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经典的英语故事总能够打动人心,你想阅读一些经典的英语故事吗?下面读文网小编为大家推荐几个经典的英语小故事,希望大家喜欢!
一天,父亲与小儿子一道回家。这个孩子正处于那种对什么事都很感兴趣的年龄,老是有提不完的问题。他向父亲发问道:“爸爸,‘醉’字是什么意思?” “唔,孩子,”父亲回答说,“你瞧那儿站着两个警察。如果我把他们看成了四个,那么我就算醉了。” “可是,爸爸, ”孩子说,“那儿只有一个警察呀!”
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学习英语,阅读真的很重要,多阅读一些简单的英语笑话也是提高英语阅读能力的一种,下面读文网小编在这里整理了一些经典英语搞笑笑话大家,希望大家会喜欢这些英语笑话!
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges,delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my coworkers for help; they offered no new ideas. After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of yellow paper?"
我在惠普公司打印机部做技术支持工作已经有一个月了,有一天我接到一位客户的电话,她的问题我没办法解决。她的问题是:打印机不能打出来黄色,但是其它颜色都正常。这让我觉得很纳闷,因为三原色就是蓝、红、黄。我建议客户更换墨盒、删了驱动程序然后重新安装,但是都没有效果。我咨询同事们,他们也不知道该怎么办。经过两个多小时的交涉,我打算让客户把打印机寄给我们,这时候她平静地说了一句:“我是不是应该把这张黄纸扔了换一张白纸再打印试试。”
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下面是读文网小编整理的15则经典英语幽默故事,欢迎大家阅读!
During my second year at university I was having trouble deciding on my major. In a agonizing discussion with my adviser, I decided to double major in astrophysics and theater. Getting up to leave, I said, “ Thanks for your help. But what am I going to do once I graduate?”
My adviser shrugged,“ You could be a star,” he said.
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我们要学会与动物和谐相处,爱护和保护身边的可爱的小动物。下面读文网小编为大家带来两篇有关动物的经典英语故事,欢迎大家阅读!
浙江天台山的山峰是青黛色的,犹如竖起的画屏。远客纷沓而至,观其美景。
The peaks of Tiantai Mountain in Zhejiang are green and black. They stand like an ornamental screen. People come from far away to enjoy the scenery here.
几千年来,这些秀丽的山峰上都建有许多的寺庙。有一个大庙的主持名叫智顗,约生活在公元539-597年间。因为他的智慧,隋炀帝赐封他为智者大师,这个名字至今仍为人们所知。
For thousands of years, there have been many temples in these beautiful mountains. The head of a big temple there was called Zhiyi. He lived from about 539 to 597 AD. Because he was so wise, the Emperor Yang of the Sui dynasty gave him the title The Wise Master, and this is how he is known even today.
当时,智者大师觉得时下之人过于残忍,尤其是满足口腹之欲时。他们可以杀掉任何活物,然后吃掉。
At the time, The Wise Master felt that people were too cruel, especially when they wanted something to eat. They would kill almost anything that moved and eat it.
他觉得必须做点什么。但怎么做呢?僧侣们又没有钱。所以智者大师开始化缘,几年后,他终于攒了足够的钱。他拿这笔钱买了一块地,并雇了一些人来帮他建一个池子。
He decided something had to be done. But how? Monks don't have any money. So The Wise Master became a beggar for several years until he finally got enough money to get some land and hire some workers to build him a pond.
人们看到后,纷纷嘲笑智者大师其实是个傻瓜!
When people saw that, they laughed and said The Wise Master is pretty dumb!
大师是智者,所以他一点也不在乎别人的嘲笑,继续建造他的池塘。
Because he was so wise, The Wise Master didn't care how much they laughed at him. He kept up work on his pond.
工人们休息时,大师就向他们宣讲佛教。他说:“佛经上说‘一切众生皆有佛性。’你也许会对一条鱼或者一只螃蟹不以为然,但是它们也能成佛。”
When the workers had spare time, he told them about Buddhism. He said, "The sutras (the holy books of Buddhism) say, 'All living creatures have Buddha nature.' You may not think much of a fish or a crab, but they too can become Buddhas.
“野生动物也同样有佛性。如果一个人被野兽所杀,我们觉得很悲惨,我们会为那个人觉得难过。你们有没有想过,当你们杀了一条鱼,其他的鱼也认为这很悲惨,同样也会为这条鱼感到难过吗?”
"Wild animals all have Buddha natures, too. If somebody gets killed by a wild animal, we think it's tragic. We feel sorry for that person. Hasn't it ever occurred to you that when you kill a fish, the other fish think it's tragic, and feel sorry for the dead fish?"
智者大师解释说,他之所以要挖一个池塘,就是为了让人们有地方将鱼蟹放生,而鱼蟹也可以安居乐命。他把他的池塘起名为放生池。
The Wise Master explained that he was making a pond so anybody who had a fish or crab could have a place to release it and let it live out its life in peace. He called his pond the Free Life Pond.
工人们都被感动了,那些曾经嘲笑智者大师的人也为自己的自私感到羞愧。他们全都皈依了佛教,并且再也不杀生吃肉了。
The workmen were moved, and the people who had laughed at him felt sorry for being so mean. They became Buddhists, and stopped killing animals to eat their meat.
其他的寺庙也沿袭了智者大师的做法。如果你有机会参观中国的佛寺,你很可能会看到放生池,里面生活着无忧无虑的鱼、蟹和乌龟等,这些动物也不用担心被人吃掉。
Other temples copied his idea. If you have a chance to visit a Chinese Buddhist temple, you can probably see their Free Life Pond, full of happy fish and crabs and turtles that are safe from the worry of being cooked and eaten.
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
汤姆:约翰尼,你小弟弟好吗?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
约翰尼:他害病卧床了。他受了伤
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
汤姆:真糟糕,怎么回事?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
约翰尼:我们做游戏,看谁能把身子探出窗外最远,他赢了。
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
"All the kids make fun of me,” The boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head.”
“所有的孩子都拿我取乐。”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说:“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“Don't listen to them,” his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes.
“别听他们的。”他妈妈安慰说。“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了,别哭了,去到店里买10磅土豆来。”
"Where's the shopping bag'?"
“兜子在哪儿呢?”
"I haven't got one, use your hat.”
“我没有兜子,就用你的帽子吧。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
A poor little lonely old lady lived in a house with only her cat as a friend. One day, the lights went out as she sat knitting; she had been unable to pay the electric bill. So, she went up to the suit and got an old oil lamp from her childhood. As she rubbed it clean a genie appeared and allowed her three wishes.
一个穷困而孤苦伶仃的老太太和她的猫住在一间房子里。一天.她正坐椅子上织毛衣,可灯却熄灭了。因为她已交不起电钱了。于是她走到阁楼_匕找出了一只小时候用的油灯。当她擦拭油灯的时候,一个妖怪出现了,要帮她实现三个心愿。
"First, I want to be so rich I never have to worry about money again.”
“首先,我想变得很有钱,再也不用为钱担心了。”
"Second, I want to be young and beautiful again.”
“然后,我想再变回到年轻时那漂亮的样子。”
"And Last,I want you to change my little cat into a handsome prince.”
“最后,我想让我的猫变成一位英俊潇洒的王子。”
*POOF*
璞!
As the smoke cleared she saw she was surrounded by big bags of coins, and that in the mirror was a young beautiful woman. She turned as the handsome prince walked in the door, held her in his arms and said, "Now I'11 bet you're sorry you took me to the vet for that little operation.”
随着一阵烟雾漫漫散开,她看见自己的周围都是大袋子的钱币,镜子里照出的是一位年青漂亮的女人,在她转身的时候,那位英俊的王子走到了门前,将她抱入怀中,对她说:“现在我敢打赌,你一定为把我送到兽医那里做这个小手术而感到后悔。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事三则,希望大家喜欢!
A man walks into a bar with a Leprechaun on his shoulder. He walks up the bar and sets on down. He proceeds to order a beer for himself and for the little Leprechaun. Well, the guy and the Leprechaun drink about two beers when finally the Leprechaun jumps down off the guy' s shoulder, trots down the bar and stands in front of a rather large construction worker. He looks at the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbttttttt" right to the big guy's face.
一个男人和他肩上的小精灵一起走进了酒吧。他走到吧台前坐下,然后为自己和他肩上的小精灵点了两杯啤酒。他们喝完了两杯啤酒之后,小精灵从那个男人的肩上跳下来跑到了吧台的另一边,站在了一个大块头的建筑工人面前。小精灵看着那个建筑工人,正对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。”
Well the Leprechaun trots on back and hops back onto his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is a little ticked, but decides to shine on this breach of manners.
之后那个小精灵跑回了带他来的那个男人的肩上。那个建筑工人有一点生气,但是出于礼貌就没动声色。
After another beer and a half though,the Leprechaun hops down and again goes in front of the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbbttt" to the construction workers face.
又喝了一两杯后,那个小精灵又从那人肩上跳下来,到那个建筑工人面前对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。”
The Leprechaun trots on back and hops back on his buddy's shoulder. The construction worker is visibly bothered,but decides not to do anything again.
之后那个小精灵又跑回了带他来的那个男人的肩上。很显然,那个建筑工人看上去已经很烦了,但还是决定不采取任何行动。
Well sure enough,the guy and the Leprechaun drink another beer. Soon enough the Leprechaun hops down trots in front of the construction worker and goes, "ppphhhbbbbtttl" to his face. Well, this time the big guy has had enough of the little guy's manners and walks over to the fellow with the Leprechaun, again on his shoulder.
那人和小精灵又喝了一杯后,小精灵又做了同样的事情,到那个建筑工人前面对着他的脸说:“呸呸呸。”这回那个大块头再也忍不了那个男人和小精灵的行为了,于是就跟着那个小精灵来到了那个男人面前。
The construction worker tells this man, "If your little friend does that again,1' m going to cut off his little dick!” The fellow tells the big guy,"Well Leprechauns don't have dicks. ”The big guy asks, "Well how does he go pee?" The fellow with the Leprechaun on his shoulder looks at the big guy and goes, "ppppphhhhbbbbtttttt!”
那个建筑工人对他们说:“如果你的那个小朋友再那么做的话,我就把他给阉了!”那个男人告诉建筑工人说:“可惜,他没有那玩意儿。”那个建筑工人说:“那么他怎么上厕所?”那个肩上驼着小精灵的男人看着那个大块头建筑工人告诉他:“呸呸呸。”
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在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语故事四则,希望大家喜欢!
A man rushes into his house and yells to his w wife,"Martha, pack up your things. I just won the California lottery!”
一个男人冲进家门对他的妻子大声嚷:“玛莎,收拾你的行李,我刚刚底了加州彩券!”
Martha replies, "Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?"
玛莎问:“我是该带冬装还是夏装呢?”
The man responds,"I don’t care. Just so long as you’re out of the house by noon!”
那个男人回答说:“我可不管,只要你能尽快地搬出这个房子!”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典趣味英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
A 747 was halfway across the Atlantic when the captain got on the loud speaker:"Attention,passengers. We have lost one of our engines,but we can certainly reach London with the three we have left. Unfortunately, we will arrive an hour late as a result. "
一架747客机正跨越大西洋时,喇叭里传来了机长的声音:“旅客们请注意,我们四个引擎之中有一个丢失了。但利下的三个引擎会把我们带到伦敦的。不幸的是因此我们书晚到一小时。”
Shortly thereafter,the passengers heard the captain's voice again:"Guess what,folks. We just lost our third engine,but please be assured we can fly with only one. We will now arrive in London three hours late. "
过了一会儿,旅客们又听到了机长的声音:“各位,你们猜怎么啦?”我们刚又掉了第三个引擎。但请你们相信好了,有一个引擎我们也能飞,但要晚三个小时了。”
At this point,one passenger became furious. "For Pete's sake,"he shouted,"If we lose another engine,we'll be up here all night !"
正在这时,一位乘客非常气愤地说:“看在上帝的扮止,如果我们再掉一个引拿,我们会整夜都呆在天上了。”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小故事三则,欢迎大家阅读!
A father had four sons. One went to the big city,where he became a wealthy businessman,the other three remained in their home town. When their father passed away,the successful son was too busy to attend the funeral,but he told his brothers to spare no expense,since he would pay all the costs.
一位父亲有四个儿子。一个儿子到了大城市成了一位富商,另外三个儿子留在了家乡。当父亲过世时,有钱的儿子太忙无法前来参加葬礼。但他吩咐其兄弟们,不要舍不得花钱,一切费用由他来支付。
Shortly thereafter,the wealthy son received an bill for $5,000 from the funeral director,which he paid. But every month afterward he got a bill for $27. Curious about this little item, he wrote to his brothers and asked the reason for the monthly charge.”You told us that we should spare no expense,“his brothers wrote back.“Since you said Dad would like to be in style,we rented him a tuxedo."
事隔不久,做富商的儿子从殡仪馆主管那儿收到了一张5000美元的发票,他付了帐。从这以后,他每月都收到一张27美元的帐票。他对这笔微薄的开销有点儿好奇,于是就写信给其兄弟,想知道其中的原因。
他的兄弟们写回信告诉他:“你告诉我们不必节省。既然你说爸爸的穿着要高稚脱俗,所以我们为他租了一套黑色礼服。”
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一些幽默的英语故事,能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣,从而提高英语的阅读能力,今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享一些经典幽默英语小故事阅读,欢迎大家阅读!
Mother asks her son, “Jim, if you have ten candies, and you eat four, then how many candles do you have?”
“Ten.” Jim says.
“Then,” Mother asks.
“Yes, Mum. Four candles are in my stomach and six candies are out of my stomach. Four and six is ten, isn?t it right?”
故事2 十块糖
妈妈问儿子:“吉姆, 如果你有10块糖,吃了4块,那你还有几块糖?” “10块。”吉姆说。
“10块?”妈妈问。
“是的,妈妈。因为4块在我的肚子里面,6块在肚子外面,4加6等于10,不对吗?”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典爆笑英语小故事,欢迎大家阅读!
While vacationing in the Hawaiian Islands, I visited the World War II memorial atop the sunken U. S. battleship Arizona,a monument to those who died in the attack on Pearl Harbor. On board, I slipped on a stair-way and injured my thumb.
在夏威夷岛度假时,我参观了二战纪念馆。这个馆建在战争中被打沉的美军战舰Arizona号上,以纪念那些在珍珠港战斗中死亡的将士们。参观完上岸时,我在台阶上滑了一跤,把拇指划破了。
Back home,with the thumb still not healing properly,I called my doctor for an appointment. When I was asked the nature of my illness,I thought I' d give the background and began,"I was injured at Pearl Harbor..."
回到家后,我的拇指仍然没有愈合。于是,我预约了大夫。去看大夫时,我需要说清受伤的原因。我觉得要想把话说清楚必须要从头讲起,于是我这样开了头:“在珍珠港,我
受了伤……
" Well,”the nurse interrupted.“It took you long enough to report it !"
“噢,”护士打断了我的话说,“怎气过了这么多年,你才把它说出来?”
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在繁忙的生活中,也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典爆笑英语小故事四则,欢迎大家阅读!
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的办公室,大家常常订些外卖食品来吃。一天夜里,我们都找沙伦订了食品。她把订单列在一张不干胶的纸条上。等她到了饭店时,怎么也找不到那张订单了。沙伦走到柜台前,还没等她说话,收银员就背出了所有大家订的东西。沙伦问:“你怎么会知道这些的呢?”
"Tt's right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在这儿,”收银页说:“贴在了你的胸前。”
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在日常繁忙的生活中,也不要忘了放松自己的心情。下面是读文网小编为大家带来经典轻松幽默英语故事,希望大家喜欢!
Tony just finished the training at the Macdolod.
Tony刚结束在当地的麦当劳餐厅的培训。
So he was a little nervous being behind the register for the first time . his first customer ordered a milkshake
当他第一次站在收银台后工作时他不免有点紧张。他的第一位顾客点了一分奶昔。
" tony , " his manager said , " remember to say ' welcome to mcdonald ' s ' to each customer before they order .
经理说, “记得在客人点餐前要说‘欢迎光临麦当劳’ 。 ”
第二位顾客要了一份芝士汉堡。这一回,经理又走近Tony,说:“记得问每位客人是否要薯条配餐。”
这时,一个戴着滑雪面罩的男子走进餐厅,他走到收银台钱,用枪指着Tony的脑袋说:“把钱全拿出来!”
Tony看了一眼经理,想了下,迅速回答:“请问您是要堂食还是外带?”
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中国历史上下五千年,在这悠长的历史长河中,中国有着不少经典的历史故事值得后人思考。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典中国历史故事,欢迎大家阅读!
During the late years of the Qi Dynasty(221-206BC), Xiang Yu led a rebellion. After crossing the Zhang River, Xiang Yu ordered his men to sink all their boats and break their cooking pots. He issued each soldier three days' rations(给养) and warned them that there was no way to retreat; the only thing they could do to survive was to advance and fight. After mine fierce battles, the Qin army was finally defeated.
This idiom is used to indicate one's firm determination to achieve one's goal at any cost.
秦朝末年,秦军大将章邯攻打赵国。赵军退守巨鹿(今河北平乡西南),并被秦军重重包围。楚怀王于是封宋义为上将军,项羽为副将率军救援赵国。
宋义引兵至安阳(今山东曹县东南)后,接连46天按兵不动,对此项羽十分不満,于是要求进军决战,解困赵国。但宋义却希望秦赵两军交战后待秦军力竭之后才进攻。
但此时军中粮草缺乏士卒困顿,而宋义仍旧饮酒自顾,项羽见此忍无可忍,进营帐杀了宋义,并声称他叛国反楚。于是将士们则拥项羽为上将军。项羽杀宋义的事,威震楚国,名闻诸侯。
随后,他率所有军队悉数渡黄河前去营救赵国以解巨鹿之围。项羽在全军渡黄河之后他下令把所有的船只凿沉,打破烧饭用的锅,烧掉自己的营房,只带三天干粮,以此表决一死战,没有一点后退的打算。
正是这样已无退路的大军到了巨鹿外围,并包围了秦军和截断秦军外联的通道。楚军战士以一当十,杀伐声惊天动地。经过九次的激战,楚军最终大破秦军。而前来增援的其他各路诸侯却都因胆怯,不敢近前。楚军的骁勇善战大大提高了项羽的声威。以至战胜后,项羽于辕门接见各路诸侯时,各诸侯皆不敢正眼眼看项羽。
后来,“皆沉船,破釜甑”演化为成语“破釜沉舟”,以比喻拚死一战,决心很大。
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优美的文字于细微处传达出美感,并浸润着人们的心灵。通过英语美文,不仅能够感受语言之美,领悟语言之用,还能产生学习语言的兴趣。度过一段美好的时光,即感悟生活,触动心灵。下面读文网小编为大家带来英语经典美文故事,希望大家喜欢!
One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office. Apparently, they are there to file a divorce. Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story.
This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over years of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce.
Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 years of marriage at the age of 70, he couldn't understand why the old couple would still wants a divorce.
While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband. “I really love you, but I really can't carry on anymore, I'm sorry.”
"It's OK, I understand." said the husband. Looking at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just three of them, wife thought, why not, since they are still going be friends.
At the dining table, there was a silence of awkwardness.
The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady. "Take this, it's your favorite."
Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe there's still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer. "This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, don't you know that I hate drumsticks?”
Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favorite.
Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drumsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.
That night, both of them couldn't sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn. After hours, the old man couldn't take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he can't carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her, "I love you."
He picks up the phone, started dialing her number. Ringing never stops. He never stop dialing.
On the other side, she was sad, she couldn't understand how come after all these years, he still doesn't understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just can't take it any- more. Phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that it's him. "What’s the point of talking now that it's over. I have asked for it and now. I want to keep it this way, if not I will lose face. "She thought. Phone still ringing. She has decided to pull out the cord.
Little did she remember, he had heart problems.
The next day, she received news that he had passed away. She rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone. He had a heart attack when he was still trying to get thru her phone line.
As sad as she could be. She will have to clear his belongings. When she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, beneficiary is her. Together in that file there's this note.
"To my dearest wife, by the time you are reading this, I'm sure I'm no longer around, I bought this policy for you, though the amount is only $100k, I hope it will be able to help me continue my promise that I have made when we got married, I might not be around anymore, I want this amount of money to continue taking care of you, just like the way I will if I could have live longer. I want you to know I will always be around, by your side. I love you."
Tears flowed like river.
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