为您找到与幽默的英语小故事带翻译相关的共200个结果:
Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I‘m going abroad tomorrow, but I‘d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I‘ve come to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that‘s all right," answered Joan. "I‘m his sister."
"I‘m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I‘m his mother!"
很高兴认识你
在第二次世界大战中,有许多年轻的妇女在军营中服役。琼.飞利浦斯是其中之一。她在一个大军营中工作,当然遇到了许多男士,包括军官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞会上遇到了军官汉弗雷斯。他对她说,“我明天就要出国,但如果我们能够相互写信,我会很高兴。”琼同意了,于是他们几个月里一直通着信。
后来,他再没有来信。她收到了另一个军官的信,告诉她,他受伤了,住在英格兰的某个部队医院里。
琼到了医院,她对护士长说,“我来看望军官汉弗雷斯。”
“这里只有亲属可以探望病人。”护士长说。
“噢,是的,”琼说,“我是他的妹妹。”
“很高兴认识你,”护士长说,“我是他的母亲。”
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Two soldiers were in camp. The first one‘s name was George, and the second one‘s name was Bill. George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"
Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.
Then George said, "Now I haven‘t got a pen." Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter. Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.
Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"
Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.
George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.
"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.
George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What‘s your girl-friend‘s address?"
军营里有二名士兵,一个叫乔治,一个叫比尔。乔治问:“比尔,你有信纸、信封吗?”
比尔说:“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。
乔治又说:“我还没有笔呢。”比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。写完后把信放进信封里,又问:“比尔,你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。
这时比尔站起来,向门口走去。乔治问:“你要出去吗?”
比尔说:“是的。”随即打开了门。
乔治说:“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里,还有...”他停住了。
“你还要什么?”比尔问。
乔治看着信封说:“你女朋友的地址是-?”
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些四年级英语幽默小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Guests for dinner
晚餐宾客
There was this little kid who had a bad habit of sucking his thumb.
一个小家伙老喜欢吮自己的大拇指, 这可是个坏习惯。
His mother finally told him that if he didn't stop sucking his thumb, he'd get fat.
他妈妈最后跟他说,如果他再吮大拇指的话,他就会变得很胖。
Two weeks later, his mother had her friends over for a game of bridge.
两个星期后的一天,她妈妈正跟几个朋友在玩桥牌。
The boy points to an obviously pregnant woman and says, "Ah, ha! I know what you've been doing!"
小家伙指着一个因怀孕而体型明显发胖的女人说,“啊,哈! 我知道你一直在做什么!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿英语幽默小故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A man told his son to take a letter to the post office, buy a three-cent stamp and mail it.
After a while his son returned. The man asked him, "Did you mail the letter?"
His son replied, "Certainly, and I have saved the three cents. I saw many people dropping letters in a box, so when nobody was looking, I dropped mine in too."
有个人叫他的儿子拿一封信到邮局去买一张三分钱的邮票把它寄出去。
过了一会儿他的儿子回来了,他问儿子:“信寄了吗?”
儿子回答说:“当然寄了,我还省了三分钱哩。我看到很多人把信投进了一个箱子,我就趁没人的时候把我的也投进去了。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."
The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."
一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说:“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说,它不够好嘛。”
失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会,然后说:“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用,我想你若接受了我的小说,就可以留下邮票啦。”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的少儿幽默英语故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来儿童幽默英语小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A news reporter said to a great stateman, "I have come to interview you, sir."
The great stateman said, "Well, go back to write your interview. Then let me see it."
"Here it is," said the reporter.
一个新闻记者对一个大政治家说:“我是来采访阁下的。”
大政治家说:“嗯,回去写你的采访记吧。写好后给我看看。”
“已经写好了,这就是。”记者说。
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些初中英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A bald man took a seat in a beauty shop.
"How can I help you?" asked the stylist.
"I went for a hair transplant," the guy explained, "but I couldn't stand the pain. If you can make my hair look like yours without causing me any discomfort, I will pay you $5000."
"No problem," said the stylist, and she quickly shaved her head.
一个秃头的人在一家美容店里坐了下来。
“您需要什么服务呢?”美容师问。
“我以前做过头发移植,”这个人解释道,“可是我忍受不了疼痛。假如你可以让我的头发像你的一样,却又不会给我带来什么不舒服的感觉,我就给你5000美圆。”
“没问题,”美容师说,于是,她很快剃光了自己的头发。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
母亲:弗雷迪,你的脸怎么是红的?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
弗雷迪:我刚才在大街上跑,为的是阻止打架。
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
母亲:这件事做得棒。谁和谁在大家呢?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
弗雷迪:我和杰基·史密斯。
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语故事翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
"You will be pleased with me today, mother," said Dick to his mother, coming home from school. "I saved on fares. I didn't go to school by bus, I ran all the way after it."
“今天你一定会对我感到满意的,妈妈。”从学校回来的迪克对妈妈说。“我把车费省下来了。我上学没有坐公交车,我跟着公交车一路跑到学校去的。”
"Well," said his mother laughing, "Next time you should run after a taxi, you will save much more."
“哦,”他的妈妈笑道,“下次你要跟着出租车跑,那样你会省下更多。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A little old lady goes to the doctor ... and says, "Doctor, I have this problem with gas, but it doesn't really bother me too much. They never smell and are always silent. As a matter of fact, I've farted at least 20 times since I've been here in your office. You didn't know I was farting because they don't smell and are silent." The doctor says, "I see. Here's a prescription. Take these pills 3 times a day for seven days and come back to see me next week." The next week the lady goes back. "Doctor," she says, "I don't know what the hell you gave me, but now my farts ... although still silent... stink terribly." The doctor says, "Good! Now that we've cleared up your sinuses, let's start working on your hearing."
有位小老太太去看医生:“医生,我有爱放屁的毛病。其实也不是大问题,只是我放屁不臭而且没声音。事实上,我在这里已经放了20多个屁,但是你并不知道对吧,因为我的屁不臭,而且还没声音。”医生说:“好的,我明白了。吃这个药片,一天三次连续吃七天,下星期你再来。”一星期后老太太来了,“医生,你到底给的我什么药,现在我放屁还是没声音,但是怎么这么臭!”医生说:“太好了!你的嗅觉正常了,现在开始治听觉。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后,石匠问他,要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。律师回答:“这里长眠着一个诚实的人,一个律师。”“对不起,我办不到,”石匠说,“要是这样的话,违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。不过,我会刻上:‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。” 律师抗议:“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”“当然知道啦,”石匠反驳道,“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默英语小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
幽默英语小故事1:
A friend of mine was giving an English lesson to a class of adult who had recently come to live in the United States.
After placing quite a number of everyday objects on a table, he asked various members of the class to give him the ruler, the book, the pen and so on. The class went very smoothly and the students seemed interested and serious about the work that they were engaged in until when my friend turned to an Italian student and said, "Give me the keys."
The man looked surprised and somewhat at a loss. Seeing this, my friend thought that the student hadn't heard him clearly, so he repeated. "Give me the keys." The Italian shruggedhis shoulders. Then, he threw his arms around the teacher's neck and kissed him on both cheeks.
我的一位朋友在给一个成人学生班级上英语课。他们都是新近来美国生活的。
在一张桌子上摆了许多日常用品之后,他请全班同学给他挑出尺子,书本,钢笔等。课进行得井然有序,学生们对自己所做的似乎很感兴趣,也很认真。后来轮到一名来自意大利的学生,我的朋友说:“给我钥匙。”
那人看起来非常吃惊,也有点手足无措。看到这种情况,我的朋友想是他没有听清楚,于是又重复了一遍:“给我钥匙。”那位意大利学生耸了耸肩。接着,他伸出胳膊搂住老师的脖子在双颊上亲了两下。
幽默英语小故事2:
One of my favorite teachers at Southeast Missouri State University in Cape Girardeau was known of his droll(滑稽的) sense of humor. Explaining his ground rules to one freshmanclass, he said, "Now I know my lectures can often be dry and boring, so I don't mind if you look at your watches during class. I do, however, object to your pounding them on the desk to make sure they're still running."
位于吉拉多海角的密苏里东南州立大学有一位我非常喜欢的老师,他奇特的幽默感很是出名。在对一个新生班级讲解他的基本原则时,他说:“我知道我的讲课可能经常会枯燥乏味,了无生趣,所以如果你们在上课时看表我并不介意。不过我坚决反对你们将表在课桌上猛敲看它们是不是还在走。”
幽默英语小故事3:
A shoplifter(商店扒手) was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook(骗子,坏蛋) looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”
经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。"
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
There was a farmer who fell and broke his hip while he was plowing(耕地) , and his horse immediately galloped(疾驰,飞奔) five miles to the nearest town and returned, carrying a doctor on his back.
"That’s a pretty smart horse," the farmer’s friend later observed.
"Well, he’s not really so smart," the farmer said. "The doctor he brought back was a veterinarian!"
一位农夫在犁田时,不慎跌倒摔伤了屁股,他的马立即飞奔到五哩外最近的小镇,载了一位医生回来。一个朋友看到后便夸赞说:“你这匹马真是聪明!”
农夫说:“也没有你想的那么聪明啦!它带来的是一位兽医!”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来少儿幽默英语小故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in arumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenlysmacked with a spatula by his wife.
Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.
一位濒临死亡的老人正躺在他的床上,承受着死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味顺着楼下飘了上来,那正是他最喜欢的巧克力小薄饼的味道。他用尽吃奶的力气挣扎着从床上爬了起来,倚着墙,慢慢地走出了卧室,并且用最后的力量用双手抓住扶手走下了楼梯。老人靠在门框上,嘴里喘着气,眼睛凝神着厨房。
如果不是因为承受着临死的痛苦,老人会认为自己到了天堂。那里,在厨房铺着报纸的桌子上,确切地说有数百个他最喜欢吃的巧克力小薄饼。真在天堂吗?还是他那离婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的爱心显示,以便让他开心地离开这个世界?
集中最后的力量,老人跪着双膝挣扎着移向桌子。他口干舌燥,嘴巴张开。他感受到了美妙的甜饼味道,仿佛要将他带回人世。他的一只年迈干瘪的手颤颤悠悠地伸向桌子边缘的一只小甜饼。突然,他妻子扔过一把铲子,砸在他的手上。
“离远点”,他妻子说。“这是为你的葬礼准备的。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来地道英语幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A man and his wife were cleaning out the attic when the husband found an ancient receipt.
一对夫妇正在清理阁楼,这时先生发现一张过期很久的旧收据。
"Hey, Nancy, look at this. It's a receipt for a pair of shoes I left to be repaired and never picked up.It's eleven years old."
“嘿,南茜,你过来看看这个,这张是以前皮鞋送修的收据,我忘了去拿回来,足足有十一年之久了!”
"You know, that shoe repair shop is still there," replied the wife.
“那间鞋店不是还在那里吗?”妻子回答。
"Why don't you just drop in there and hand him the receipt as if it were nothing unusual. "
“为什么不跑一趟,把收据交给他,就当作没事发生一样?"
And that is what the husband did.
先生去了那家鞋店。
Quietly the cobbler went to the back of his shop and poked around a bit,
鞋匠静静地走到后头,东翻西翻了一会儿之后,
came back to the counter and said "They'II be ready next Tuesday. "
回到柜台说道:“下星期二才能修好!”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的地道英语幽默故事带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
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想用轻松愉快的心情来学习英语吗?下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默短笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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