为您找到与50个英语笑话爆笑超短初一相关的共200个结果：
英语笑话是指以一句英文短语或一个英文故事让说话者和听者之间觉得好笑,或是产生幽默感,笑话是一种经过艺术加工的语言形式,是艺术化的语言。下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
1、The mean man's party
The notorious cheap skate finally decided to have a party. Explaining to a friend how to find his apartment, he said, "Come up to 5M and ring the doorbell with your elbow. When the door open, push with your foot."
"Why use my elbow and foot?"
"Well, gosh," was the reply, "You're not coming empty-hangded, are you?
吝啬鬼请客
一个出了名的吝啬鬼终于决定要请一次客了。他在向一个朋友解释怎么找到他家时说：“你上到五楼，找中间那个门，然后用你的胳膊肘按门铃。门开了之后，再用你的脚把门推开。”
“为什么要用我的肘和脚呢?”
“你的双手得拿礼物啊。天哪，你总不会空着手来吧?”吝啬鬼回答。
英语笑话六：
2、I think that I'm a chicken
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?
病人：我认为我是一只鸡。
精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?
病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑笑话七篇，欢迎大家阅读!
魔鬼的妹夫
A woman whose husband often came home drunk decided to cure him of the habit. One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home.
一位妇人发现丈夫回家的时候总是烂醉如泥，她决定为丈夫治好这个毛病。一个万圣节夜里，她穿上一套魔鬼戏服，躲在树后，准备在丈夫返家时拦截他的去路。
When her husband came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
当丈夫走近时，她从树后跳出来，站到他面前，头上带着红色的羊角、身后有长长的尾巴，手中握着钢叉。
"Who are you?" he asked.
“你是谁?”丈夫问到。
"I'm the Devil!" she responded.
“我是魔鬼!”她回答到。
"Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
“噢，那你跟我一起回家吧，”丈夫说，“我娶了你的姐妹!”
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读文网网英语栏目为您精选语言地道的英语爆笑笑话,让你开心学英语。
Two Pieces of Cake
Tom: Mom, can I have two pieces of cake, please?
Mom: Certainly -- take this piece and cut it two!
两块蛋糕
汤姆：妈妈，我可以吃两块蛋糕吗?
妈妈：当然可以----拿这块蛋糕把它切成两块吧!
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一些幽默的英语笑话，能提高我们阅读英语的兴趣，从而提高英语的阅读能力，今天读文网小编在这里为大家分享20个英语笑话爆笑超短，希望大家喜欢这些英语笑话!
1.某男，粗通英文，至使馆，有表要填，有一栏是sex。
该男思之久已，毅然下笔：“Once a week“。
签证官观后暴笑，曰：“This item should be filled in with male or female.“
该男顿时赧颜，思之，填下“female“，官楞之，曰：“shouldn’t it be male?“
男急释曰：“I am a normal man, so I have sex with female.”
2.一位在美的留学生，想要考国际驾照。在考试时因为过于紧张，看到地上标线是向左转。
他不放心的问道:turn left?
监考官回答：right.
于是他立刻向右转。
很抱歉他只有下次再来。
3.传说克林顿和教皇同一天去世，上帝搞错了，把克林顿送上了天堂，而把教皇送入了
地狱。发现错误后上帝马上改了回来，路上二人相遇。
教皇：感谢上帝，我终于能见到圣母玛利亚了(Virgin Maria).
克林顿(坏笑中)：Sorry，it"s too late.
4.A：What’s on your hand?
B：Watch.
A：How to spell that?
B：T-H-A-T~
5.女：say“i love you”，say it，come on!say it!
男：it!
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下面是读文网小编整理的简单英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."
一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑小笑话，希望大家会喜欢!
A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed, beelines for a butcher shop and steals a roast. Butcher goes to lawyer's office and asks, "If a dog running unleashed steals a piece of meat from my store, do I have a right to demand payment for the meat from the dog's owner?" The lawyer answers, "Absolutely." "Then you owe me $8.50. Your dog was loose and stole a roast from me today." The lawyer, without a word, writes the butcher a check for $8.50. Several days later, the butcher opens the mail and finds an envelope from the lawyer: $250 due for a consultation.
律师的狗，没有拴而到处闲逛，它来到一家肉店，偷走了一块 烤肉。店主来到律师的办公室，问道“如果一条没栓的狗从我的商店里偷了块肉，我有权利从狗的主人那里要回损失吗?律师答道：“完全可以”，“那你欠我 8.50美元，你的狗没栓而且今天从我的店里头了块肉”，律师什么都没说，马上给他写了一张支票。一些天后，店主打开邮箱，发现一封来自律师的信，信上写 道：咨询费250美元。
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下面是读文网小编整理的英语爆笑冷笑话，希望对大家有帮助。
Just as I began my Christmas Eve service, the electricity in the church failed. The ushers and I found some candles and placed them around the sanctuary. Then I reentered the pulpit, shuffled my notes, and muttered, "Now, where was I?" A tired voice called out, "Right near the end!"
就在我开始平安夜祷告时，教堂停电了。教堂里的接待人员和我找到一些蜡烛，把它们放在礼堂周围。然后我重返讲道坛，整理了一下笔记后，我说：“刚才我讲到哪儿了?”传来一阵不耐烦的声音：“马上就讲完了!”
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典英语爆笑笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
A mother is admonishing her son.
Now, John, don't be selfish. Let your little brother share the bicycle with you.
But Mother, I do. I ride it down the hill, and he rides it up the hill.
别太自私
一位母亲在劝告她的儿子。
"听着，约翰，别太自私，让你的弟弟和你共用一辆自行车。" "妈妈，我是让他。我先骑下坡，他再骑上坡。"
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下面是读文网小编整理的爆笑趣味英语笑话四则，希望大家喜欢!
A Touching Farewell
两个老朋友出外打高尔夫球，
Two old friends were out golfing.
当他们在一处路旁准备开球时，
As they were'preparing to tee off near a road,
一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里，其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前，
a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and
直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。
held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.
“你这样做实在很有礼貌，”他的同伴说道。
"Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner.
“喔，那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。
"Oh, it was the least I could do.
毕竟，到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。
After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "
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下面是读文网小编整理的经典爆笑英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
A little girl from the East Side was invited to a garden party given by a very aristocratic lady to a group of little East-Siders.
The little girl, as she drank her tea and ate her plum-cake on a velvet lawn under a white-blooming cherry tree, said to her hostess:
Does your husband drink?
Why-er-no, not to excess, was the astonished reply.
How much does he make?
He doesn't work, said the lady. He is a capitalist.
You keep out of debt, I hope?
Of course, child. What on earth do you mean by all these impudent questions?
Impudent? said the little girl. Why, Ma'am, Mother told me to be sure and behave like a lady, and when ladies call at our rooms they always question Mother like that.
无礼的问题
一个住在城东贫民区的小女孩获得邀请，参加一位贵妇人为城东贫民区的孩子们举行的花园晚会。
在一棵开满了白色小花儿的樱桃树下，小女孩坐在柔软的草地上，一边品尝着她的茶和梅子蛋糕，一边对贵妇人说：你的丈夫酗酒吗? 呃，呃，不，他喝得不多。夫人一脸惊诧。
他挣多少钱?
他不工作，夫人回答说，他是个资本家。
我希望你们没有负债吧?
当然没有，孩子。你问这么些无礼的问题到底是想说什么呢?
无礼?小女孩说，怎么会呢，夫人?妈妈要我的举止一定要象夫人们一样，当她们到我们家做客的时候，她们总是那样问我妈妈的。
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
A much worried patient walked into doctor's office asking for help:
候诊室里坐着一位忧心忡忡的病人，当医生传唤他时，
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday!"
他满面愁容的说：“医生，怎么办?我昨天误喝下一瓶汽油!”
"Oh, Don't worry! All you have to remember is not to smoke in the next few days!"
医生回答他說：“喔..没关系啦!记得这几天不要抽烟!”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初一英语小笑话，欢迎大家阅读!
Teacher: Walter, why don’t you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong, teacher. That was yesterday.
老 师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。
沃尔特：我吃了什么?
老 师：鸡蛋。
沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!
5-year-old daughter, wanting her father to help her do something.
Father: "I’m so tired, if you praise me twice, I’ll Be fresh."
Daughter: "Lao Zheng!"
Dad: "hey!"
Daughter: "your chick looks really nice ah ......"
5岁的女儿让老爸帮她做某事。
老爸：“爸爸很累啦，你夸我两句吧，你夸我两句我就又有劲了。”
女儿：“老郑!”
老爸：“哎!”
女儿：“你家妞妞长得可真漂亮啊……”
以上就是读文网小编为大家带来的爆笑英语笑话精选，希望大家喜欢!
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从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来爆笑英语笑话集锦，欢迎大家阅读!
A visitor to the zoo noticed one of the keepers sobbing quietly in a corner and on inquiry was told that the elephant had died.
一名参观动物园的游客注意到一名饲养员正躲在角落里默默地哭泣。他问是怎么回事，别人告诉他大象死了。
"Fond of him，was he?"the visitor asked.
“他很喜欢那头大象，是吧?”游客问道。
"It's not that,"came the reply. "He's the chap who has to dig the grave."
“并非如此，”那人回答说，“他负责给大象挖墓穴。”
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“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面读文网小编为大家带来初一英语幽默笑话带翻译，欢迎大家阅读!
As a clerk at a university post office,I was greeting patrons with a "Hello"or "Good morning".When a Spanish exchange student approached the counter，I happened to say,"How's it going?"
作为一个大学邮局里的职员，我总是对那些光顾者这样打招呼“你好”或“早上好”。当一位西班牙的交换学者来到我的柜台时，我偶然这样招呼了一句"How is it going?"
Laying his foreign mail in front of rne，he replied,"Airmail."
他把要寄往外国的邮件放在我面前说:“寄航空。”
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