为您找到与初中英语笑话简单相关的共200个结果:
笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On a family vacation in "Texas,my brother-in-law Mike exhibited the exuberance of a tourist. At a diner,he and his brothers ordered cheeseburgers When his meal arrived,the first thing Mike noticed was its size.
一次,我们全家到德克萨斯去度假。姐夫迈克,好像是最有活力的旅游者。吃晚饭的时候,他为大家要了吉士汉堡包。当汉堡包被端上来后,迈克注意到的第一件事就是汉堡包的个儿挺大.
"Wow,“he exclaimed,"everything is bigger in Texas !”
“噢,”他喊道:“德克萨斯的每样东西都比其他地方的大。”
As he lifted the burger to his lips,his eyes met the cold stare of a 300-pound waitress.
就在他拿起汉堡要吃的时候,他的眼睛注意到了送汉堡的女服务员那冰冷的眼光。她足有三百镑重。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语简单幽默笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him.She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways.Wow,she thought,this crab is really special.I can't let him get away.So they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs,and got upset."What happened?" she asked." You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh,honey," he replied,"I can't drink that much every day.
一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹,便要娶她为妻.她注意到他走路是直着走,而不是横着走.哇!她想,这只雄蟹可真特别,我可不能让他跑了.因此他们立刻结婚了.
第二天,她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了.她深感不安.“你怎么了?”她问,“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的.”
“哦,宝贝,”他回答说,“我不可能每天都喝那么多.”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的英语简单幽默笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默简单英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
One morning a fox sees a cock. He think,“This is my breakfast.”
He comes up to the cock and says, “I know you can sing very well. Can you sing for me?” The cock is glad. He closes his eyes and begins to sing. The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox. They cry, “Look, look! The fox is carrying the cock away.” The cock says to the fox, “Mr. Fox, do you understand? The people say you are carrying their cock away. Tell them it is yours. Not theirs.”
The fox opens his mouth and says, “The cock is mine, not yours.” Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
一天早上,一只狐狸看到了一只公鸡。他想:这是我的早餐。
他朝公鸡走来,对他说:“我知道,你能唱得非常好听,你能唱给我听么?”公鸡很高兴。他闭上眼睛开始唱歌。狐狸看到这些抓住它放到自己的嘴里走了。
在田地里的人们看到了狐狸。大喊大叫:“看,看!狐狸抓住公鸡逃走了。”公鸡对狐狸说:“狐狸先生,你能理解么?人们认为你叼走了公鸡。告诉他们这是你的,不是他们的。”
狐狸张开她的嘴说:“公鸡是我的,不是你们的。”就在那时,公鸡跑到了树底下。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中英语笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
“I'm sorry ,Madam ,but I shall have to charge you twenty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .”
“Twenty d ollars! Why ,I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!”
“Yes ,but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .”
“对不起,夫人,为您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。”
“20美元!为什么?不是说好只要4美元。”
“是的,但是你的孩子大喊大叫,把另外四个病人吓跑了。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单英语幽默笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A mother saw her three-year-old son put nickel in his mouth and swallowed it. She immediately picked hime up, turned him upside down and hit him on the back, whereupon he coughed up two dimes. Frantically, she called to the father outside. "Your son just swallowed a nickel and coughed up two dimes!What shall I do? "Yelled back the father,"Keep feeding him nickels!"
母亲见三岁的儿子将一枚五分镍币放进嘴里吞了下去,她立刻将他抱起,头朝下不停地拍打他的后背,他咳出了两枚一角的硬币,她发狂似的朝正在外面的孩子父亲喊道: “你儿子刚才吞下了一枚五分镍币,可咳出两枚一角的硬币!我该怎么办呢?”孩子他爸大声回答道:“再喂他几枚镍币!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单英语幽默笑话五则,欢迎大家阅读!
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?" The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend."
一个小偷在一家珠宝店企图偷走一只手表的时候被当场擒获。“听着,”小偷说,“我知道你们也不想惹麻烦。我把这只表买下,然后我们就当什么也没发生,你看怎样?”经理表示同意,然后列了一张售货单。小偷看着单子说道:“这比我最初的预算稍稍高了一点,你们还有没有便宜一点儿东西。”
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单有趣英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Landon had made an unsuccessful attempt at the recitation,and the doctor,somewhat nettled,said:“Landon,you don't seem to be getting on very fast in this subject.You seem to lack ambition.Why,at your age Alexander the Great had conquered half the world.”
“Yes,” said Landon,“he couldn't help it,for you will recall the fact,doctor,that Alexander the Great had Aristotle for a teacher.”
兰登作了一次不成功的朗诵.老师有点不悦,对他说道:
“兰登,你在这门课上好像进步不大,你好像缺乏志向.亚历山大大帝在你这个年龄可已经征服了半个世界.”
“是啊,”兰登说,“他没法不那样.博士先生,您回想一下史实,亚历山大大帝有亚里士多德做他的老师.”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来小学简单幽默英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Correct the sentence, "A bull and a cow is grazing in the field".
老师:改错,“一头公牛牛和公牛正在地里吃草。”
Student: A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
学生:一头母牛和公牛正在地里吃草。
Teacher: How?
老师:怎么改的?
Student: Ladies first.
学生:女士优先。
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语冷笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up." Right away, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
代课教师试图运用她的心理学知识。开始上课时,她说:“谁觉得自己很愚蠢,请站起来。”小约翰马上站起来了。老师问:“为什么你觉得你很愚蠢呢,小约翰?”“我不觉得我很蠢,只是我不愿意你一个人站在那!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单的英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, the pretty girl said, "I would like to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per yard," replied the male clerk with a smirk. "That's fine," said the girl. "I'll take ten yards."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out the cloth, wrapped it up, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package, pointed to the old geezer standing beside her, and smiled, "Grandpa will pay the bill."
一个漂亮的女孩走到百货公司的布料柜台,说:“我想要买这种料子来做一条新裙子,多少钱?”
“每码只需要一个吻。”男售货员说着,带着奸笑的表情“很好,”女孩说,“我要十码。”
带着期待的表情,售货员很快地量好了布料,包裹好,一脸奸笑地送了过来。
女孩很快收起了包裹,微笑着指向了一个站在她身边的老头:“爷爷给我付账。
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语爆笑笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
At an exhibition of the world's best swordsman, the third-place fencer took the stage. A fly was released, and with an arc of his sword he cut the fly in half. The crowd cheered. Then the second-place man sliced a fly into quarters. A hush fell in anticipation of the world's greatest swordsman.
His blade came down in a mighty arc - but the insect continued on its way! The crowd was aghast. The greatest swordsman had missed his target completely, yet he continued to smile.
"Why are you so happy?" someone yelled. "You missed!"
"Ah," replied the swordsman, "you weren't watching very carefully. They fly lives, yes - but he will never be a father."
在一场世界最佳击剑手表演中,排名第三的击剑手上场了。一只苍蝇放了出来,剑划了一个弧,他将苍蝇劈成了两半。观众欢呼起来。紧接着排名第二的人将一只苍蝇切成了四半。现场一阵沉默,人们期盼着世界上最伟大的击剑手出场。
他的剑锋以一个巨大的弧线划了下来--然而那只昆虫还在继续飞行!观众被惊呆了。最伟大的击剑手完全错过了他的目标,然而他还在微笑着。
“你为什么这么高兴?”有人嚷道,“你没击中!”
“啊,”剑手答道,“你刚才没有很仔细地看。苍蝇还活着,是的--但他永远也做不成爸爸了。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单爆笑英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
Two roaches were munching on garbage in an alley when one engages a discussion about a new restaurant."I was in that new restaurant across the street," said one. "It's so clean! The kitchen is spotless, and the floors are gleaming white. There is no dirt anywhere--it's so sanitary that the whole place shines.""Please," said the other roach frowning. "Not while I'm eating!"
两只蟑螂正在一条小巷的垃圾堆上大吃着,其中的一只谈起了它在一家新开张的餐馆里的经历。“那时我在街对面的那家新餐馆里,”它说。“那里太干净了!厨房没有一点污渍,地面闪着白光。任何地方都没有垃圾。那里是如此干净,整个地方都在发光。”“请不要在我吃东西的时候说这个好吗?”另一只蟑螂不悦地说。
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
"What are you so happy about?"a woman asked the 98-year-old man.
"I broke a mirror," he replied.
"But that means seven years of bad luck."
"I know." he said, beaming,"Isn’t it wonderful?"
这难道不好吗?
“你高兴什么?”一个女士问一个98岁的老人。
“我打碎了一个镜子。”他回答。
“但那预示着7年的坏运气。”
“我知道。”他高兴地说,“这难道不好吗?”
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语简单爆笑笑话,希望大家会喜欢!
Jimmy is three years old.
吉米3岁了。
One day, he was gazing out of the window when the night fell. He suddenly shouted, "Mum, mum, come close the window!"
一天,他正在窗口观望,夜幕降临。他突然喊道:“妈妈,妈妈,快来关窗!”
"Why? It's not cold, sonny."
“为什么?天不冷呀,宝贝。”
"Yes, mum, but the night will come inside."
“是的,妈妈,可黑夜会进来。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中简单英文笑话,希望大家喜欢!
There was a meeting with a large number of people. At first the speaker was very interesting, but as time went on, he became very boring. Finally when he was through, there was only one man sitting in the large room.
The speaker walked up to the man and said, "Thank you for hearing me out when all the others left the room."
"Oh! Don't mention it!" replied the man, "I cannot leave because I am the next speaker."
在一个很多人参加的会议中,刚开始演讲者说得非常有趣,但渐渐地,他说得越来越令人厌烦.结果,当会议结束的时候,大会议室里只剩一个人了.
演讲者走过去跟那个人说:”谢谢你,其他人都走了,只有你还在听我说.”
“噢,别客气.”那个人回答说,”我不走,是因为我是下一位演讲者!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初中英语幽默笑话三则,希望大家喜欢!
Three men were standing in line to get into heaven one day. Apparently it had been a pretty busy day, though, so St. Peter had to tell the first one, "Heaven's getting pretty close to full today, and I've been asked to admit only people who have had particularly horrible deaths. So what's your story?"
某日,三个男人排队等着进天堂。而显然那一天天堂很忙,所以圣彼得走出来对第一个人说:“今天天堂快满员了,我只能让一个死的最可怜的人进去,来说说你是怎么死的吧。”
The first man replies: "Well, for a while I've suspected my wife has been cheating on me, so today I came home early to try to catch her red-handed. As I came into my 25th floor apartment, I could tell something was wrong, but all my searching around didn't reveal where this other guy could have been hiding. Finally, I went out to the balcony, and sure enough, there was this man hanging off the railing, 25 floors above ground! By now I was really mad, so I started beating on him and kicking him, but wouldn't you know it, he wouldn't fall off. So finally I went back into my apartment and got a hammer and starting hammering on his fingers. Of course, he couldn't stand that for long, so he let go and fell-but even after 25 stories, he fell into the bushes, stunned but okay. I couldn't stand it anymore, so I ran into the kitchen, grabbed the fridge, and threw it over the edge where it landed on him, killing him instantly. But all the stress and anger got to me, and I had a heart attack and died there on the balcony."
第一个男人回答说:“这段时间以来我一直都怀疑我的老婆有了外遇,所以今天我就提早回家想要抓她个正着。我回到我位于25楼的公寓,我敢肯定有什么地方不对,但任凭我把房子翻了个底儿朝天也找不到那个男人。终于,当我搜到阳台的时候发现那个奸夫正吊在阳台的栏杆上!我气坏了,开始对他拳打脚踢,可你能相信吗?他居然就是掉不下去!于是我又返回屋里,拿了只锤子出来敲他的手。他终于掉下去了,但他居然只是掉进灌木丛,还是没死!我再也忍受不了了,进屋把冰箱抬了出来、整个儿给他砸下去……他终于死了。而我呢,这时也因为太过愤怒,心脏病发,也死在了阳台上。”
"That sounds like a pretty bad day to me," said Peter, and let the man in.
“那听起来是够惨的。”圣彼得说,于是让他进去了。
The second man comes up and Peter explains to him about heaven being full, and again asks for his story.
轮到第二个男人,圣彼得解释了相同的事,要他说说自己的死亡原因。
"It's been a very strange day. You see, I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building, and every morning I do my exercises out on my balcony. Well, this morning I must have slipped or something, because I fell over the edge. But I got lucky, and caught the railing of the balcony on the floor below me. I knew I couldn't hang on for very long, when suddenly this man burst out onto the balcony. I thought for sure I was saved, when he started beating on me and kicking me. I held on the best I could until he ran into the apartment and grabbed a hammer and started pounding on my hands. Finally I just let go, but again I got lucky and fell into the bushes below, stunned but all right. Just when I was thinking I was going to be okay, this refrigerator comes falling out of the sky and crushes me instantly, and now I'm here."
“今天真是奇怪极了。看,我住26楼,每天早晨都在我的阳台上锻炼。今天一早,也不知怎么的,我踩滑了、掉下了楼。幸运的是,我及时抓住了25楼阳台上的栏杆。我知道即便如此我也撑不了多久,而恰好一个男人走到了阳台上来。我开心极了,想自己一定得救了。哪知道,他一过来就对我拳打脚踢、接着还进屋拿了一只锤子砸我的手指。我终于掉下去了。但我掉进了灌木丛,也只是晕了一下而已。我正想着我应该没事的,就看着从天而降一个冰箱,跟着我就到了这儿……”
Once again, Peter had to concede that that sounded like a pretty horrible death.
圣彼得不得不承认这家伙死的很惨,让他进了天堂。
The third man came to the front of the line, and again the whole process was repeated. Peter explained that heaven was full and asked for his story.
最后,终于轮到第三个男人了。圣彼得对他提出了相同的问题。
"Picture this," says the third man, "I'm hiding naked inside a refrigerator..."
这个男人说:“看吧,我裸着身子、藏在冰箱里……”
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单的英语幽默笑话,希望对大家有帮助。
"i had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."一个男人对他的朋友说:“我动了一次手术,手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”
"that's terrible!" said the friend. "got any pain?"
“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道:“你觉得疼吗?”
"no, but i am always thirsty!"
“不疼,可是我总感到口渴!”
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