为您找到与最简单的英语笑话相关的共200个结果:
下面是读文网小编整理的简单的英语幽默笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
"i had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
"that's terrible!" said the friend. "got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”
"no, but i am always thirsty!"
“不疼,可是我总感到口渴!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"
这难道不好吗?
“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。
“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”
“我知道。”他高兴地说,“这难道不好吗?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着,其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里,”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍,地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净,整个地方都在发光。”“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语简单笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man walks into a bar and orders a beer. He takes his first sip and sets it down. While he is looking around the bar, a monkey swings down and steals the pint of beer from him before he is able to stop the monkey.The man asks the barman who owns the monkey. The barman replies the piano player. The man walks over to the piano player and says "Do you know your monkey stole my beer." The pianist replies "No, but if you hum it, I'll play it."
一男子去酒吧,点了一杯啤酒。他喝了一口放下。当他环视酒吧时,发现一只猴子荡下来,在他阻止之前,偷走了啤酒。该男子问酒吧招待,这只猴子是谁的。服务员回答说是钢琴手的。男子走到钢琴手面前问:“你知道你的猴子偷了我的啤酒吗?”钢琴手回答说:“没有,但是如果你能哼唱,我会为你演奏的。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语简单爆笑笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3岁了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
代课教师试图运用她的心理学知识。开始上课时,她说:“谁觉得自己很愚蠢,请站起来。”小约翰马上站起来了。老师问:“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢,小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢,只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单英语幽默笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去,她立刻将他抱起,头朝下不停地拍打他的后背,他咳出了两枚一角的硬币,她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道: “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币,可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道:“再喂他几枚镍币!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单的英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台,说:“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子,多少钱?”
“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着,带着奸笑的表情“很好,”女孩说,“我要十码。”
带着期待的表情,售货员很快地量好了布料,包裹好,一脸奸笑地送了过来。
女孩很快收起了包裹,微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头:“爷爷给我付账。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
One morning a fox sees a cock. He think,“This is my breakfast.”
He comes up to the cock and says, “I know you can sing very well. Can you sing for me?” The cock is glad. He closes his eyes and begins to sing. The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox. They cry, “Look, look! The fox is carrying the cock away.” The cock says to the fox, “Mr. Fox, do you understand? The people say you are carrying their cock away. Tell them it is yours. Not theirs.”
The fox opens his mouth and says, “The cock is mine, not yours.” Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
一天早上,一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想:这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来,对他说:“我知道,你能唱得非常好听,你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫:“看,看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说:“狐狸先生,你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的,不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说:“公鸡是我的,不是你们的。”就在那时,公鸡跑到了树底下。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"
"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来--然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着。
“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!”
“啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着,是的--但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
An Ogden, Iowa, minister was matching coins with a member of his congregation for a cup of coffee. When asked if that didn't constitute gambling, the minister replied, "It's merely a scientific method of determining just who is going to commit an act of charity."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell, asked if he was willing to die for his beliers, replied: "Of course not. After all, I may be wrong."
A newspaper organized a contest for the best answer to the question: "If a fire broke out in the Louvre, and if you could only save one painting, which one would you carry out?"
The winning reply was: "The one nearest the exit."
阿华州奥格根的一位牧师正在与一位教友为一杯咖啡而猜硬币。别人问他那是否构成赌博行为时,牧师答道:“这仅仅是决定由谁来做一件善事的一种科学方法。”
当我人问哲学家罗素是否愿意为了他的信仰而献身时,他答道:“当然不会。毕竟,我可能会是错的。”
一份报纸组织了一场竞赛,为下面的问题征集最佳答案:“如果卢浮宫起了火,而你只能救出一幅画,你将救出哪一幅?”
获奖的答案是:“最接近门口的那一幅。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him.She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.Wow,she thought,this crab is really special.I can't let him get away.So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset."What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh,honey," he replied,"I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻.她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走.哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了.因此他们立刻结婚了.
第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了.她深感不安.“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的.”
“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多.”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的英语简单幽默笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单有趣英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.”
“Yes,” said Landon,“he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵.老师有点不悦,对他说道:
“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向.亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样.博士先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师.”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field".
老师:改错,“一头公牛牛和公牛正在地里吃草。”
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
学生:一头母牛和公牛正在地里吃草。
Teacher: How?
老师:怎么改的?
Student: Ladies first.
学生:女士优先。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"
一名男子在健身房问他的教练:“我想给那个漂亮女孩留下深刻的印象,该使用什么机器?”
The trainer replied: "Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"
教练答道:“用健身房外的取款机!!!”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On a family vacation in "Texas,my brother-in-law Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner,he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers When his meal arrived,the first thing Mike noticed was its size.
一次,我们全家到德克萨斯去度假。姐夫迈克,好像是最有活力的旅游者。吃晚饭的时候,他为大家要了吉士汉堡包。当汉堡包被端上来后,迈克注意到的第一件事就是汉堡包的个儿挺大.
"Wow,“he exclaimed,"everything is bigger in Texas !”
“噢,”他喊道:“德克萨斯的每样东西都比其他地方的大。”
As he lifted the burger to his lips,his eyes met the cold stare of a 300-pound waitress.
就在他拿起汉堡要吃的时候,他的眼睛注意到了送汉堡的女服务员那冰冷的眼光。她足有三百镑重。
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