为您找到与搞笑的英语笑话带翻译相关的共200个结果:
笑话是指以一句短语或一个小故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,另外一个行动(动作)型的笑话是以动作影响人的视觉及观感,而感到好笑。下面一起来看一下一些英语爆笑笑话吧。
When David bowed to someone, yyxhh.com he always did it at lightning speed.
大卫给人鞠躬的速度总是飞快,英语笑话头低一下就起来了。
So he was blamed for impoliteness.
为此,别人总指责他失礼。
Then some warmhearted men taught him, “When you bow to somebody next time, you can count ‘Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday…’, until Sunday. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect, and you will be praised for good manners.”
有些热心人都他说,“下次鞠躬的时候,你就在心里边默数‘星期一,星期二,星期三,……’,一直数到星期天为止,然后再直起身子来。这样,礼节就周全了,你也会因懂礼貌而爱到称赞的。”
The next day, he met his uncle; he did as the men told him.
第二天,大卫遇到了他的伯父,他就照那人说的做了。
The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel scared and escaped away right away. 这躬鞠得时间太长了,他的伯父吓得马上逃开了。
When David looked up, he found his uncle gone.
大卫抬头一看,他伯父早已踪影皆无。
So he asked the man together with him, “What day of the week did he go away?”
于是,他只好问和自己同来的人:“我伯父是星期几的时候走的?”
跟我父亲一样Like my Father’s时间:2014-04-23 09:41来源:未知 作者:admin 点击:249次
Mr. Lloyed went to the barber every month to have a haircut. He sometimes took his small son Philip with him, and Philip sat and looked at magazines during his father’s hair cut.
劳埃德先生每月都去理发店理发。有时他带着小儿子菲利普一起去。英语笑话他理发时,菲利普坐着看杂志。
But at that time, the barber did not cut Philip’ hair. Mrs. Lloyd always cut it at home.
那时,菲利普头发并不由理发师理,而是由劳埃德太太在家里给他理。
Then, one day, Mr.Lloyd said to his wife, “Phlilp’s five now, and the barber is going to cut his hair next time.”
有一天劳埃德先生对太太说:“现在菲利普五岁了,下次该让理发师给他理发了。”
He took Philip there the next day, and first the barber cut Mr.Lloyd’s hair. yyxhh.com Then he put Philip in the chair and said,” How do you want your hair, young man?”
第二天,他带菲利普去理发店,理发师先给劳埃德先生理完,再把菲利普放在椅子上,然后说“年轻人,你想理什么发型?”
“Like my father’s,” answered Philip. “With a hole in the middle.”
“跟我父亲一样,”菲利普回答说:“头顶中央有个圆洞。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话 带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A farmer's boy went looking for snails, and, when he had picked up both his hands full, he set about making a fire at which to roast them; for he meant to eat them. When it got well alight and the snails began to feel the heat, they gradually withdrew more and more into their shells with the hissing noise they always make when they do so. When the boy heard it, he said, "You abandoned creatures, how can you find heart to whistle when your houses are burning?"
一个乡下少年到处寻找蜗牛,当他双手都塞满了蜗牛后,就准备点火烤着吃。火点着了,蜗牛也开始感觉到热了,他们纷纷退向坚壳的深处,同时还发出“咝咝”的噪音。男孩子听到了蜗牛发出的嘘声,便说:“你们这些连命都快没有的家伙,怎么还能有心情在窝里着火时吹口哨呢?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话5篇,欢迎大家阅读!
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一个女孩爬到圣诞老人的膝盖上,圣诞老人例行公事的问:“今年圣诞节你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛惊讶的望着圣诞老人一分钟都没讲话,然后喘着气说到:“你没收到我的电子邮件吗?(我想要什么都写上面了,万能的圣诞老人咋能不知道捏)”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Where does God live?
老师:上帝住哪儿?
Student: I think he lives in our bathroom.
学生:我想他应该住我家浴室。
Teacher: Why do you say that?
老师:为什么这么说?
Student: Well, every morning my daddy bangs on the door and says, "God, are you still in there?"
学生:因为每天早上我爸都猛敲浴室的大门喊:“上帝啊,你怎么还在里面?”
Teacher: How can you tell a hawk has good eyesight?
老师:为什么说鹰的视力很好?
Student: Because I have never seen a hawk wearing spectacles.
学生:因为我从没见过哪只鹰戴眼镜。
Teacher: Tom and John! Why are you late for school today?
老师:汤姆!约翰!你俩今天为什么迟到了!
Tom: Madam, I lost a one-dollar coin and was searching for it.
汤姆:老师,我一直在找我丢失的一美元硬币。
Teachear: John, what about you?
老师:那么你呢,约翰?
John: Madam, I was not able to move beacause I was hiding that coin under my feet.
约翰:老师,我不能动啊,我把他的硬币藏脚底下了。
Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework?
老师:你父亲有没有帮着你做作业?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
学生:没有,他是独立完成的。
Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies?
老师:西印度群岛有哪些产物?
Student: I don't know.
学生:我不晓得。
Teacher: Of course, you do. Where do you get sugar from?
老师:怎么会不知道,你每天吃的糖哪儿来的?
Student: We borrow it from our neighbor.
学生:邻居家借的。
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读文网小编给大家带来了英语搞笑笑话6篇让你开心快乐每一天!
"Doctor," she said loudly, bouncing into the room, "I want you to say frankly what's wrong with me."
He surveyed her from head to foot. "Madam," he said at length, "I've just three things to tell you. First, your weight wants reducing by nearly fifty pounds. Second, your beauty could be improved if you used about one tenth as much rouge and lipstick. And third, I'm an artist---the doctor lives downstairs."
“医生”她冲进屋后大声说道。“我想让你坦率地说我到底得了什么病。”
他从头到脚打量打量她,然后大声说:“太太,我有三件事要对你说。第一,您的体重需要减少大约50磅;第二,如果您要用上十分之一的胭脂和口红,您的美貌将会改变。第三,我是一位画家——医生住在楼下。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑笑话 带翻译,以供大家学习参考。
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老师: 汤姆,“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆:男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑小笑话 带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year, his history professor failed him in his examinations, and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However, his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year."He's a good boy," said Jack's father, "and if you let him pass this time, I'm sure he'll improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.""No, no, that's quite impossible," replied the professor immediately. "Do you know, last month I asked him when Napoleon had died, he didn't know!""Please, sir, give him another chance," said Jack's father. "You see, I'm afraid we don't take any newspaper in our house, so none of us even know that Napoleon was ill."
杰克到一所大学去学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格,校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸,我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信,先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦,那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后,她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑笑话,以供大家学习参考。
What can Santa give away and still keep?
Answer: a cold.
什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去,自己却也还留着?
答案:感冒。
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话,能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇,欢迎大家阅读!
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上,人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火,又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠:“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道,”袋鼠说,“如果他们继续开着大门,可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
When George was thirty-five, he bought a small plane and learned to fly it. He soon became very good and made his plane do all kinds of tricks.
George had a friend. His name was Mark. One day George offered to take Mark up in his plane. Mark thought, "I've travelled in a big plane several times, but I've never been in a small one, so I'll go."
They went up, and George flew around for half an hour and did all kinds of tricks in the air.
When they came down again, Mark was very glad to be back safely, and he said to his friend in a shaking voice, "Well, George, thank you very much for those two trips in your plane."
Gerogy was very surprised and said, "Two trips?"
"Yes, my first and my last," answered Mark.
乔治35岁时买了架小型飞机,并开始学习驾驶。不久,他就能很娴熟地驾机做各种各样的特技飞行了。
乔治有个朋友名叫马克。一天,乔治主动邀请马克乘他的飞机上天兜一圈。马克心想,“我乘大客机飞行过好几次,还从来没有乘过小飞机,我不妨试一试。”
升空后,乔治飞了有半个小时,在空中做了各种各样的飞行特技。
后来他们着陆了。马克很高兴能够安全返回地面。他用颤抖的声音对他的朋友说:“乔治,非常感谢你让我乘小飞机做了两次飞行。”
乔治非常吃惊地问:“两次飞行?”
“是的,我的第一次和最后一次。”马克答道。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
幽默搞笑英语笑话1:
My youngest brother, Tony, had just completed basic training and was home on leave prior to his first tour in Germany. Since I was an Army National Guard pilot and my another brother was my crew chief, we offered to take Tony to catch his transport overseas.
When we landed at Air Force Base, several of Tony's fellow privates came out to greet him. Tony ran ahead, while my another brother and I followed with his gear. As Tony approached hisbuddies, he was bewildered(困惑的) by their dumbfounded(目瞪口呆的) stares.
Finally, he realized his friends weren't seeing his two brothers giving him a lift, they were seeing a new private arrive in his own helicopter -- with his captain and sergeant carrying his bags!
我最年幼的弟弟托尼刚刚完成基本训练,在进行第一次德国之行前请假回家。我是国民警卫队的飞行员,我的另一个弟弟是我们部门的长官,我们提出去送托尼。
当我们在空军基地降落时,托尼的几个士兵朋友出来迎接他。托尼跑在前面,而我和另一个弟弟提着他的衣物跟在后面。当托尼跑向他的伙伴时,他们目瞪口呆的神情让托尼很是疑惑。
最后,他意识到,他的朋友看到的不是他的两个哥哥在给他提行李,他们看到的是一个新兵从他自己的直升机走下来,身后跟着给他提行李的队长和士兵。
幽默搞笑英语笑话2:
One day a boy came to his teacher and said: "Teacher, pa wants to know if you like roast pig."
"I certainly do," said the teacher, "and you tell your father he is very kind to think of me."
Days passed, and nothing more was said about the roast pig.
Finally the teacher said to the boy: "I thought your father was going to send me over some roast pig."
"Yes," said the boy, "He did intend to, but the pig got well."
一天有个男孩去对他老师说:“老师,我爸想知道你是不是爱吃烤猪肉。”
“当然罗,”老师说,“去告诉你父亲,多谢他想着我。”
好几天过去了,再没提起考猪肉的事儿。
最后老师对男孩说:“我以为你父亲要给我送点烤猪肉来呢。”
“是啊,”孩子说,“他是这么想的,可后来猪又没病了。”
幽默搞笑英语笑话3:
Hanging in the hallway at Whites High School in Wabash, Ind., and the basketball team pictures from the past 40 years. A player in the center of the front row in each picture holds a basketball identifying the year - "62-63", "63-64", "64-65", etc.
One day I spotted a freshman looking curiously at the photos. Turning to me, he said, "Isn't it strange how the teams always lost by one point?"
位于印第安那州瓦巴西的怀兹中学,其门厅里悬挂着过去四十年间样篮球队的照片。每幅照片前排中间的队员举着一个篮球,上面标明年份-“62-63”,“63-64”,“64-65”等等。
一天,我看到一个新生很困惑地看着照片。他朝我转过身来,说道:“多奇怪呀,这些队都是以一分之差输掉的!"
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now,children,"said she,"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please,teacher:said a small boy,:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please,teacher,I went to see her yesterday,and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her,‘Granny, I’m going home’,and she said,‘Well,I'm glad!’”
“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’”
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