,每天早晨都在我的阳台上锻炼。今天一早,也不知怎么的,我踩滑了、掉下了楼。幸运的是,我及时抓住了25楼阳台上的栏杆。我知道即便如此我也撑不了多久,而恰好一个男人走到了阳台上来。我开心极了,想自己一定得救了。哪知道,他一过来就对我拳打脚踢、接着还进屋拿了一只锤子砸我的手指。我终于掉下去了。但我掉进了灌木丛,也只是晕了一下而已。我正想着我应该没事的,就看着从天而降一个冰箱,跟着我就到了这儿……”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
圣彼得不得不承认这家伙死的很惨,让他进了天堂。
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
最后,终于轮到第三个男人了。圣彼得对他提出了相同的问题。
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
这个男人说:“看吧,我裸着身子、藏在冰箱里……”
浏览量:2
下载量:0
时间: