为您找到与搞笑中国式英语相关的共200个结果:
下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话大全,欢迎大家阅读!
Our physics professor was struggling to draw the class into discussion of Archimede's principle of water displacement. He told us that Archimede noticed that when he got into a pool at the public bathhouse, the water rose spilling over the edge. Excited at his discovery, he ran down the street yelling, "Eureka, eureka!" The instructor asked if anyone knew what that meant.
One student stood up and answered, "I'm naked ! I'm naked!"
我们的物理教授千方百计引导我们讨论阿基米德的排水原理。他告诉我们阿基米德去公共浴池洗澡,他进入池子,发现水涨高了,溢出池沿。他对这一发现十分激动,跑到街上高叫:“Eureka,Eureka!”教授问我们谁知道他喊的是什么意思。
一个学生站起来答道:“我光屁股啦,我光屁股啦!”
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一个成功的笑话能流传千古,听者和讲者都会感到快乐、欣喜,拍掌叫好!下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
One day in class, the teacher assigned his students to write a composition – If I Am a Manager.All the students began to write except a boy. The teacher went to him and asked the reason.I am waiting for my secretary, was the boy’s answer.
一天课上,老师要同学们以如果我是一个经理为题写一篇作文。所有的学生都在动笔写了,只有一个男生例外。老师走过去问他为什么不写。我在等我的秘书。那孩子答道。
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笑话是一种艺术方法,用这种方法造成以笑为艺术手段的文学艺术作品。幽默寓于笑话之中,它是笑话的精料,智慧之所在。下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Wife: "How would you describe me?"
妻子:你会怎么形容我呢?
Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
丈夫:ABCDEFGHIJK.
Wife: "What does that mean?"
妻子:那是什么意思?
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
丈夫:迷人的、魅力的、可爱的、令人愉悦的、优雅的、时髦的、漂亮的和火辣的。
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
妻子:哇,谢谢,但是“IJK”是什么意思呢?
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
丈夫:开个玩笑!
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑笑话 带翻译,以供大家学习参考。
Teacher: What is the plural of man,Tom?
老师: 汤姆,“男人”这个词的复数形式是什么?
Tom: Men.
汤姆:男人们。
Teacher: Good. And the plural of child?
老师: 答得好。那“孩子”的复数形式呢?
Tom : Twins.
汤姆: 双胞胎。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
"Do you believe in life after death?" the boss asked one of his employees. "Yes, Sir." the new recruit replied."Well, then, that makes everything just fine," the boss went on. "After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you.
“你相信人能死后重生吗?”老板问他的一个员工。 “我相信,先生”。这位刚上班不久的员工回答。 “哦,那还好”。老板接着说。 “你昨天提早下班去参加你祖母的葬礼后,她老人家到这儿看你来了。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的一些关于suggest的错误用法分析,以供大家学习参考。
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. or, should I say, his lack of it.One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"
我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴,和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者,我应该说,他是有点矮!一天,经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入,高声说,“有人拿了我的钱包!”
我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声,但有人却蹦出一句话:“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A keen young teacher wanted to introduce her class to the glories of classical music, so she arranged an outing to an afternoon concert. To make the occasion even more memorable, she treated everyone to lemonade, cake, chocs and ices. Just as the party was getting back into their coach, she said to little Sally, "Have you enjoyed yourself today?"
"Oh, yes, miss!" said Sally, "It was lovely. All except the music, that is."
一位热心的年轻教师想让她的学生多了解一点优秀的古典音乐,就安排了一天下午去听音乐会。为了使这次活动能给大家留下更深的印象,她请大家喝柠檬汽水、吃点心、巧克力和冰淇淋。在大家回来上汽车的时候,她问小萨莉:“你今天玩得好吗?”
“噢,好极了,小姐,” 萨莉说,“除了音乐其它都很好。”
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多阅读一些有趣的英语笑话,能激起我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享英语搞笑笑话10篇,欢迎大家阅读!
The ability of the Kangaroo
The zoo built a special eight-foot-high enclosure for its newly acquired kangaroo, but the next morning the animal was found hopping around outside. The height of the fence was increased to 15 feet, but the kangaroo got out again. Exasperated, the zoo director had the height increased to 30 feet, but the kangaroo still escaped. A giraffe asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they'll build the fence?" "I don't know, " said the kangaroo. "Maybe a thousand feet if they keep leaving the gate unlocked.
袋鼠的能力
动物园为刚引进的袋鼠建了一个特殊的八英尺高的围墙。但是第二天早上,人们发现这动物在围墙外面蹦跳着。于是围墙高度增加到十五英尺,但袋鼠还是跑了出来。动物园经理甚感恼火,又叫人把围墙高度加到三十英尺,但袋鼠还是逃了出来。一个长颈鹿问袋鼠:“你认为他们会把围墙建到多高?” “我不知道,”袋鼠说,“如果他们继续开着大门,可能要修到一千英尺吧。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.
"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.
The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him. He is listening though."
Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"
在电话中交谈 每个星期天牧师都会把孩子们叫到教堂前面,然后给他们讲一个故事。一天,他为了更好地阐述祈祷的含义,带来了一台电话机。
“你们和别人在电话里交谈,并没有看到电话线另一端的人,对吗?”他开始问道。孩子们点头称是。“好的,和上帝交谈就象通过电话交谈一样。他就在另一端,虽然你看不见他,但是他正在聆听你的心声。”
就在这时,一个小男孩尖着嗓子问道:“那他的电话号码是什么?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语搞笑冷笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Mr.Green went to Germany,because he had some work there.He came back last Monday,and his young wife met him at the airport.They walked to their car and passed a tall,pretty air hostess.Mr.Green said to her,Goodbye,Miss Harris, and the air hostess smiled and saidGoodbye too.
Mrs.Green stopped and looked at the air hostess.Then she said to her husband,How did you know her name?
That was easy,answered Mr.Green.The names of the captain and all the crew were on a piece of paper in front of our sests.
What was the name of the captain?Mrs.Green asked with a smile.
Mr.Green laughed and answered,I don't remember any of the other names.
格林去了德国,因为他在那里有些工作要做。他上星期一回国,他年轻的妻子到机场去接他。他们向他们的汽车走去,遇见了一位高挑、漂亮的空中小姐。格林先生对她说:再见,哈里斯小姐。那位空中小姐莞尔一笑,也说了声再见。
格林夫人停下来,看看那位空中小姐,然后她问她丈夫:你怎么知道她的名字?
这很容易,格林先生回答。机长和机组全体人员的名单都写在我们座位前的一张纸上。
那机长叫什么名字?格林夫人笑着问。
格林先生笑着答道:我不记得其他任何人的名字。
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下面是读文网小编整理的搞笑英语对话,欢迎大家阅读!
男:Can I buy you a drink?(我可以为你买一杯饮料吗?)
女:Actually I’d rather have the money.(不必,我我宁愿留下那些钱。)
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下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑英语句子精选,欢迎大家阅读!
1、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物!
other people's money is my life a thing apart!
2、要在江湖混,最好是光棍!
in the river's lake, preferably bachelor!
3、不怕被人利用,就怕你没用!
is afraid of being used but you don't!
4、不是变化快,而是你太菜。
not change quickly, but you are too。
5、长得真有创意,活得真有勇气!
long is really creative, live really have the courage!
6、废话是人际关系的第一句!
nonsense is the interpersonal relations the first sentence!
7、不要和我比懒,我懒得和你比。
don't than lazy with me, i'm too lazy to than with you。
8、英雄不问出路,流氓不看岁数。
heroes do not ask a way out, the rogue don't look at age。
9、人生自古谁无死,哪个拉屎不用纸!
everyone must die, which shit is not paper!
10、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。
the old niang eyes opened, you will know a uber。
11、我又不是人民币,怎么能让人人都喜欢我?
i'm not rmb, how can let everyone like me?
12、别跟我谈感情,谈感情伤钱。
don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurt money。
13、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇,而是时间。
sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time。
14、只要锄头舞的好,那有墙角挖不倒?
as long as the hoe dance well, there's the corner dug to fail?
15、没有钱,没有权,再不对你好点,你能跟我?
no money, no power, don't point to you, can you tell me?
16、真的猛士,敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。
really brave warrior, dare to face her face without makeup。
17、他们说我是bt,让我去做ct,结果我是et。
they say i'm a bt, let me to do ct, the result i am et。
18、没有不透风的墙,没有不能上吊的梁。
no windtight wall, no can't commit suicide by hanging of beam。
19、令人不能自拔的,除了牙齿还有爱情。
a cannot extricate oneself, in addition to the teeth with love。
20、我那么喜欢你,你喜欢我一下会死埃。
i like you, so you like me will die。
21、人如果靠吃饭活着,那饭不叫饭,叫饲料。
if they eat to live, that rice not call rice, called the feed。
22、帅有个屁用!到头来还不是被卒吃掉!
handsome have a fart to use! in the end is not eaten by single!
23、作为一个怪兽,我的愿望是至少消灭一个奥特曼。
as a monster, my wish is to eliminate at least one ultraman。
24、天赐你一双翅膀,就应该被红烧…
gift you a pair of wings, you should be to braise in soy sauce……
25、英雄难过美人关,我不是英雄,美人让我过了关。
hero sad beauty pass, i am not a hero, a beauty let me close。
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下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑的英语句子,欢迎大家阅读!
1、别人的钱财乃我的身外之物!
other people's money is my life a thing apart!
2、要在江湖混,最好是光棍!
in the river's lake, preferably bachelor!
3、不怕被人利用,就怕你没用!
is afraid of being used but you don't!
4、不是变化快,而是你太菜。
not change quickly, but you are too。
5、长得真有创意,活得真有勇气!
long is really creative, live really have the courage!
6、废话是人际关系的第一句!
nonsense is the interpersonal relations the first sentence!
7、不要和我比懒,我懒得和你比。
don't than lazy with me, i'm too lazy to than with you。
8、英雄不问出路,流氓不看岁数。
heroes do not ask a way out, the rogue don't look at age。
9、人生自古谁无死,哪个拉屎不用纸!
everyone must die, which shit is not paper!
10、老娘法眼一开就知道你是个妖孽了。
the old niang eyes opened, you will know a uber。
11、我又不是人民币,怎么能让人人都喜欢我?
i'm not rmb, how can let everyone like me?
12、别跟我谈感情,谈感情伤钱。
don't talk to me about feelings, talk about feelings hurt money。
13、婚姻的杀手有时不是外遇,而是时间。
sometimes the killer of marriage is not an affair, but time。
14、只要锄头舞的好,那有墙角挖不倒?
as long as the hoe dance well, there's the corner dug to fail?
15、没有钱,没有权,再不对你好点,你能跟我?
no money, no power, don't point to you, can you tell me?
16、真的猛士,敢于直面自己未化妆的脸。
really brave warrior, dare to face her face without makeup。
17、他们说我是bt,让我去做ct,结果我是et。
they say i'm a bt, let me to do ct, the result i am et。
18、没有不透风的墙,没有不能上吊的梁。
no windtight wall, no can't commit suicide by hanging of beam。
19、令人不能自拔的,除了牙齿还有爱情。
a cannot extricate oneself, in addition to the teeth with love。
20、我那么喜欢你,你喜欢我一下会死埃。
i like you, so you like me will die。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A businessman enters a tavern, sits down at the bar, and orders a double martini on the rocks. After he finishes the drink, he peeks inside his shirt pocket, and then orders the bartender to prepare another double martini.
一个生意人走进一家酒馆,在吧台坐下,点了一杯加冰的双料martini。喝完,那生意人往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务员把杯子满上。
After he finishes that, he again peeks inside his shirt pocket and orders the bartender to bring another double martini.
喝完,生意人又往自己衬衣的口袋里瞥了一眼,然后又让服务生帮他把杯子满上。
The bartender says, "Look, buddy, I'll bring ya' martinis all night long - but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order a refill."
这时酒馆的服务生说话了,“呃,老兄,我整个晚上给你倒martini都没有问题,但你得告诉我,你为什么在点下一杯酒前都要往自己衬衣的口袋里偷偷看那么一眼”。
The customer replies, "I'm peeking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, I know it's time to go home."
生意人回答,“我看的是我老婆的一张照片。如果照片上的人开始变得好看起来,那就说明我喝得差不多了,该回家了。”
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些幽默简单英语小故事给大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语故事!
Alan worked in an office in the city. He worked very hard and really looked forward to his holidays.
艾伦在城市里的一家公司上班。他工作非常辛苦,他期盼着假期。
He usually went to the seaside, but one year he saw an ad in a newspaper "Enjoy country life. Spend a few weeks at Willow Farm. Good food, fresh air, horse riding, walking, fishing. Reasonable prices."
他经常去海边度假,但是有一年他在报纸上看到了一则广告:“享受乡村生活。在唯利屋农场度假数周,可享受:美味佳肴、新鲜空气、骑马、散步、垂钓。价格便宜!”
"This sounds like a good idea." he thought, "I'll spend a month at Willow Farm. I'll enjoy horse riding, walking and fishing. They'll make a change from sitting by the seaside."
“这听起来真是一个好主意。”他想,“我要在唯利屋农场度假一个月。我要享受骑马,散步和垂钓的乐趣。这将带来和坐在海边不一样的情趣。”
Four days later he returned home.
四天后他回来了。
"What's wrong with Willow Farm ?" his friend asked him. "Didn't you enjoy country life?"
“唯利屋农场怎么了?”他的朋友问道。“难道乡村生活无趣吗?”
"Country life was fine," Alan said. "But there was another problem."
“乡村生活倒是挺好的,”艾伦说。“但是有另一个问题。”
"Oh, what?"
“噢,是什么呢?”
"Well, the first day I was there a sheep died, and we had roast lamb for dinner."
“喔,在那里的第一天,一头羊死了,我们的晚餐是烤羊肉。”
"Fresh meat is the best."
“新鲜肉类真不错。”
"I know, but on the second day a cow died, and we had roast beef for dinner."
“我知道,但是第二天一头牛死了,我们的晚餐时烤牛肉。”
"Lucky you!"
“真幸运!”
"You don't understand," Alan said. "On the third day a pig died and we had roast pork for dinner."
“你不知道,”艾伦说。“第三天一头猪死了,我们的晚餐时烤猪肉。”
"A different roast every day." Jack exclaimed.
“每天都有不同的烤肉。”杰克感叹道。
"Let me finish," Alan said. "On the fourth day the farmer died and I didn't dare stay for dinner!"
“让我说完,”艾伦说道。“第四天农夫死了,我不敢留下了吃晚餐!”
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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