为您找到与搞笑英语小故事带翻译简短相关的共200个结果:
学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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一些有趣的英语故事,能够吸引少儿阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些少儿英语简短小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Jake was always sick. He repeatedly got infections—mostly colds or the flu—from patients. He considered himself lucky to be alive, considering what he’d read about deadly bacteria and viruses that were developing immunity to all the latest drugs. A hospital is a dangerous place. He wanted out of the hospital, but he had nowhere to go. He was no spring chicken. The pay, benefits, and hours were good. His schedule regularly included three- or four-day weekends.
But, he was just going through the same motions, day after day. He was at the top of the ladder for an orderly. There were no other jobs that he could qualify for, unless he wanted to go to school for several years to become a tech or a registered nurse. But those jobs would mean working in a hospital. He wanted out.
He wished he had stayed with his old job as an assistant pro at Brookside Golf Course. The pay was low and the benefits were few, but the game of golf was his passion. He loved teaching the game to others. He was a happy man when he worked at the golf course—the freshly mowed green grass, the blue sky, the white clouds. Not a sick person in sight—only healthy people, enjoying themselves. Why had he quit that job, he wondered over and over. Ten years ago, he must have had a good reason, but he sure couldn’t remember what it was now. His life was now a constant regret about the poorest decision he had ever made.
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简短幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Several years had passed since I worked for the federal government,but old habits died hard. A cable-television technician had just finished hooking up our service at home and told me he needed the 2185. I hadn't heard about this form before arid asked him," Where can I get that form'2185'"?
我从联邦政府退下来已经好几年了,但有些习惯却很难改掉。一个有线电视的技术工人给我家连接完天线后,对我说他要2185。我以前从没听见这个代号,便问:“我到哪儿能
领到这种表格?”
Looking at me peculiarly, he replied."Ma'am,it's money.$21.85. "
那位工人吃惊地望了我一会儿,说:“夫人,那是钱,21块8毛5。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说:“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说,它不够好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会,然后说:“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用,我想你若接受了我的小说,就可以留下邮票啦。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
母亲:弗雷迪,你的脸怎么是红的?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止打架。
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
母亲:这件事做得棒。谁和谁在大家呢?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
弗雷迪:我和杰基·史密斯。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语童话故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
laugh out of the other side of your mouth
乐极生悲
Chunyu Kun (淳于髡) lived in the state of Qi (齐国) during the Warring States Period (战国,475-221 BC).He was wise, humorous and eloquent. He skillfully advised the king on many occasions and successfully went to many states as an envoy.
战国时期,齐国有个叫淳于髡的人。他幽默机智,能说会道,给齐威王出过许多好主意,并且成功出使了许多其他的国家。
In the year 349 BC, the State of Chu (楚国) dispatched a large force to attack Qi.
公元349年,楚国派出大批军队攻打齐国。
The king of Qi sent Chunyu Kun to the state of Zhao (赵国) to ask for help, with a lot of valuable gifts.
齐王派淳于髡去赵国寻求帮助,于是他带着许多贵重的礼品去了赵国。
The king of Zhao accpeted the gifts gladly and sent a hundred thousand troops to help Qi.
赵王见了礼物十分高兴,派了十万士兵去援助齐国。
The king of Chu withdrew his army that very night as soon as he got the news.
那天晚上,楚王得到这消息,马上撤回了自己的军队。
The king of Qi was released and pleased with Chunyu Kun. He set a banquet for celebration.
齐威王松了一口气,十分满意淳于髡的表现,并决定设宴为他庆功。
During the meal, the king asked Chunyu Kun, "How much wine can you drink before you're drunk, Sir?"
在宴会上,齐威王问淳于髡:“先生你喝多少酒会醉?”
Knowing the king had a bad habit of drinking all night, Chunyu Kun decided to take this chance to admonish the king. So he replied, "I get drunk when I drink ten litres or hundred."
他幽默地回答说:“我有时喝一升酒就会醉,有时喝一百升酒才会醉。”
Puzzled, the king asked, "Since you are drunk after ten litres, how can you finish another ninty litres?"
齐威王听了很奇怪。他问:“你喝一升已经醉了,怎么还会有喝一百升的道理呢?”
Chunyu Kun then explained that he could drink different amounts of wine under different conditions. He said, "This occurs to me that when you drink to your limit, you get so drunk that you lose your sense; once joy reaches its height, then it's sorrow's turn. This is the rule for everything. Whatever you do, you are bound to end up in the opposite direction when you exceed the limits."
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英语幽默小故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A man told his son to take a letter to the post office, buy a three-cent stamp and mail it.
After a while his son returned. The man asked him, "Did you mail the letter?"
His son replied, "Certainly, and I have saved the three cents. I saw many people dropping letters in a box, so when nobody was looking, I dropped mine in too."
有个人叫他的儿子拿一封信到邮局去买一张三分钱的邮票把它寄出去。
过了一会儿他的儿子回来了,他问儿子:“信寄了吗?”
儿子回答说:“当然寄了,我还省了三分钱哩。我看到很多人把信投进了一个箱子,我就趁没人的时候把我的也投进去了。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
"You will be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it."
“今天你一定会对我感到满意的,妈妈。”从学校回来的迪克对妈妈说。“我把车费省下来了。我上学没有坐公交车,我跟着公交车一路跑到学校去的。”
"Well," said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more."
“哦,”他的妈妈笑道,“下次你要跟着出租车跑,那样你会省下更多。”
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白雪公主是广泛流行于欧洲的一个童话故事中的人物,其中最著名的故事版本见于德国1812年的《格林童话》。讲述了白雪公主受到继母皇后(格林兄弟最初手稿中为生母)的虐待,逃到森林里,遇到七个小矮人的故事。下面是读文网小编为大家带来白雪公主的英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
从前,有一个王后,她坐在窗户旁。窗外的花园里积满了雪,山上是雪,小路上是雪,树上和屋顶上也积着雪,万物一片白茫茫。她手中拿着些布和一枚针,她手中的不就像雪一样洁白。王后正在为小孩做一件上衣,她说:“我想我的孩子能够像这布一样白,想雪一样白,我要叫她'白雪公主'。”
几天之后,王后生了个小孩,这个孩子白得像雪一样,王后给她取名为“白雪公主”。但是,王后得了重病,几天以后就去世了。白雪公主活了下来,她是一个十分幸福和美丽的孩子。
王后去世一年以后,国王又娶了一位王后。新王后十分漂亮,但是,她不是一个善良的女人。一个巫师给了新王后一面镜子,这面镜子会说话,它挂在王后房间的墙上,每天王后照着镜子,欣赏自己多么漂亮。当她照镜子的时候,她问:“告诉我,墙上的魔镜,谁是世界上最漂亮的人?”于是魔镜开口说道:“王后是世界上最漂亮的。”
过了数年,白雪公主长成大人了。当白雪公主是一个年轻姑娘时,有一天,王后照着镜子说:“告诉我,墙上的魔镜,谁是世界上最漂亮的?”魔镜说:“白雪公主是世界上最漂亮的。”
当王后听到这些话时,非常恼怒,她说:“白雪公主没有我漂亮,没有一个人比我更漂亮。”然后,王后坐在床上哭了。一小时后,王后从她的房间走出来,她叫来一个仆人说:“把白雪公主带到森林中杀掉。”
仆人带着白雪公主到了森林,但他没有杀死她,因为她太美丽太善良了。他说:“我不会杀死你的,但是,你不能回王宫,因为,王后很生气,她会看到你的。如果王后发现你,她会让别人杀死你的。你就呆在森林里,会有朋友来帮助你的。”然后,他走了。
可怜的白雪公主坐在一棵树底下哭了,这时,她看到天快黑了,她说:“我不哭了,我要找所房子今晚好睡觉,我不能呆在这儿了,熊会吃了我的。”她往森林深处走去,这时,她发现了一座小屋,她打开小屋的门,走了进去。在小屋里,她看到七张小床,还有一张桌子,桌子上有七块小面包和七个小杯子。她吃了其中一块面包,然后说:“我想喝点水。”于是,她又喝了一个杯子中的一些水。之后,她躺在一张小床上睡着了。
这座小屋是七个小矮人的家。当天黑下来的时候,七个小矮人回到小屋。每个小矮人都留着一副大胡子,穿一件小蓝上衣。小矮人进了小屋,每个人都点上他们的小灯,然后,小矮人都坐下,开始吃面包,喝小杯里的水。
但是,一个小矮人说:“有人把我小面包吃了。”另一个小矮人说:“有人把我的小杯子里的水喝了。”然后,七个小矮人去睡觉。可是一个小矮人说:“有人正睡在我的小床上。”七个小矮人都过来看睡在小矮人床上的白雪公主。他们说:“她真漂亮。”
白雪公主醒了,发现七个留着大胡子的小矮人正站在她床旁,她很害怕。小矮人们说:“别害怕,我们是你的好朋友,告诉我们你是怎么来这儿的。”白雪公主说:“我告诉你们。”接着她就给他们讲述了自己的经历。他们说:“不要害怕。就在这儿和我们住在一起,但是,我们不在家的时候,你一定要关上门,千万别出去。如果你出去了,坏王后会发现你,这样,她知道你没有死,会让人来杀死你。”于是,白雪公主和七个小矮人在这座小屋里生活着。
几天以后,白雪公主去了一趟花园。王后的一个仆人正经过这片森林,他发现了阿。他回去告诉了王后:“白雪公主在森林的一座小屋里。”王后听说白雪公主没有死,十分恼火。
王后拿来一个苹果,她在苹果红的一边挖了一个洞,把一些毒的粉末放在这个洞里。然后,她穿上一身旧衣服,去了小屋。她喊:“屋里有人吗?”白雪公主打开门,出来见她。王后说:“我有一些漂亮的苹果,吃一个尝尝吧?”白雪公主拿着苹果说:“这好吃吗?”王后说:“瞧,我吃苹果白的一半,你吃红的一半,你会知道它味道不错。”白雪公主吃了苹果红的一半,当粉末进入她嘴里时,她倒下去死了。
王后回到家,进了自己的房间,对着镜子说:“告诉我,墙上的魔镜,谁是世界上最漂亮的。”魔镜说:“王后是世界上最漂亮的。”于是,王后知道白雪公主已经死了。
小矮人们回到小屋,发现白雪公主死了。可怜的小矮人们全都哭了。然后,他们把白雪公主放进玻璃棺材里,并把它抬到山坡上,安放在那里,说:“每位经过这里的人都会看见她是多么美丽。”接着每个小矮人在棺材上放了一朵白花,然后离开了。
他们刚刚要离开,一位王子从此经过,他看着玻璃棺材说:“那是什么?”这时,他发现白雪公主躺在里面,他说:“她太美丽了,把能把她放在这里,在父亲的王宫里有一座大厅,整个大厅都是用白石头砌成,我们把玻璃棺材搬到那所漂亮的白石大厅里。”小矮人们说:“抬走她吧。”
然后,王子告诉他的仆人抬起棺材。他们抬起它时,不巧一个仆人跌倒了。把棺材也摔到地上,白雪公主随同棺材跌了下来,那块苹果从她嘴里掉了出来,她醒了过来,坐起来说:“我这是在哪儿?”王子说:“你跟我在一起,我从来没有见过一位像你这么美丽的人,跟我来,做我的王后吧。”王子和白雪公主结婚了,她成了王后。
一个人去把这些消息告诉了坏王后,当她听到这些,气得倒下死去了。从那以后,白雪公主一直生活得很幸福。每年小矮人们都来看她。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看医生:“医生,我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题,只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上,我在这里已经放了20多个屁,但是你并不知道对吧,因为我的屁不臭,而且还没声音。”医生说:“好的,我明白了。吃这个药片,一天三次连续吃七天,下星期你再来。”一星期后老太太来了,“医生,你到底给的我什么药,现在我放屁还是没声音,但是怎么这么臭!”医生说:“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了,现在开始治听觉。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些四年级英语幽默小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Guests for dinner
晚餐宾客
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb.
一个小家伙老喜欢吮自己的大拇指, 这可是个坏习惯。
His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.
他妈妈最后跟他说,如果他再吮大拇指的话,他就会变得很胖。
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge.
两个星期后的一天,她妈妈正跟几个朋友在玩桥牌。
The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
小家伙指着一个因怀孕而体型明显发胖的女人说,“啊,哈! 我知道你一直在做什么!”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后,石匠问他,要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。律师回答:“这里长眠着一个诚实的人,一个律师。”“对不起,我办不到,”石匠说,“要是这样的话,违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。不过,我会刻上:‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。” 律师抗议:“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”“当然知道啦,”石匠反驳道,“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话,能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇,欢迎大家阅读!
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上,人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火,又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠:“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道,”袋鼠说,“如果他们继续开着大门,可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
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