为您找到与关于英语的趣味故事相关的共200个结果:
幽默故事,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来四则趣味幽默的英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Back at my high school for the tenth reunion, I met my old coach. Walking through the gym, we came upon a plaque on which l was still listed as the record holder for the longest softball throw. Noticing my surprise, the coach said, "That record will stand forever."I was about to make some modest disclaimer that records exist to be broken, when he added, "We stopped holding that event years ago."
高中毕业十年以后,我回母校团聚,碰到以前的教练。我们穿过体育馆的时候,看到一块牌匾,上面刻着我的名字,我仍然是垒球投掷量远纪录保持者。注意到我的诧异,老教练说:这个纪录永远不会被打破了。当我刚想谦虚几句说纪录的存在就是为了被打破时,他补充说:“我们几年前就取消这项比赛了。”
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幽默故事,能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑,得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面读文网小编为大家带来四则趣味幽默的英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。
"Here is the situation," she said.ua man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance,falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help. His wife hears the commotion.knows that he can't swim,and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank ?" A girl raised her hand and asked, "to draw out all of his savings ?"
她举了这么一个例子:“有这样一种情况,一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼,突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。他的妻子听到了喊声,知道他并不会游泳,于是就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么?”一个女生举手答道,“是不是去取化的存款?”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国英语趣味故事,希望大家喜欢!
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch Unfortunately, after just afew years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
两个姐妹,一个是金色头发,另一个是黑色头发,她们继承了家里的农场。不幸的是,几年后,她们出现了经济上台阶的困难。为了能够使农场不被银行收回,她们必须去买一头牛,这样就可以喂养自己的家畜。
The brunette balances their checkbook,then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.
黑头发的姐姐查看了账簿,取出了最后的600美元,要到西边的牧场去,因为那里有一个人在卖一头好牛。
Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’11 contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it.
离开之前,她告诉自己的妹妹:“到那以后,如果我决定了买牛,我就和你联系,你开车来找我,我们把牛拉回家。”姐姐到了那个农场,仔细地看了看牛,确定了要买这头牛。
The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.
卖牛的告诉她,他可以以599美元的价钱卖牛,可不能再低了。付过钱后,姐姐开车到了最近的一个镇子上,给妹妹发电报告诉她这个消息。
She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick一up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”
她走进了电报局,说:“我想给我的妹妹发一封电报,告诉她我已经为我们的农场买下了牛,我需要她把拖车挂在小货车后,开到这里,好把我们的牛拉回家。”
The telegraph operator explains thathe'1l be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.
电报员说他很愿意帮忙,然后说:"99分一个字。”姐姐在付过买牛的钱以后就只剩下1美元了。
She realizes that she'11 only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word,’‘comfortable’ .”
她想,这样只能给妹妹发一个字,考虑了几分钟,她点点头说:“我想给我妹妹发一个字 —‘舒适’(comfortable)。”
The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you
want her to hitch the trailer to your pick一 up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”
电报员摇摇头说:“如果你就只发一个字 —‘舒适’,你的妹妹又怎么能明白你想让她把拖车挂在小货车上,开到这里拉牛回家呢?”
The brunette explains, “My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.
姐姐解释道:“我妹妹是黄头发,她会慢慢的读。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国英语趣味故事,希望大家喜欢!
Maxine, the platinum blonde, reported for her final examination which consisted of Yes/No answers. She took her seat in the examination hall, stared at the question paper, and then in a bit of inspiration, took a quarter out of her purse. She started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet" Yes" for heads and "No" for tails. Within 30 minutes she was all done whereas the rest of the class was still sweating it out. During the last few minutes of the exam period,Maxine frantically started flipping the coin again.
麦西尼有一头银白色秀发,正在参加期末考试,试卷上的题目只有“对”和“不对”两种答案。她在考场里坐了下来开始答卷,这时她灵机一动,从钱包里拿出了一枚两角五分的硬币,往上抛硬币,出现正面就填“对”,反面就填“不对”。只用了30分钟的时间,她就做完了,而此时别的同学还在冥思苦想。但离考试完毕还有最后几分钟时,麦西尼又开始疯狂地抛硬币。
The moderator, concerned about what she was doing, stopped by her desk and asked if she was ok.
监考官对她的所作所为很好奇,便走到她的桌旁,问她是否有问题。
"Oh yes, I' m fine. I finished the exam a half hour ago一but,”explaining the frantic coin tossing, "I' m going back through and checking my answers!”
“我还好,半小时前我就答完了,现在我想从后往前的再检查一遍。”她这样解释抛硬币的原因。
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来外国英语趣味故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
A psychiatrist’s secretary walked into his study and said, "There's a gentleman in the waiting room asking to see you. Claims he's invisible.” The psychiatrist responded, "Tell him I can't see him.”
一位精神学医师的秘书走进他的书房,对他说:“有一位先生在候客厅,他想要见您,并声称自己是隐形人。”医师回答道:“告诉他,我看不见他。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.
"Yes, sir," replied the driver.
"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"
"I would have, officer, " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman, and I was afraid you were bringing her back.
一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗?”他责问道。
“知道,长官,”司机回答说。
“那你为什么不立即靠边停车?”
“我本来想这样做的,长官。”那男子回答说,“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了,我是害怕你把她带回来。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松趣味英语故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
A woman came into our bank to get a check cashed,but she didn't have an account with us. When I asked her for some identification, she showed me several charge cards,her Social Security card and a library card. I told her we needed a driver's license,but she didri t have one.
一位妇女来到我们银行想兑换一张支票,但她在我们这儿没建立帐户。当我问她要证明材料时,她把社会保险卡、图书卡拿给我看。我告诉她我们要看她的驾驶证,她说她没有。
"Don't you have something with your picture on it?"I asked.
“难道你就没带照片的东西吗?”
"Oh, sure,"she said as she flipped to a family photo in her wallet. "That's me in the back row. "
“噢,有啊,”她边说边从钱包里拿出一张合家照,“站在后排的那个就是我。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
One semester when my brother, Peter,attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis,an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter's portait for a class.assignment. Peter agreed,and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.
我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时,有一个学期,他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做素描的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了,就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-.
The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect.”The head is too big,”the professor explained.”The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous."
那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调,教授说:“脑袋太大,肩太宽,脚也过于大了。”
The next day,the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one Look at my brother."Okay, A minus. "he said.
第二天,那位艺术生带彼得见教授,教授看了我兄弟一眼,并说:“好,可以得A-。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选英语趣味小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Once, late at night, an Englishman came out of his room into the corridor of a hotel and asked the servant to bring him a glass of water. The servant did as he was asked. The Englishman re-entered his room, but a few minutes later he came into the corridor again and once more asked the servant for a glass of water. The servant brought him another glass of water.
Every few minutes the Englishman would come out of his room and repeat his request. After a half-hour the astonished servant decided to ask the Englishman what he was doing with the water. "Nothing," the Englishman answered imperturbably, "It's simply that my room is on fire."
曾经有一个英国人半夜从房间里出来,来到旅店的走廊上,向旅店的服务员要了一杯水。服务员拿来了水,英国人就回到了房间,可几 分钟之后他又走了出来,向服务员又要了一杯水。服务员又拿了一杯。英国人每隔几分钟就走出房间,不断地要水。
半个小时之后,这位惊讶不已的服务员打算问问 房客要水做什么,英国人泰然自若地回答:“没什么,只不过是我的房间里起火了。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来精选趣味英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
I lived in DC when I was young, and dad used to take us on weekend trips south into the Carolina, so that we could see what "real life" was like. He’d just drive along the road for a while, and then pull over at some farm and start talking to the people there.
Dad was chatting up a farmer’s wife once,when I discovered this pig...
It was a nice pig. But it only had three legs. The right back leg was wooden! Well, I was ascurious as could be, so I asked the farmer:"Excuse me, sir. Why does your pig have a wooden leg?"
"Well, boy. That is a courageous pig. The wife and me were asleep in the house one night, when that pig came running in and woke us up. The whole place was ablaze. We just got out alive."
"And the pig got its leg burned up in the fire?"
"Nope. Pig got out just fine. Matter of fact, he even went back in and saved the kids."
"Then why does the pig have a wooden leg?"
"I told you, boy. That is a BRAVE pig! A heroic pig! That pig saved our lives!"
"Yes, sir. But why does he have a wooden leg!"
"Boy, a pig like that, you don’t eat all in one sitting!"
我小的时候生活在华盛顿。到了周末,爸爸常常带我们到南部的卡罗莱纳州去玩。正是在那里我们看到了什么是“真正的生活”。爸爸会沿路开一会儿车,然后把车停在路边,找农场里的人聊聊天。
正当爸爸和一个农妇聊天时,我发现了这只猪……
那只猪很漂亮,可只有三条腿,右后腿还是用木头做的!我对这点很好奇。于是就问那个农民:“先生,为什么你的猪有一只木头腿啊?”
“是这样的,孩子。这是一只勇敢的猪。有天晚上,我和妻子正在房里睡觉时,这只猪跑进来叫醒了我们,我们才知道房子着火了。我们立刻跑了出去,才保住了性命。”
“这只猪的腿是在那场火灾中烧坏的吗?”
“不是的,它完好无损地跑了出去。实际上,它甚至还跑了回去,把我们的孩子也救了出来。”
“那为何这只猪会有一只木头腿呢?”
“我已经告诉你了,孩子。那是只勇敢的猪!一只英勇的猪!它救了我们全家人的性命!”
“是的,先生。可是为何它有只木头腿呢?”
“孩子,像这样的猪,我们是不舍得一次就把它吃光的!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松英语趣味短故事,欢迎大家阅读!
An old man visited a doctor to consult as to what he should do,. The doctor gave him some instructions.
The old man shook his head and started to leave the office. The doctor said: "Sir, you forget to pay me." "Pay you for what?" said the old man. The doctor replied: "For myadvice."
"No, sir, no, sir," the old man replied, "I am not going to take it."
有个老头去找医生咨询,问他该怎么做,医生给他提了一些建议。
老头摇摇头就要离开诊室。医生说:“先生,你忘记了付费了。”“付什么费呀?”老头说。医生回答说:“付咨询费给我呀。”
老头说:“不啦,先生,我没有打算接受你的意见。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语短故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
At the age of 16, Edely decided to leave home and join a theater company. His father wasappalled(惊骇的), "A son of mine on the stage? It's a disgrace!" he wailed. "What if the neighbors find out?"
"I'll change my name," the comic-to-be volunteered. "
"Change your name!" His father screamed. "What if you're a success? How will the neighbors know it's my son?"
埃迪十六岁了,他决定离开家去参加一个剧团。他的爸爸气坏了。 “让我的儿子上舞台演戏?真丢脸!”他大叫道,“邻居们知道了怎么想?”
“我会改一个名字。”这位未来的滑稽演员主动提出。
“改名字!”他爸爸喊叫着,“那如果你出了名怎么办?怎么让邻居们知道你就是我的儿子呢?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味英语短故事,欢迎大家阅读!
We were gathered together, all ten of us, for our widowed mother's 80th birthday. The conversation was of early struggles, walking to work and saving up in clothing clubs, when my elder sister said, "Of course, we were bound to be poor because we were such a big family. Mom, why did you have so many children?"
Mother looked around at us all and said, "Well, where did you want to me to stop?"
我们总共十个人,聚在一起祝贺已成为寡妇的妈妈的八十岁生日。谈的话题是我们家早年的艰辛,走着去上班,在“新衣会”里存钱准备买衣裳。这时我姐姐说:“当然,我们的生活没法子不艰难,因为我们家孩子太多了。妈妈,您为什么要生这么多的孩子呢?”
妈妈看了我们一圈说:“那么,你想让我在哪儿停住呢?”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味幽默小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A man was getting very absent-minded. One evening he went to visit a friend and chatted with him for about two hours. When he was going to leave, his friend asked, "How is your family?" The absent-minded man suddenly exclaimed. "Good heavens! I forget my wife is having a fit(大发脾气)."
有个人老是心不在焉,记性越来越差了。有一天晚上他去看望一个朋友,和朋友闲聊了大约两个小时。 当他准备离去时,朋友问他:“你家里的人都好吗?”这个心不在焉的人忽然惊叫道:“天啦,我忘了我妻子正在大发脾气呢。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来趣味幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
One day after school the teacher said to his students, “Tomorrow morning, if any one of you can answer my first question, I will permit him or her to go home
earlier.” The next day, when the teacher came into the classroom, he found the blackboard daubed. He was very angry and asked, “Who did it? Please stand up!” “It's me,” said Bob, “Now, I can go home. Good-bye, Sir.”
一天,放学以后,老师对他的学生们说:“明天上午,如果你们当中的任何一个同学能首先回答我的问题,我就准许他或她最先回家。”第二天,老师走进教室时发现黑板被涂得乱七八糟,他非常生气的问:“谁涂的?请站起来!”鲍勃说:“先生,是我,现在我可以回家了,再见!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味爆笑小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
Bring me the winner
-- Waiter, this lobster has only one claw.
-- I'm sorry, sir. It must have been in a fight.
-- Well, bring me the winner then.
给我那个打赢的吧
-- 服务员,
这个龙虾只有一只爪。
-- 对不起,先生,这只肯定打过架了。
-- 哦, 那给我那个打赢的吧。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker, "Attention, passengers. We have lost one of our engines, but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a r esult."
Shortly thereafter, the passengers heard the captain's voice again, "Guess what, folks. We just lost our third engine, but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late."
At this point, one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake," he shouted, "If we lose another engine, we'll be up here all night!"
只剩一个引擎
一架747客机正在跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意,我们的四个引擎中有一个丢失了。但剩下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。只是我们要因此晚到一小时。” 过了一会儿,旅客们又听到机长的声音:“各位,你们猜怎么啦?我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了。只有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。” 正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的份上,如果我们再掉一个引擎,我们就要整夜都要呆在天上了。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语趣味幽默故事带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A lawyer named Strange was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it. "Here lies an honest man and a lawyer," responded the lawyer. "Sorry, but I can't do that," replied the stonecutter. "In this state, it's against the law to bury two people in the same grave. However, I could put ``here lies an honest lawyer" "But that won't let people know who it is" protested the lawyer. "Certainly will," retorted the stonecutter. "people will read it and exclaim, "That's Strange!"
一个姓Strange的律师去买墓碑。他选好了以后,石匠问他,要在墓碑上刻什么碑铭。律师回答:“这里长眠着一个诚实的人,一个律师。”“对不起,我办不到,”石匠说,“要是这样的话,违反了一个坟墓只能埋葬一个人的法律。不过,我会刻上:‘这里长眠着一位诚实的律师’。” 律师抗议:“但是那样人们就不知道这里埋葬的是谁啊!”“当然知道啦,”石匠反驳道,“人们看到会惊呼‘太奇怪了!’”
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