双语阅读:前男友越多婚姻越不幸福
摘要:一项研究表明,婚前有性伴侣的女人婚姻会更为不幸,而对男人却没有影响。
Women who have several sexual partners before getting married have less happy marriages - but men do no harm by playing the field,a study has found.
According to new research by the National Marriage Project, more than half of married women who had only ever slept with their future husband felt highly satisfied in their marriage.But that percentage dropped to 42 per cent once the woman had had pre-marital sex with at least two partners. It dropped to 22 per cent for those with ten or more partners.But, for men, the number of partners a man they appeared to have no bearing on how satisfied they felt within a marriage.
一项研究表明,婚前有性伴侣的女人婚姻会更为不幸,而对男人却没有影响。
根据全国婚姻项目的最新调查,在只和自己的丈夫发生性关系的已婚女人中,超过一半都拥有幸福婚姻。然而婚前有至少两位性伴侣的女性婚后的幸福人数只占42%。如果性伴侣人数达到了十位以上,这个数字跌落到22%。但是男性在此方面毫无影响。
Researchers said the study showed that sex with many different partners 'may be risky' if the woman is in search of a high-quality marriage.It concluded: 'Remember that what you do before you say 'I do' seems to have a notable impact on your marital future. So decide wisely.' The findings were published in 'Before 'I Do': What Do Premarital Experiences Have to Do with Marital Quality Among Today’s Young Adults?', published at the University of Virginia.
调查者表示,如果女人想拥有高质量婚姻的话,那么婚前性伴侣太多无疑是有点危险的。调查结论称,要记住在你和另一个人宣誓结婚之前,性伴侣的数量对将来的婚姻生活会产生很大影响,所以要明智决断。这项调查结论被刊登在《“我愿意”之前:婚前经历对婚姻质量有何影响》上,由美国弗吉尼亚大学出版。
The report, by Galena K Rhoades and Scott M Stanley, said the first conclusion of the study was our past experiences, especially when it comes to love, are linked to our future marital quality, they said.
由加莱纳·K·罗迪斯和斯科特·M·斯坦利撰写的报告称,第一项研究得出的结论是我们过去的经历和未来的婚姻质量挂钩,尤其是关乎爱情的时候。
The researchers said those who had more partners perhaps find it difficult to commit to their spouse because they were aware of the alternatives.They added that more experiences of breaking up can give people a 'more jaundiced view of love' which could affect future relationships.
调查者称婚前伴侣越多,婚后越难忠诚于他们的配偶,因为他们知道还有其他人可以替代。他们补充说,分手次数越多,人们越容易对爱情产生偏见,这也会影响他们未来的关系。
The report said: 'Many in Generation YOLO (you only live once) believe that what happens while you’re young won’t affect your future. But our research paints a different picture. This doesn’t mean that sex before marriage will doom a marriage, but sex with many different partners may be risky if you’re looking for a high-quality marriage. Having had more relationship experiences prior to marriage also means more experience breaking up. A history of multiple breakups may make people take a more jaundiced view of love and relationships.'
报告里说:“在当下的YOLO一代(you only live once, 人生只有一次)中,很多人都相信自己还年轻,对将来不会有影响。但是我们的调查却展现出不同的结论。然而这也不是说婚前性行为会给婚姻判死刑。感情经历丰富同样意味着分手经历丰富,这会使人们对爱情、稳定关系产生偏见。”
The study also found that couples who had more than 150 guests at their ceremony had the greatest marital quality down the line. It said: 'We think this finding has to do with making a public declaration of commitment and having community support. The more support a couple has, the better they are able to navigate the occasional choppy waters associated with marriage.'
调查同时发现,婚礼邀请宾客多于150位的新人婚后生活质量最高。报告称:“这个结论意味着有更多人见证的宣誓结合更容易获得支持。而新人获得越多支持,他们越能够经得起婚姻中的波澜。”
The study tracked the relationships of a representative national sample in America of 1,294 unmarried men and women aged 18-34. The researchers followed the subjects for five years. In that time, 418 were married. Only 23 per cent of those who got married during the survey had sex solely with the person they married.
这项研究跟踪调查了美国1294名男女,年龄层为18~34岁,历时五年。这五年中,418位踏进了婚姻殿堂,而其中只有23%在此期间只和自己的未婚夫/妻发生过性关系。
婚姻关系
Traditionally, the woman has held a low position inmarriage partnerships.
从传统上讲,婚姻伴侣关系中女人的地位较低,
While her husband went his way she had to wash,stitch and sew.
当她丈夫出去工作时她必须洗洗涮涮,缝缝补补。
Today the move is to liberate the woman,which may in the end strengthen the marriageunion.
当今的趋势是解放妇女,这最终可以巩固婚姻。
Perhaps the greatest obstacle to friendship in marriage is the amount a couple usually see ofeach other.
也许婚姻中友好关系的最大障碍是一对夫妻互相看到的时间量。
Friendship in its usual sense is not tested by the strain of daily, year-long cohabitation.
通常意义上的感情不能由经年累月的同居生活所检验。
Couples need to take up separateinterests as well as mutually shared ones,if they are not to get used to the more attractiveelements of each other's personalities.如果夫妻想要使各自性格中更有吸引力的那些部分不失去新鲜感,那么他们不但要有共同的兴趣,而且要有独立的兴趣。
Married couples are likely to exert themselves for guests—being amusing, discussing withpassion and point—and then to fall into dull exhausted silence when the guests have gone.
已婚夫妇在来客人的时候会竭尽全力招待客人,谈话时充满激情,幽默风趣,谈话充满智慧,但是客人离开后便陷入了沉默的,无话可说的状态。
As in all friendship,a husband and wife must try to interest each other,and to spend sufficienttime sharing absorbing activities to give them continuing common interests.
正如在所有的感情关系中,丈夫和妻子必须尝试引起彼此的关注,并花费充足的时间共同分享感兴趣的活动,以便维持共同的兴趣。
But at the same time they must spend enough time on separate interests with separatepeople to preserve and develop their separate personalities and keep their relationship fresh.
但是同时他们必须花费足够的时间在不同的人和兴趣上,以保持和发展他们各自的个性,并保持关系常新。
For too many highly intelligent working women,home represents chore obligations,because thehusband only tolerates her work and does not participate in household chores.
对很多高智商的工作女性来说,家代表琐碎的家务,因为丈夫仅仅容忍她不工作,却不参与家庭琐事。
For too many highly intelligent working men,home represents dullness and complaints—froman over-dependent wife who will not gather courage to make her own life.
对很多高智商的工作男性来说,家代表无聊和抱怨,来自没有勇气创造自己生活的过分依赖于人的妻子。
In such an atmosphere,the partners grow further and further apart,both love and likingdisappearing.
在如此的气氛下,夫妻渐行渐远,爱和喜好通通消失。
For too many couples with children,the children are allowed to command all time andattention,allowing the couple no time to develop liking and friendship,as well as love,allottingthem exclusive parental roles.
对很多有孩子的妻子来说,孩子允许支配父母的所有时间和注意力,使得夫妻没有时间来培养好感,感情和爱,留给他们的只是父母亲的角色。