为您找到与一个笑话的英语相关的共200个结果:
The airplane was obviously in trouble. One engine was on fire, another was sputtering, and the machine was slowly, ineluctably losing height.
Finally the grim-looking captain entered the cabin.
"Ladies and gentlemen," he announced, "we've lost most of our power. The only way to keep the plane aloft is to lighten our load. We've alreadydumped the baggage, but it's not enough. I-m asking for volunteers to make the supreme sacrifice so that others may live, "
After a few minutes of stunned silence, a Frenchman stood to quivering attention, shouted "Vive la France!" and threw himself out the door.
Shortly thereafter, an Englishman rose to his full height,coolly declared, "God Save the Queen!" and followed thegallant Frenchman.
Finally, a Texan rose from his seat, cried, "Remember the Alamo! " and threw out the Mexican sitting next to him.
飞机显然出了问题,一个引擎着火,另一个嘎嘎作响,不可避免地,飞机缓慢地失去高度。
最后,面色凝重的机长走进客舱。
“各位女士,各位先生,”他宣布道,“我们已失去了大部分的动力,要保持飞机高度的唯一方法就是减轻我们的载重。虽然我们已经把行李丢掉,但还是不够,我要求几位自告奋勇牺牲生命以保全其他人的性命。”
一阵目瞪口呆的沉寂之后,一位法国人颤抖着站起来喊道:“法国万岁!”然后跳出机门。
之后一会儿,一位英国人站了出来,他冷静地说:“上帝保佑女王!”接着和那位勇敢的法国人一样跳出门外。
最后,一位德州佬从座位站起来,叫道:“毋忘阿拉摩!”说着便把隔邻的墨西哥乘客扔出窗外。
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The owner of the hamburger stand was rather surprised to see a man walk in with threeiguanas, but when the man ordered fourhamburgers with fries, the owner complied with a shrug.
The man and his iguanas enjoyed their dinner and left.
The next day the man returned with two kangaroos and the same scene was repeated.
On the third day the man entered with two orangutans and a chimpanzee, and the owner couldn't help making a remark.
"You certainly seem to be an animal lover," he said.
"That's true," said the man, "and I'd like you to know how much we appreciate your letting us eat here. Some proprietors object. "
"That's quite alright," said the shopkeeper.
"As a token of my appreciation, I’d like to give you this lobster. " And the animal lover handed over a live, wriggling crustacean
"Well, that's very kind of you. My wife and I will have it for dinner. "
"Oh, he-s already had dinner. But I am sure he-d love totake in a movie. "
有个人牵了三只大蜥蜴走进一家汉堡店,老板吓了一跳。接着他点了四份汉堡和薯条,老板耸耸肩答应了他的要求.
那个老兄和他的蜥蜴享受过晚餐后便离开了。
第二天,那个人带了两只袋鼠,又点了相同的东西。
第三天,他带了两只红毛猩猩和一只黑猩猩。
老板实在忍不住,便说:“您实在是个爱护动物的有心人。”
“那倒是真的,”那位仁兄回答说道.‘‘另外我也要感谢你让我们进来吃晚餐,许多店老板都拒绝卖东西给我们。”
“没有问题啦!”店老板说。
“为了向你表示谢意,我送你一只龙虾。”说着他便给老板一只活蹦乱跳的大龙虾。
“您真好,我太太和我将以它当晚餐。”
“喔,它已经吃过晚餐了,但我想它会喜欢看场电影。”
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Who was the first man? 谁是世界上第一个男人
A teacher said to her class:”Who was the first man?”
“George Washington,” a little boy shouted promptly.
一个老师问她的学生:“谁是世界上第一个男人”
一个小男孩立刻大声说:“乔治.华盛顿。”
“How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?”asked the teacher,smiling indulgently.
“Because,” said the little boy, “he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen.”
老师带着宠溺的笑容问这个男生:“你如何证明乔治华盛顿是世界上第一个男人呢。”
这个男孩子说:“因为,他是第一个挑起战争,第一个主张和平,并且是第一个深得民心的人。”
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand. “Well,” said the teacher to him, “who do you think was the first man?”
“I don’t know what his name was, ” said the larger boy, “but I know it wasn’t George Washington, ma’am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him.”
这时,有一个年龄稍大的男孩子举起手来,老师问他,“你认为谁是世界第一个男人?”
男孩回答说:“我不知道他的名字,但是我肯定他不是乔治华盛顿,因为历史书上说,乔治华盛顿和一个寡妇结婚了,所以在他之前,当然还有一个男的啦。”
promptly 立刻地
indulgently 宠溺地,放任地
widow 寡妇
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Mr.Green went to Germany,because he had some work there.He came back last Monday,and his young wife met him at the airport.They walked to their car and passed a tall,pretty air hostess.Mr.Green said to her,Goodbye,Miss Harris, and the air hostess smiled and saidGoodbye too.
格林去了德国,因为他在那里有些工作要做。他上星期一回国,他年轻的妻子到机场去接他。他们向他们的汽车走去,遇见了一位高挑、漂亮的空中小姐。格林先生对她说:再见,哈里斯小姐。那位空中小姐莞尔一笑,也说了声再见。
Mrs.Green stopped and looked at the air hostess.Then she said to her husband,How did you know her name?
格林夫人停下来,看看那位空中小姐,然后她问她丈夫:你怎么知道她的名字?
That was easy,answered Mr.Green.The names of the captain and all the crew were on a piece of paper in front of our sests.
这很容易,格林先生回答。机长和机组全体人员的名单都写在我们座位前的一张纸上。
What was the name of the captain?Mrs.Green asked with a smile.
那机长叫什么名字?格林夫人笑着问。
Mr.Green laughed and answered,I don't remember any of the other names.
格林先生笑着答道:我不记得其他任何人的名字。
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Once upon a time, there was a little girl named Jenny. Jenny and her family lived on a farm.
Jenny liked to play with the animals on the farm. Her parents raised cows, chickens and pigs. Jenny also had a brother and his name was Jason. She liked to play with Jason also, but he was much older than her. He preferred to play with his friends. Since Jason was old enough to ride a bike, he was old enough to leave the farm yard.
Jason would bike over to the neighboring farms and play with other boys who were his age.
从前有一个名叫珍妮的小女孩,她家住在农场。
珍妮喜欢和农场里的小动物一起玩耍,她的父母喂养了母牛、小鸡和小猪。珍妮还有一个名叫杰森的哥哥,她也喜欢和杰森一起玩。可是杰森比她大好几岁,他还是喜欢与自己的朋友一起玩。因为杰森的年龄已经够大了,可以骑自行车,也能够骑车离开农场了。
杰森可以骑着自行车到附近的农场,和与他同龄的男孩一起玩。
Jenny couldn't wait until she was old enough to go to school. She knew that she would find other girls to be friends with once she could get on the bus to go into the city for school each day. When Jenny turned five years old, she started going to school. She was having difficulties1making friends though. It seemed she didn't have anything in common with the other little girls her age. Fortunately, Jenny came from a loving family. Her mother and father would tuck2 her in each night at bedtime3 and each of them would give her a kiss.
They promised her that she would soon find something that she had in common with the other girls on the bus.
珍妮迫不及待地想要长大,那样她就可以去上学了。她明白只要可以每天乘校车到城里去上学,她就可以和其他女孩成为朋友。当珍妮5岁的时候,她终于可以去上学了,可是她却没有交到朋友。表面看来,她和其他同龄的小女孩没有什么共同之处。幸运的是,珍妮有一个充满爱的家庭。她的父母每天晚上都会在睡觉前替她盖上被子,接着各自给她一个吻。
他们保证她很快就会找到和校车上其他女孩的共同点。
One day, Jenny came home from school. Instead of being melancholy4, she was happy and excited. Her parents asked her about it. Jenny explained to them that she had found something that she had in common with the other girls on the bus. She was finally starting to make friends with them.
"What do you have in common with the other girls, Jenny?" her dad asked. "I have a boyfriend," Jenny said. Her parents were concerned. "Do you know what a boyfriend is, Jenny?" her mom asked.
"I heard the other girls talking about wanting to be older so they could have boyfriends. I asked my teacher Mrs. Smith what a boyfriend was. She said it's a boy who kisses you. So I told the girls on the bus on the way home that I had a boyfriend already. Now they all are jealous5 of me and want to be my friend." Now Jenny's parents were worried. "What boy is kissing you? Who is this boyfriend of yours?" Jenny's mom asked her. "Why, it's Daddy," Jenny said. "He kisses me goodnight. That makes him my boyfriend," she said. "Come to think of it, Mommy kisses me goodnight, too, so I guess that makes you my girlfriend. Wait until the girls on the bus hear I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, too!"
一天,珍妮放学回到家,非但没有忧郁,而且还是欢蹦乱跳的。于是父母便问她发生了什么事情,珍妮向他们解释说,她已经找到与校车上其他女孩的共同之处了,她终于开始和她们成为朋友了。
“珍妮,你和那些女孩有什么共同之处呢?”父亲问道。“我有一个男朋友。”珍妮说,她的父亲非常感兴趣,“珍妮,你知不知道什么是男朋友呀?”她的母亲问道。
“我听其他女孩说,她们盼望能长大一点,那样的话,她们就可以交男朋友了。因此我就去问老师史密斯太太,什么是男朋友。她告诉我男朋友就是吻你的男生。所以在回家的路上,我告诉那些校车上的女孩,我已经有男朋友了。现在,他们都很羡慕我,并且想要和我做朋友。”现在,珍妮的父母有些担心了。“是哪个男生吻你了?你的男朋友是谁呀?”珍妮的母亲问道。“有什么问题吗?就是爸爸呀。”珍妮说,“他每晚都会吻我,跟我说晚安,因此他就是我的男朋友。仔细想想,妈妈每晚也会吻我,跟我说晚安,因此我认为你是我的女朋友。我要和校车上的女孩说,我也有一个男朋友和一个女朋友啦!”
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英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言,笑话是一种艺术方法。下面是读文网小编整理的英语笑话,欢迎大家阅读!
The ruler of an ancient kingdom wanted to disprove the statement that the men of his domain were ruled by their wives.He had all the males in his kingdom brought before him and warned that any man who did not tell the truth would be punished severely. Then he asked all the men who obeyed their wives' directions and counsel to step to the left side of the hall. All the men did so but one little man who moved to the right. “It's good to see,”said the king,“that we have one real man in the kingdom.Tell these chickenhearted dunces why you alone among them stand on the right side of the hall.” “Your Majesty,”came the reply in a squealing voice,“it is because before I left home my wife told me to keep out of crowds.”
古代有一个国王,他想证明他领土内的男人并非像人们传说的那样,受到老婆的管制。他把王国里所有的男人都召到跟前,警告说,哪个男人胆敢不说实话,就会受到严厉的惩罚。然后,他叫所有听从妻子的命令和意见的男人都走向大厅的左侧。所有的男人都站到了左侧,只有一个小个子男人站到了右侧。国王说:“看到我们国家里还有一个真正的男子汉,真是令人高兴。告诉这些胆小的笨蛋,为什么在他们当中只有你一个人站在大厅的右侧。” “陛下,”那人尖声地回答:“因为在我出门之前,我老婆告诉我不要扎堆。”
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幽默英语小笑话不仅是放松的一种方式,还是我们学习英语的一种方法。下面读文网小编为大家带来轻松幽默英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
A little boy is in school working on his arithmetic. The teacher says,“Imagine there are five blackbirds sitting on a fence. You pick up your gun and shoot one. How many blackbirds are left”
一个小男孩在上算术课。老师问他:“假设篱笆上站着5只画眉。你用枪打死了一只,还剩几只?”
The litter boy thinks for a moment and says“None !”
小男孩想了一会回答说:“一只也没有了!
The teacher replies,“None,how do youfigure that?”
老师说:“一只也没了?你是怎么想出来的?”
The little boy says,“If I shoot one,all the other birds will fly away scared,leaving none on the fence.”
小男孩答道:“打死一只,其他的都吓飞了,篱笆上自然一只画眉也没有了。”
The teacher replies,"Hmmmmm, not exactly,but I do like the way you think"
老师赞许地说:“嗯,不全对,但我欣赏你思考问题的方式!”
The little boy then says,"Teacher, can I ask you a question?There are three women sitting on a park bench eating ice cream cones. One is licking her cone,another is biting it, and the third one is sucking it.How can you tell me which one of the women is married?”
小男孩于是说:“老师,我能问你一个问题吗?有三个妇女坐在公园的长椅上吃甜筒冰激凌。一个用舌头舔,一个用牙咬,一个用嘴吸,你说她们中哪一个结婚了?”
The teacher ponders the question uncomfortably and then finally replies,"Well,I guess the one sucking her cone.”
老师感到很不自在,他想了很大一会儿,最后回答说:“嗯,我猜应该是那个用嘴吸的吧。”
To which the little boy replies,“Actually,it’s the one with the wedding ring,but I do like the way you think”
听了老师的话,小男孩说:“答案是那个戴戒指的,虽然你答错了,但是我真的很欣赏您思考问题的方式。”
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在繁忙的生活中需要英语笑话来放松我们的心情,下面读文网小编为大家带来放松幽默英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!
The famous Dr. Smith,dean of Medical College,was appointed private physician to the King. Whereupon he proudly wrote the following notice on the blackboard of his classes:“Professor Smith informs his students that he has been appointed Honorary Physician to His Majesty the King.”
医学院院长,著名的史密斯博士被任命为国王的私人医生。于是,他自豪地在他任教的班里的教室里的黑板上写下如下通知:“史密斯教授通知他的学生,他已荣任国王陛下的医生。”
When he returned to his classroom in the afternoon,he found written below his notice this line: "God save the King”
当他下午回到教室的时候,发现他的通知下面又加了一行字:“愿上帝保佑国王!
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阅读英语笑话是放松心情的一种好方法,下面读文网小编为大家带来英语幽默轻松笑话精选,希望大家喜欢!
In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music,the teacher asked one of the boys,"What is the most important physiological quality of a musician”
在一次音乐学院的入学考试中,老师问一位应试的小伙子:“音乐家最重要的生理素质是什么?”
"To be deaf,”replied the boy.
“耳聋。”小伙子回答说。
"Nonsense”said the teacher angrily
“胡说!”老师愤怒地说。
"Why, sirs Don't you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?”the boy asked in reply disdainfully.
“怎么了,先生!您难道连鼎鼎大名的音乐家贝多芬是个聋子都不知道吗?”小伙子轻蔑地反问道。
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阅读英语笑话是我们放松的一种方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语小笑话,欢迎大家阅读收藏!
On her return from school,little Dolly, aged ten,was pulled on to her Daddy's knee,and informed that the fairies had that day brought a big surprise-a little baby brother.She seemed glad,and presently said:
放学回到家里,十岁的小多莉被拉过来坐在她爸爸的膝上,她被告知那天仙女们带来了一个大大的惊奇—一个婴儿小弟弟。她似乎很高兴,马上说:
"Will you give me a stamp,daddy?I want to write and tell brother Tom.
“爸爸,你能不能给我一张邮票?我要写信告诉汤姆哥哥。”
The father was touched by this,and provided the little lass with the materials to write a letter to her brother,who was away at school.Later,curious to know how she would tell the news,he took an opportunity to read what she had written.He received something of a shock on reading the following:
父亲被这话感动了,他为小姑娘提供了给她哥哥写信所需的各种用具,她的哥哥住在学校里。后来,想知道她是怎么报告这个消息的,他找机会读了她写的信。在读到下面这两行字时,他差点儿惊呆了:
“Dear Tom,
“亲爱的汤姆:
It's come off today.You've lost;it's a boy.”
今天结果出来了,你输了;是个男孩。”
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笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默趣味英语笑话精选,欢迎大家阅读!
Creighton was going along a West end square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.
当克莱顿教授沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候,他看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。
"Can’t you reach up so high? "asked the professor kindly.
“你是不是够不到这么高的地方呢?”教授好意地问。
"No,Slr,”said the small youngster.
“是的,先生。”那小孩说。
"Well, then, let me help you,”and the professor mounted the three steps and gave a splendid rat-tat.
“那好,让我来帮你。”教授登上那三级台阶,在门上重重扣了几下。
The little boy glanced hastily at the gentleman of the cloth. "Come on,”he yelled,"we must both run away.”
那个小男孩急忙给教授递上一个眼色。“快跑,”他喊着:“我们俩都得跑。”
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来搞笑幽默英语笑话附翻译,希望大家喜欢!
On the way home after watching a ballet performance, the kindergarten teacher asked her students what they thought of it. The smallest girl in the class said she wished the dancers were taller so that they wouldn't have to stand on their toes all the time.
看完芭蕾舞表演,幼儿园的老师在回家的路上问她班里的孩子们感觉怎么样。班里最小的一个女孩说,她希望演员们个子再高点就好了,这样就不用蹈着脚跳了。
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笑话在人们的日常生活中起着重要放松方式,下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默搞笑英语短笑话附翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor,my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and,to my dismay,Lily sat down in the front row.
一天下午,当我和一位教授谈话时,我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课,使我惊愕的是,莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady,”he said,“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time,not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”’
当我进去想把她弄出来时,讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人,”他说,“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二+几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
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笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”,在我们的日常生活中起着重要放松作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来经典幽默英语小笑话带翻译,希望大家喜欢!
Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at the end of his first year,his history professor failed him in his examinations,and he was told that he would have to leave the university. However,his father decided that he would go to see the professor to urge him to let Jack continue his studies the following year.
杰克在一所大学学历史。第一学期结束时,历史课教授没让他及格。学校让他退学。然而,杰克的父亲决定去见教授,强烈要求让杰克继续来年的学业。
"He’s a good boy,"said Jack’s father,"and if you let him pass this time,I’m sure he’II improve a lot next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.”
“他是个好孩子,”杰克的父亲说,“您要是让他这次及格,我相信他明年会有很大进步,学期结束时,他一定会考好的。”
"No,no,that’s quite impossible,"replied the professor immediately.“Do you know,last month I asked him when Napoleon had died,he didn't know”
“不,不,那不可能,”教授马上回答,“你知道吗?上个月我问他拿破仑什么时候死的,他都不知道。”
"Please sir, give him another chance,"said Jack’s father. "You see I'm afraid we don’t take any newspaper in our house,so none of us even knows that Napoleon was ill,"
“先生,请再给他一次机会吧。”杰克的父亲说,“你不知道,恐怕是因为我们家没有订报纸。我们家的人连拿破仑病了都不知道。”
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笑话能够使我们在紧张的工作生活当中获得一丝的放松,想放松一下心情的话,那么请阅读下面读文网小编为大家带来经典英语小笑话带翻译,欢迎大家阅读!
A group from Chicago spent a weekend gambling in Las Vegas. One of the men on the train won$100,000. He didn’t want anyone to know about it,so he decided not to return with others,but took a later plane home,arriving back at 3 am.
周末,有一个从芝加哥来的旅行团在拉斯维加斯赌钱。其中一个人赢了10万美元。他不愿意让别人知道,所以他决定不和别人一起回去,他乘了一架晚一些的飞机回家,到家的时候已是凌晨3点。他立刻来到房子的后花园,挖了一个洞,把钱埋了进去。
He immediately went out to the back garden of his house,dug a hole and planted the money in it. The following morning he walked outside and found only an empty hole. He noticed footsteps leading from the hole to the house next door,which was owned by a deaf mute. On the same street lived a professor who understood sign language and was a friend of the deaf man. Grabbing his pistol,the enraged man went to awaken the professor and dragged him to the deaf man’s house.
第二天早晨,他出去发现洞是空的。他看到有脚印延伸到他的邻居家里,那里住着一个聋哑人。在同一条街道上,还住着一位教授,他懂得手语,是那个聋哑人的朋友。这个人非常生气,他带了一把手枪,把教授叫醒,然后把他拖到聋哑人家里。
"You tell the guy that if he doesn't give me back my$100 000,I’m going to kill him,”He screamed at the professor. The professor conveyed the message to his friend,and his friend replied in sign language,“I hid in my backyard,under the cherry tree.”
“告诉他如果不还我10万美元,我就把他杀了!”他对教授吼道。教授把他的意思告诉了他的朋友‘他的朋友用手语告诉教授:“我把它藏在了后院的樱桃树下了。”
The professor turned to the man with the gun and said,“He’s not going to tell you. He says he he’d rather die first.”
教授转身对持枪的人说道:“他说他宁愿去死也不会告诉你。”
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A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad."Now,children,"said she,"has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?"
学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在,孩子们,”她说:“她们当中有谁让别人高兴过?”
"Please,teacher:said a small boy,:I’ve made someone glad yesterday."
“我,老师,”一个小男孩说:“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
"Well done. Who was that”
“做得好。是谁呢?”
"My granny."
“我奶奶。”
"Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grandmother glad."
“好孩子。现在告诉我们,你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
"Please,teacher,I went to see her yesterday,and stayed with her three hours.Then I said to her,‘Granny, I’m going home’,and she said,‘Well,I'm glad!’”
“是这样的,老师。我昨天去看她,在她那儿待了三个小时。然后我跟她说:‘奶奶,我要回家了。’她说:‘啊,我很高兴!’”
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Our teacher was telling us about a new system of memory training being used in someschools today.
我们的老师正在给我们介绍现在某些学校使用的一种新的记忆训练系统。
“It works like this,”she said. "Suppose you wanted to remember the name of a poet-Robert Burns,for instance.”She told us to think of him as Bobby Burns.“Now get in your head a picture of a London policeman,a bobby in flames. See? Bobby Burns!”
“这个系统是这样的,”她说。“假定你要记住一个诗人的名字一一例如,要记住罗伯特·彭斯的名字。”她告诉我们把他当作博比·彭斯。“让你的脑海里闪现出一个伦敦警察的形象,燃烧着的警察。明白吗?警察燃烧!”
“I see what you mean,”said the class know it all.“But how can you tell that it's not Robert Browning?”
“我明白你的意思,”班上的万事通说。“但是你怎么能说那就不是罗伯特·布朗宁呢?”
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Can I take the last piece of cake?
我可以拿走最后一块蛋糕吗?
The moment it gets real tense at the Apocalypse
那一刻才是世界末日真正的紧张
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